Christmas - The type of person God uses (The Birth of Jesus)

Raise your hand if you still have some Christmas shopping left.

Moms always have to be surprised when they get the robe, another bathrobe, or something else to hang up. But Christmas is, sometimes a season filled with unexpected happenings. A couple of years ago, my family and I were traveling across country and we stopped at a Chili's to eat lunch. And inside the restaurant, Sophia and I turned the corner and unexpectedly, we ran into Santa Claus.

Now, this wasn't just a guy dressed up. This guy was Santa. From his head to his toes. He was in a red hat. He had the jacket. He had the full beard, rosy red cheeks, little gold rimmed glasses. He had the big belt and the red pants and the white fur and the boots. This guy was Santa.

And at that point, Sophie was about nine years old. It was in late fall. Completely unexpected. We weren't thinking we were going to see Santa that day. So Sophie stood there looking at Santa's. Big smile on her face. Santa stood there looking at her. Big smile on his face. And no one said anything. So he bends down and he looks at her and he keeps smiling. She keeps smiling. No one saying anything. Sophie finally says, hi, Santa. And he still doesn't say anything. Finally, Sophie looked at me and said, I have to pee. So we went to the restroom. You know, when Santa shows up unexpectedly, he can be a scary thing to some children. In fact, when Santa shows up and he's expected to show up, it can be a scary thing for some kids.

Some kids just don't want to sit on Santa's lap. Maybe you have photographs like the pictures on the screen. Maybe you remember a time when you tried to get your child to sit still for Santa, and they freaked out and they cried and they screamed. And you were felt like the only people in line that had that happen. We have this big build up to the kids seeing Santa Claus. And when it occurs, it can be a nightmare. And I think I know why Santa is overwhelming to some kids. Think about it. He knows when you've been sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. So you're pretty good. It's no wonder some children are afraid of Santa from the time they're little. We're telling them about. Santa is watching you right now. He sees what you're doing right now. Do you want me to put you on the naughty list? I'm going to write Santa a letter.

I think many people like the idea of Santa Claus from a distance. Many children like that idea of Santa Claus at a distance. But you get too close to Santa, and he's a little overwhelming.

And I think, like Santa is to children,God can be like that often for us big people. I think the idea that there is this omniscient, omnipotent, all-knowing, everlasting God who sees everything, who knows everything, who knows our thoughts before we think them. Well, gosh, that can be a little bit overwhelming. And then when we understand that that overwhelming God who is all-powerful, all-knowing, wants to use you and me for his work on this earth, it's a lot to take in. And it can be overwhelming. In today's passage, Mary, the mother of Jesus, learns from an angel that God wants her to be the mother of Jesus. That God wants this teenage girl to raise the Son of God. And we see her response. So let's read together Luke chapter one, beginning in verse 26.

Luke 1:26

In the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. Gabriel appeared to her and said, greetings, favored woman, the Lord is with you. Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. Don't be afraid, Mary. The angel told her, for you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the son of the most High.

The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David, and he will reign over Israel forever. His kingdom will never end. Mary asked the angel, but how can this happen? I am a virgin. The angel replied, The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. What's more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age. People used to say she was barren, but now she's in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God. Mary responded, I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true. And then the angel left her.

And this passage of Scripture today, I think we're going to see some characteristics of the type of person God uses.

And it's very important for us to understand from the get go that as we read this story, we understand Mary was not a perfect person, yet God chose to use her to raise his son. Let me rephrase that. God chose to use an unwed mother to give birth to his son. God chose to use an unwed teenage girl to give birth to a son and to be the mother of Jesus.

Even at this young age, Mary had characteristics of the type of person God uses. Now, like you, I'm still in the process of becoming the person God created me to be. I'm still at work becoming the husband that I imagined I would be 25 years ago when we got married. I'm still in the process of becoming the daddy that I imagined I would be 17 years ago, when we had our first daughter.

I'm still in the process of becoming the pastor I imagined I would be. I'm in that process, and so are you. You are not yet complete, and I am not yet complete. But if we want to become the type of person God uses, then I think there are some characteristics that we can draw out from this passage of scripture that's going to help us fully understand, or at least get a little bit closer to being the type of person that God chooses to use.

Because God's not finished with you. God's not finished with me. God's not finished with our families. So let's press in to this passage of Scripture and really see how we need to develop as followers of Jesus to become that person God uses. So first understand this.

God works through people of faith

God works through people of faith. If you want to become the type of person that God uses understand first and foremost. God works through people of faith. God chose Mary, a teenage girl, to be the mother of Jesus. And because this pregnancy happened outside of wedlock, Mary would face a lot of shame from people in the community. Now, many of us, and maybe you're one that has experienced this. Many of us know people from our family.

Many of us know people from our, maybe our children that have gotten pregnant outside of marriage. And the first thing that we think about is maybe the first thing we think about is what are other people going to say? Well, let me just add this. If that's you today, I want you to know, look, this is a place where you can find hope and second chances.

And we want to do everything we can to come alongside you to be a blessing to you. Or if that's a family member, we want to be able to come alongside them and bless them and care for them. But the people 2000 years ago weren't filled with so much grace. 2000 years ago, if a man and woman were betrothed to be married and the woman ended up pregnant and it wasn't the fiancee's child.

Old Testament law said that they could that that man, the groom, could take his bride to the doorsteps of her parents house and invite the men to come out and stone her to death. There wasn't a lot of grace built into that law. This was a teenage girl that just learned even though she was a virgin. She was going to be pregnant.

What she faced, the challenges that she faced were insurmountable. And yet how she responded is not quite the way you and I might respond. God chose Mary. He knew she was a teenager. He knew that her pregnancy would bring disgrace. So why did he choose Mary? Well, I believe that it's because Mary's faith in God was strong enough to get her through the shame.

Her faith in God was strong enough to get her through the disgrace, through the rumors, through the gossip. I believe that her faith in God would guide her through those difficult conversations that she had with Joseph. Like, can you imagine sitting down with Joseph and say, Joseph, I do love you. I have been faithful to you. And it was the Holy Spirit that that conceived this child inside me.

Mary had to have enough faith to navigate through the conversation with her parents. Mom and dad, I promise you, I promise you, I have been faithful. God knew that Mary had the type of faith that could overcome gossip, overcome rumor, overcome disgrace. God knew that Mary had the type of faith that could navigate through the hard, difficult season that he was asking her to walk through.

Out of all the people on the planet, God chose a teenage girl named Mary because he knew her faith would get her through. And that's exactly what faith does for you and I. Faith helps us navigate difficult, embarrassing seasons.

Faith helps us navigate through hard situations in life. Faith helps us overcome situations, trusting that God is going to give us the next few words to say that he'll give us the right words at the right time, to say the right thing.

The author of Hebrews describes face this faith this way.

Hebrews 11:1

Faith is a confidence that what we hope for will happen. It gives us assurance about things we cannot see. As a follower of Jesus. We hope that one day Christ is going to return. We look forward to that day that we will be in heaven, where God Himself wipes away every tear from our eye.

Where there's no more sorrow, no more death, no more decay, that we are one with God and able to worship him for the rest of our lives. We can't see that right now, but our faith gives us hope. So we place our hope in what we cannot see.

Hebrews 11:6

It is impossible to please God without faith.

The moment you surrendered your life to Jesus, it was because you had faith that Jesus gave up his life for you. The moment you surrendered your life to Jesus, it's because you had faith that Jesus was the Son of God. You understood that you sin, that you deserve death, and that God, through Jesus, forgave you of your sins. That Jesus, when he died on the cross, he paid the price for your sin. You didn't see it. You weren't there 2000 years ago. But by faith you believe what Jesus did for you. Without faith, it's impossible to please God. So the very same faith that we put in Jesus to forgive us our sins is the same faith by which we ought to live.

Hoping for those things that have not yet happened. Believing God will work all things out for good. Believing that God will restore your marriage. Believing that God will restore your relationships. Believing that God will provide for you when you feel like you're at the end of your rope, and that nobody else cares. Believing that God will provide a way for you.

Faith. Faith is what we live by and it's by our faith that we please God. So God works through people who have faith in him.

God works through people who trust him

When we trust in God, that is a result of our faith. Faith is more than just head knowledge. When faith moves into obedience, it's called trust.

God works through people who trust him. Now, earlier in the gospel, the angel Gabriel visited a man named Zechariah. He was an old priest, and he showed up while Zechariah was doing his duties inside the temple. And the angel Gabriel showed up and said, Zechariah, have I got some news for you? Your old wife is going to bear child, and she's going to be called, you know, later on we're going to discover this John the Baptist, and he's going to prepare the way for the Messiah.

And Zechariah responded almost by laughing, how isn't that angel Gabriel? How? There is no way that's going to happen. How can I be sure? Send me a sign. Instead of trusting God would do what he had promised. Praying for a child is what Zechariah and Elizabeth did for years. And when the angel Gabriel showed up and said, okay, you're going to have a child.

He did not believe. He refused to believe the news.

Luke 11:8 - 20

Zechariah said to the angel, how can I be sure this will happen? I'm an old man now, and my wife also was well along in years. That's another way for saying my wife is old too. And the angel said, I am Gabriel. I stand in the very presence of God. It was he who sent me to bring you this good news. But now, since you didn't believe what I said, you will be silent and you will be unable to speak until the child is born. For my words will certainly be fulfilled at the proper time.

Zechariah did not trust, and his lack of trust had consequences. And when you and I do not trust God, we will experience consequences. God desires to bless us. God desires to protect us, but we must trust him. And when we demonstrate trust, we're walking in obedience.

John 14:21

He who has my commands and keeps them, this is the one that loves me, and he who loves me will be loved by my father, and I will love him and show myself to him.

You and I are called to trust God, and we demonstrate our trust in God by keeping his commandments. And the greatest commandment that Jesus gave to us is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love our neighbor as we love ourselves. The greatest demonstration of trust for a follower of Jesus is not that you'll win the lottery one day, is not to spend $10 on $10 cards and scratch him off. And prayerfully, you win the lottery. The greatest demonstration of trust for a follower of Jesus is to love your neighbor, as you love yourself.

There are so many people in today's world that don't want to enter the doors of a church, because the church isn't loving their neighbor as they love themselves. And that's one thing that we've got to do a better job at. As followers of, Jesus is walking in submission, trusting him and doing and living obediently to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

Look at the similarities between Mary and Mary and Zechariah and the angel Gabriel. Zechariah did not believe and he said, how can I be sure? I need a sign because my wife and I are way too old. But Mary trusted her and said, okay, how's this going to happen? I've never been with a man. I don't understand how this is going to happen.

God chooses to work through people who have faith. He's not afraid to answer your questions. He's not afraid to speak to you, but he chooses to work through people who have faith. Mary believed, and she experienced blessing. Zechariah later believed when Elizabeth had a son and he named him John.

God desires that you and I experience his presence through walking in obedience. Living by faith. Following him with a trust filled heart.

God works through people who have a servant's heart

Look at what Mary said in verse 38. I am the Lord's servant. Let it be to me as you have said. Mary could have come up with 100 different responses, and all of them, as a parent, would be what my daughter I would want my daughters to say.

If this was a situation that happened to them, I would want my daughters to say, God, could you use somebody else for this? There's no way my community is going to buy this. My marriage plans do not include having a baby bump on my wedding day. My wedding plans do not include being pregnant with the Son of God.

There's no way the people in the community are going to believe this God. Would you please choose somebody else? I don't want this weight. I'm a teenage girl. I don't want to carry this burden. And I think oftentimes when we hear that whisper from the Lord of of God speaking to our hearts, and he's leading us to do something, what we often say is, God could you please choose somebody else for this?

But I don't want to love my neighbor as I love myself the way you want me to. I want to love them from a distance, but I don't want to care for them. I don't want to become a servant to them. But instead of trying to convince God to change his mind, she accepted the plan and she submitted to God's leadership. And she said, I am the Lord's servant. That's because servants do what their masters ask them to do. Servants do what their masters ask them to do.

Throughout the history of the world. If someone has said to another you are the boss, that means they do what the boss asks them to do. When one of my daughters gave her life to Jesus and she was baptized at a young age, about six years old, I asked her. I said, so what does it mean now that you've given your life to Jesus?

And she said, he gets to be the boss of me for the rest of my life. And that is the correct picture of the Lordship of Jesus. When we surrender our lives, we're surrendering our lives. We're becoming a servant to the Most High God. And Mary's attitude was spot on. Could God have used somebody else? Yes. But he chose her.

And she said, I am but a servant. And because she had the heart of a servant, her life was forever changed. So if you have doubts that God can actually use you, become a servant. If you have doubts that God can use you in this world, become a servant to other people. Watch and see how God blesses humility.

Watch and see how God blesses those who try to bless other people. See, your whole role as a follower of Jesus is trying to bless other people. You're loving other people the way that Jesus loves you. When Jesus looked at his disciples and when they asked what the greatest commandment was, he didn't say, beat people over the head with the Bible, tell them how wrong they are in life.

He said, love your neighbor as you love yourself despite your differences politically, despite your differences socially. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love crosses every line, every border, every boundary. That's why love never fails. And when this Christmas season, when you're sitting around the Christmas table with your in-laws and you're sitting around the Christmas table with family and friends that you don't agree with.

Love never fails. Becoming a servant never fails. Beating him over the head with scripture will fail, but love won't.

So be a servant

Make those around you more important than you. There's a reason why we have the word called selfishness in the in the dictionary, right? Every every language on earth has a word for selfishness. It's when they're looking out for themselves.

This Christmas season. Let your family know how changed you've been by Jesus because of your selflessness. Because you're making them more important than you. You're taking care of them. You're tending to their needs. You're living like a servant. Will it get hard? Yes. God never calls us to easy. I wish he did. I wish God called us to easy things in life.

But he doesn't. God calls his followers to do the hard to take the form of a servant and to bless other people. If you want God to use you, be a servant and be committed to the Lordship of Jesus in your life. Demonstrating to your family and friends how much Jesus has changed you. By the way you take the form of a servant as well.

God uses people who are faithful. God uses people who place their trust in him, and God uses people who have the heart of a servant. Let God use you this Christmas season to make a difference.

Christmas - Tips For Surviving The Holidays

At some point this Christmas season, Kristy and I will pack up our four kids and two Goldendoodles and head to Georgia to spend time with her parents, her sister and husband, and our nephew.  I always look forward to spending time with family, especially around Christmas. Sleeping on air mattresses. Kids are cranky and fussing. Dealing with disappointment if you get the wrong gift. In-laws arguing in front of family. Strange odors around the house. The Christmas season COULD also be accurately called the awkward season.

Seldom does anything turn out according to plan. The food burns. The air mattress leaks and you wake up on the floor. The in-law's argument gets so heated people begin taking sides…

The strange odor around the house turns out to be your shoes…

Today, I want to pass along FOUR TIPS to help you survive Christmas Day, New Year's, and the Holiday season.

Matthew 1:18-25 (NLT2)

18  This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. 19  Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. 20  As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. 21  And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22  All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet: 23  “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’” 24  When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. 25  But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus.

In the days of Mary and Joseph, the marriage process was FAR different than it is today. First, the marriage was arranged by the parents.   Second, a contract was prepared with the groom’s parents paying a “bride price.” Third, the marriage became legally binding after the contract and bride price were agreed upon.  Fourth, after the marriage became legally binding, the bride and groom still did not live together. The Bride and Groom would enter a season of purity testing.  The groom would travel to his home, get it ready for his bride, lock down a job and income if he did not have one, and when ready after the season of PURITY testing was over…the groom would travel to bring his bride home and then the marriage would finally be official after their first night together.

So, Joseph left to prepare the house for Mary. He waited for the season of purity testing to be over…It ended, with great excitement, he traveled back to get Mary… He shows up at Mary’s parent's house; she is seated, and she stands up…SURPRISE, HONEY! “I’M PREGNANT!”

Would you have been angry or devastated if this happened to you. So was Joseph. I am sure Joseph wrestled with thoughts like this:

I have been keeping myself pure. I have prepared our home. AND MARY has been sleeping with somebody else! Who is it Mary? Is it the mailman? Is it the Goat farmer down the street? And Mary replies, “It was the Holy Spirit.”  We see that Joseph really did not believe Mary’s story.

Matthew 1:19 (NLT2)

19  Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.

If he had believed her, he would not have considered ending the engagement.

That takes us to our first Christmas survival tip. Like almost every Christmas so far, this season, you will have family tell you wild and unbelievable tales about their lives. They might brag and lie about being promoted at work…They might boast and lie about a dating life…

So…the first Christmas survival tip:

DO NOT ASSUME YOU ARE RIGHT; THERE IS ALWAYS MORE TO THE STORY (v. 19)

The story Mary told him was crazy!  “The Holy Spirit Got Me Pregnant.” He was embarrassed. He was angry. He was hurt.  But JOSEPH was WRONG to believe the worst about Mary.  He suffered emotionally because he was WRONG. He decided to divorce her quietly because he was WRONG.

This Christmas season, even if a relative’s story and life sounds made up and crazy…do not assume you are right. There is always more to the story… (Now, the more to the story may mean your relative needs therapy…) But do your best to not jump to conclusions.

Though Joseph was wrong about Mary…Joseph was still going to show great mercy toward her. According to Deuteronomy 22:20-21, after the Groom came for his bride, if the GROOM discovered she was no longer a virgin, she could be drug to the door of her father’s house and stoned to death.

I am sure that Joseph had some buddies that goaded him on…You don’t have to take that Joseph! But, even though he did not believe Mary, he chose to show mercy to Mary. He decided not to shame her publicly and would handle a quiet divorce.

Joseph’s reaction leads us to our second tip.  If this season gets too stressful and awkward and you feel like you are about to say something you will regret:

DO NOT LET YOUR FEELINGS DETERMINE YOUR BEHAVIOR; LET GOD DETERMINE YOUR BEHAVIOR (v. 20)

Despite how he may have felt, Joseph chose a gentler action.  He did not allow his emotions to lead the charge as he dealt with this challenging situation. Instead of choosing to stone her, he decided to divorce her quietly. Even though he was hurt, he did not wish for his wife and his wife’s family to be shamed and humiliated.

So, around your family, choose not to shame your relatives. Choose to swallow your pride, even when you know they are wrong…choose not to humiliate them. Choose to let yourself be wronged to keep peace.

Your feelings will get hurt this Christmas Season. Somebody is going to speak harshly to you.  Somebody is going to step on your toes. Somebody is going to give you the silent treatment. Somebody may gossip about you. Lie about you. Somehow, Cousin Eddie will show up and drain the joy from your life. If you want to survive and thrive during Christmas – you must NOT allow your FEELINGS to determine your course of action.

Paul, a follower of Jesus, wrote this:

Romans 12:17-21 (NLT2)

17  Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18  Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. 19  Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD. 20  Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” 21  Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

See – if you are a follower of Jesus – If you have committed to follow Jesus by receiving Him as your personal Savior. If you received forgiveness for your sin and have entered a relationship with God through Jesus…then this passage gets to boss you around and prescribe how you get to live around a crazy family filled with Cousin Eddies…

When we respond to others based on our emotions, we will escalate the situation and make things worse for everyone else.  God has a better path and plan for us.

If you want peace, you must be the sacrifice. Retaliate with genuine kindness. Offer them something to eat and drink. Conquer evil by doing good. Even if you believe you are right.

Choosing to be the sacrifice leads us to the third tip.

DO NOT BE JUDGMENTAL
CHOOSE TO BE MERCIFUL RATHER THAN RIGHT (v.24)

Show kindness anyway. That is what mercy is. Mercy is undeserved kindness.

Scripture isn’t filled with passages about Joseph.  But from this sliver of scripture, we can see why God chose Joseph to be the earthly father to Jesus…Even though he made a wrong conclusion, Joseph could have chosen to stone Mary.  Instead, he decided to show mercy and divorce her quietly. Joseph was a man who demonstrated uncomfortable grace. There is no telling what impact Joseph had on Jesus.
Did Jesus learn to turn the other cheek from his dad?

Did he learn to show mercy from his dad?

Did he learn to forgive 70 x 7 from his dad?

I wonder if Jesus the boy learned to shoulder the weight of the sin of the world by watching how his father carried the weight of whispers in the community.

Parents and Grandparents, your family is watching and learning from you this season.  If you retaliate with vengeance and anger…they will, too.  If you choose to be merciful and kind – they will learn how to be compassionate and kind through you.

And finally, the behavior you model will lead you to this last tip:

DO NOT GET DISTRACTED
CENTER CHRISTMAS AROUND JESUS (v.25)

It is SO EASY to get distracted by family and gifts and lose focus.  Joseph finally came around and believed Mary’s story.  An ANGEL of the LORD spoke to him and told him that Mary was pregnant with God’s Son.

Because Joseph BELIEVED by faith what happened to Mary, the direction of his life changed.  Instead of seeking to divorce – he stayed in the marriage.  They had more children together, and for a season, until he died, Joseph raised Jesus as his own.

Every Christmas Eve, we have a birthday party for Jesus. Kristy will bake a little cake with the girls.  We will sing “Happy Birthday, Jesus.” We want to make sure our focus is on Jesus.

What will you choose to center your life around?  The things people say about you? The presents you give to others? Family? Food? Do not allow the distractions to build up and become the focus of your life so much that you lose your temper, retaliate, and hurt others.  Choose to center your life on Jesus.

James - Controlling the tongue

In today’s passage of scripture we will be challenged to controlling the tongue.

James 3:1-12

Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. 3 We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. 4 And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6 And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. 7 People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, 8 but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. 10 And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 11 Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? 12 Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.

As James is writing this letter he continues to warn against false teaching. In this passage it reminds us that Our Words matter. Our Words have power. Our words can lift someone up to the high places or Our words can bring someone to the lowest places.

The Tongue can lead us to Stumble

James says in verses 1 and 2: 1. Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. Teachers are held to a higher standard because their words influence others.

Luke 12:48

48. when someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.

We know it is a higher accountability. As far as followers we are also held to a standard. Our lives need to tell the truth about who God is. We need to live in a way that it is evident that God is our father.

James is not talking about perfection in a sense that we are perfect. He says we make mistakes, we will stumble. James is providing a way to measure spiritual maturity for teachers and for all Christians.

Matthew 12:34-35

34. You brood of Snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For Whatever is in your heart determines what you say. 35. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

Words Reveal our inner Character. When we do not Stumble in our Words it shows true Spiritual maturity. We can Stumble in our Words especially about ourselves by boasting, by exaggerating, and by just selecting what we want to say about ourselves that may be untrue for reputation purposes. We can stumble in our Words about others by gossip, slander, cruelty, being two-faced, and anger; or with flattery and insincere words meant to gain favor. We need to demonstrate Godly speech, modeling Christlike Self-Control. This is a very important lesson that James wanted to relay to his Audience and something God wants us to apply today.

The Tongue can control the direction of your Life and your relationships

Even though the tongue is small in comparison to the body. The tongue has Immense power. It has the power to direct. It has the power to build. It has the power to destroy. How do you use that Power? Do your words direct people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus? Do your words build others up? Do your words destroy others or relationships? We have all heard the “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” It is a lie! Words do hurt. When you hear the words “You were a Mistake” it hurts. When you hear “You are not good enough” It hurts. When you hear “You’re Stupid” It Hurts. When you hear “ I can’t stand you instead of I love you" it hurts. Words Hurt.

I have struggled with depression for a while. It really hit me hard when my brother was tragically killed in a car accident. It brought me to a point where I no longer thought my life was of value. I thought that this world, my family and friends would be better without me. God spared me from my thoughts. God spoke through all the noise of the words I had replayed in my head. The words: not good enough, worthless, loser, subpar. God Spoke louder. I ended up going to a facility and started counseling and for the first time I started to replace the lies with truth. I realized that the words I heard were not true. I realized that I was not defined by the words of people but by the Word of God. I am a Child of His. I am not junk.

I do not pretend to know what each of you are going through, but I do know that God loves you. Maybe you have been completely shattered and broken by the words of others, or maybe your words have deeply wounded someone else. I can tell you that I personally have been on both sides.

I know from my own personal experience and by reading God’s word that the tongue has the potential to harm and needs to be used with wisdom and restraint.

We always hear about the Freedom of Speech, but that doesn’t give us the right to just say anything we want. Use your words wisely. Even if your mom cooked the dish your wife just cooked better, doesn’t mean you should say it.

Use Your Words wisely and use restraint. Remember your words can alter someone’s direction in life. Positively or negatively.

We see that there is power in the tongue, so how can we control it? How can we Tame the tongue? James 3: 8 says but no one can tame the tongue. it is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. James is not saying give up. He’s not saying just say what you want because it uncontrollable. What James is saying is that

The Inability to tame the tongue shows our need for God

We as humans can control a lot of animals. Those animals can be tamed. They can be tamed without divine power. We can tame them by our own ability and power. James says we Cannot tame the Tongue. He’s saying it is difficult to tame the tongue without God’s help. What we say comes down to our heart. Luke 6:45 says what you say flows from what is in your heart.

Studies have been conducted to measure the amount of words used on average and it equals about 6000. That seemed like a lot of words. This equals 12 single space pages. Now imagine this is all being recorded. It’s being recorded by God. Now think about all of the years you have been able to speak and it's all recorded. That’s scary right? Now let’s just focus on this last week or month. Based on the words that you have spoken to your spouse, what does it say about your heart? Do your words to your spouse relay the truth of God? What about your children? What about your coworkers? What about Your Family? or Friends?

Think about every Word being written down and recorded. What will it reveal about your Heart. I shared before how God led me here. I had served many years in the Ministry and was so hurt by people that I wanted to just fade away and never be in ministry again. I had been hurt by people. I was hurt by their words. I shared that I spent time in a facility. I shared with the church I served at my struggle with mental health. I shared who I was and my struggles. One day we as a church decided to replace some flooring. Some wanted tile, some wanted carpet. This blew up into a full blown war. A fight for power. We lost focus on our mission to reach the lost. Words were spoken. Words ruined relationships. Words hurt the advancement of God’s Kingdom.

In this process I received an anonymous typed letter using my struggles with mental health against me. The words in this letter hurt me deeply. It brought me to isolation. I felt I could be in a church like this full of people and still feel all alone. God used people in this church to speak words of truth to me. Words that built me up. Even though words had hurt me and brought me to a place of worthlessness. God used the words of people to build me up. Words that reminded me that God wasn’t done with me, That he had never uncalled me. I allowed words to harden my heart but God put people in my life that used words to bring life back to someone who hadn’t felt anything in several years.

We cannot tame the Tongue without God. With God our words can bring life! Use your Words wisely because

Our Words expose the contradictions in our Hearts

True Faith calls for our words and worship to be consistent. We should be reflecting God’s Love in all we say. My words do not always reflect God’s Love. I know James says earlier that we all make many mistakes, we all stumble. You may be here or online and struggle with this as well. You may still be hurting from someone’s words. You may realize today that you may have hurt someone with your words.Maybe you are here and realize you need to seek forgiveness. You may need to start using your words to build up and not destroy. No matter where you are right now, know that God is still changing lives. He’s still perfecting imperfect people. The words of others may have kept you away from church for a long time. you may still be holding on to something someone said many years ago. I know it hurts.I’ve been there. I also know that the words of man do NOT define you but the Words of God do. Hold To what he says about you. You are Loved! You are not Worthless. He sent his Son for you! He knows you! He created you!

Use your tongue…Your Words for Building up not tearing down.

Ephesians 4:29

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Recognize the influence of your tongue, your words, and seek God’s wisdom to speak with Grace and love.

James - Faith Without Works

On November 13, 2024, our Beach Church team held our first Annual Planning Meeting. It was a day of celebration, reflection, and looking ahead. Each ministry department shared its “wins” for 2024 and strategic goals for 2025. Reflecting on this past year, it is obvious that God is doing great work.  Since the first Sunday of this year, we have seen over 180 baptisms and 83 salvations, and on many Sundays, we have more than doubled in worship attendance since 2022!  

We have experienced incredible life-change across our worship, Life Groups, family ministries, and beyond. We have so much to be thankful for because God is moving among us, and He is changing our lives and the lives of others. I recognize that the first part of this message may sound a bit self-serving.  If you hang with me through the end, I think you will realize it is not. I may sound like I am patting myself on the back…I assure you I am not.

Every year, churches in America hang a “Permanently Closed” sign on their doors.  Researchers estimate anywhere between 5,000 to 10,000 churches shut down every year. The difficult truth is that the churches just didn’t suddenly die; they had been on life-support for years. And, Beach Church could have been one of those statistics. So, on this first Sunday in December, I want to take a few moments to highlight some of the measurable ways God has been moving among us this year:

SINCE JANUARY 2024…

• With our Monthly food distribution, we have provided food for 12,360 people, doubling the amount of people from 2023. 

• We gave away over 900 Bibles during weekend worship services

• Since January 2024, we have welcomed 988 first-time guests, 385 second-time guests, and 314 third-time guests. 1,686 guests have visited Beach Church!

• We celebrated 180 baptisms (so far!) in 2024

• We provided wood-burning stoves to the Mayan people, hosted a Back Yard Bible club, and engaged the community by providing help with construction projects. 

• Launched an “Adoption and Foster Care Ministry” with 28 adults and 12 children. We matched three sets of families with support. Widows Ministry helped launch a “Foster Care Closet” to help meet the needs of foster children and foster families.

• In response to Hurricane Helene, we collaborated with other churches and our community and delivered over 100 pallets of supplies. 3 teams provided disaster relief work, with scheduled trips for 2025.

• Chili Fest: Earned First Place and $2,500 for Grand Strand Miracle Leagues.

• LifeGroups: Expanded from a pilot of 5 groups to 34 groups in 2024. Leadership grew from 5 to 34 LifeGroup leaders, connecting over 350 people in life groups.

• Children's Ministry has grown 50% since 2022, we now average 150 and growing. 

• Student Ministry: Averaged 75 students in the latter half of 2024. The first-ever Student Bash led to 7 salvations, 18 rededications, and 26 students interested in baptism.  (By the way, Baptism Sunday is December 15th…)

• Operation Christmas Child: Provide 941 Christmas boxes in partnership with Samaritan’s Purse. 

• We wrapped up our Sermon Series on Marriage with 350-400 couples renewing their vows.

• We have been recognized by Outreach Magazine as the 58th fastest-growing church in America.

I believe the reason God has been moving in and through Beach Church is because so many people have invited God to continue to CHANGE them into the people He wants them to become. They are being the hands and feet of Jesus in our church, and in our community. They are practicing good works and living out their faith in very real, practical ways.

Today in James 2, we will read about the life-changing faith that so many in our church have been practicing – faith characterized by a servant lifestyle.  And, we will be reminded that many people do not serve because they have not yet been changed by Jesus.

Let’s read.

James 2:14-26 (NLT2) 

14  What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 15  Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, 16  and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? 17  So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. 18  Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” 19  You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. 20  How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless? 21  Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22  You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. 23  And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God. 24  So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone. 25  Rahab the prostitute is another example. She was shown to be right with God by her actions when she hid those messengers and sent them safely away by a different road. 26  Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works. 

James describes two different types of faith in this passage:  He describes a dead faith, and a living faith.  And, it is important that you understand the difference between the two.  A living faith resides in the heart of those who have surrendered their lives to Jesus and serves others gladly when given the opportunity.

But a…

DEAD FAITH KNOWS ABOUT JESUS, BUT DOESN’T FOLLOW HIM

James 2:17 (NLT2) 

17  So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. 

Let’s imagine the same scenario James describes at the beginning of this passage.  Imagine this evening as you are driving home from dinner, and the person who held the door open for you as you came into church today, is holding up a cardboard sign at an intersection that reads, 

“Cold and hungry. Please help.”

You say to yourself, “I know them from church.” So you lower your window and say, “Hey! Don’t I know you from Beach Church?”  They affirm that they attend, you chit chat back and forth, the light turns green, and you drive off and tell them, 

“Stay warm – it’s going to get cold tonight!”

If you profess faith in Jesus but can imagine yourself doing something like that, you have a dead and useless faith.

James 2:26 (NLT2) 

26  Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works. 

Faith is dead without good works. 

That means you know and understand what Jesus did for you on the cross – but you have never surrendered your life to him.  You don’t follow Jesus to do good works, because you haven’t given him your hands and feet yet. You believe in Jesus, but you have never received Jesus. You have a dead faith. In fact, you have a demonic faith.

Look again at verse 19…

James 2:19 (NLT2) 

19  You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. 

A dead faith, is the same faith demons have.  The demons believe in God, but their belief is only intellectual, it is not transformational. A transformational faith that is alive that God uses to change the lives of others only comes when your belief leads to, surrender.

If…

you believe God created the human race,

you believe humans disobeyed and sinned against God 

you believe the punishment for sin is death.

But you also believe Jesus was fully God and fully man, 

And you believe he satisfied the punishment for your sin by dying on the cross, rising from the dead, ascending into heaven, and will one day return…

If you BELIEVE these things – then let your belief lead you to surrender.

Surrender your life to Jesus.  Commit to follow him.  From this moment forward, invite Jesus to be your Savior, and give Him your hands and feet.  Tell him from this moment forward, you will live for Him. Now, because you have repented and turned away from your sin, you want to meet the needs of others.  You have experienced the life-changing, resurrection power of Jesus in your life.  He gives you the power and the desire to do what pleases him…

And…

LIVING FAITH SERVES OTHERS AND MEETS NEEDS

James insists people prove they have faith by the good works they produce.  They demonstrate that Jesus is Lord of their lives by serving others and meeting their needs. The hypothetical situation that James introduces in chapter two could never happen because a true follower of Jesus would never chit-chat with a brother or sister in Christ, a believer in need, and tell them to stay warm in such a callous way. A follower of Jesus would read the sign, have compassion, pull the car over, and offer warm clothes and a meal.

And whether you are serving with Meals on Wheels, distributing food once a month, building houses with Habitat for Humanity, serving at New Directions ministry to help those at the end of their rope, regroup and get their lives back on track, a life group leader, or working with our children’s ministry, you understand that living faith serves others and seeks to meet the needs of those around them, whatever they may be.

And finally,

LOVE FOR JESUS COMPELS US TO GOOD WORKS. 

As followers of Jesus, we must remain close to the heart of Jesus and do those things he whispers into our hearts.  Those ARE the GOOD Works he has prepared for YOU to do.  I have mine.  You have yours.  

Mine is to equip followers of Jesus to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  

Ephesians 4:11-12 (NLT2)

11  Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12  Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 

Your responsibility is to stay close to the heart of Jesus and be obedient to God.  Do the work God has called you to do. And one of the ways I am convinced God has called me to equip us as a church is to lead our church to get out of debt. This year, for our Christmas Offering, I am inviting you to give sacrificially to help our church retire the mortgage we have carried for the last twenty years or so.

I often pray, “God, keep me out of your way to let you work.” Truthfully, this year, I almost got in God’s way regarding the Christmas Offering. I almost let doubt and fear dictate the plan instead of obeying the Spirit’s prompting. But I refuse to limit what God wants to do through us!

If we have learned anything from our recent journey, it is this: GOD IS NOT FINISHED CHANGING LIVES THROUGH BEACH CHURCH. As your Pastor, I am convinced that the Lord desires us to be debt-free. So, I’m asking—let's dig deep, give sacrificially, and see what the Lord will do!

Our mortgage balance is $571,169, with a monthly payment of $16,400.

Imagine standing together as a church family at a Note Burning Ceremony in 2025! Imagine knowing that we are completely free to serve, give, grow, and lead people into a life-changing relationship with Jesus—unencumbered. Reflect on those wins from 2024 – and imagine what we can do if we were able to move forward into 2025 with no mortgage. 

Imagine the impact Beach Church can make on our community when we are free from that mortgage payment! God has led me to this, and I know He’s leading us as a church. Together, we can eliminate this debt and increase God’s Kingdom locally and globally. If our faith is alive, it means we take steps that may seem impossible, trusting God to move mountains. Paying off our debt is one such step. Imagine how God can multiply our good works when we are completely unencumbered, ready to say yes to anything He puts before us.

We will receive the Christmas Offering at our 9:30 and 11:15 services on Sunday, December 22, 2024.

James - Favoritism & Sin

Last week I shared a bit of my childhood story.  I have two sisters born before me, then a brother, a sister, and another brother born after me.  

So, six kids.  

It’s no wonder my dad was an alcoholic with a bad temper.

I was the oldest son, and there was a 16-month age difference between my brother and me.  My dad had spent the day drinking, and one night, he sat my brother and me down at the table; he looked me dead in the eye and said, “You are my favorite son.” Then he looked at my brother in the eyes and said, you are number two.  But Joe is number one.”

What a terrible way to parent! Throughout our childhood and teen years – my brother was always competing against me. He and I fought hard.  Fist fights. Cussing fights. But now – years later – we have both surrendered our lives to Jesus, and of all my siblings, I have a closer relationship with him than any others.

Trust me, it's destructive when parents play favorites with their children. It creates tension, fighting, jealousy, division, and isolation. Yet, the first followers of Jesus were Jewish people, and they were convinced that they were God’s favorites. The Old Testament teaches us that God promised to bless the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and he promised to send a SAVIOR.

So, the earlier followers of Jesus initially considered Jesus an EXCLUSIVELY Jewish Savior. We understand why they may have thought that…but…as we will learn from our passage of scripture today, these early followers of Jesus were WRONG.  

Or as Colonel Sanders from “Waterboy” would say – “Momma was wrong again.”

When Jesus was about to ascend into heaven, he said to his disciples:

Matthew 28:19 (NLT2) 

19  Therefore, go and make disciples of (finish the sentence) all the nations.

Yet, the followers of Jesus that James wrote this letter were failing at reaching other nations with Jesus' life-changing message. They were only reaching the Jewish nation, and, to make it worse, they showed favoritism between the Jewish people.

Let’s read:

James 2:1-13 (NLT2) 

1  My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? 2  For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. 3  If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, 4  doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives? 5  Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? 6  But you dishonor the poor! Isn’t it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? 7  Aren’t they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name you bear? 8  Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 9  But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law. 10  For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. 11  For the same God who said, “You must not commit adultery,” also said, “You must not murder.” So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law. 12  So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. 13  There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. 

When we launched this series, we looked at Acts 1-9 to get some of the context for the people James wrote this letter to.  Now, it is highly likely that James wrote this letter after the events that unfolded in Acts 10. In Acts 1-9, the good news of Jesus had not yet reached outside the walls of the Jewish community.  But in Acts 10, non-Jewish people began surrendering their lives to Jesus.

If that is the case, then it makes sense that he began his letter writing to the “Twelve Jewish Tribes scattered abroad…”  In his mind, he was writing exclusively for the Jewish people he had pastored, even though he now understood the message of salvation was for everybody. The first thing we understand from this passage is something James learned from the gospel spreading outside the circle of Jewish people:

FAVORITISM IS A SIN BECAUSE FORGIVENESS IS FOR ALL. 

James was a Jew.

He was a descendant of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

He was chosen by God.

He was a brother to Jesus and the Pastor of the first Church in History.

Through his growth as a believer in Jesus, James understood that God created all people and God Loves all people…therefore He has no FAVORITE!

Can I tell you a secret? I actually thought I was God’s favorite as a younger believer. 

After surrendering my life to Jesus, I began reading my Bible and praying in the morning before work. In the evenings, before bed, I read my bible and talked to God again.  I attended church every Sunday morning, night, and Wednesday and often furiously took notes.

And on top of those outside visible things – I sensed a nearness with God unlike anything I had ever felt. Whenever somebody would teach that God does not have favorites – I wanted to leap out of my seat and yell – YES, HE DOES!  I’m his favorite!

I think that is what a growing intimate relationship with Jesus feels like.  When you are growing in your relationship with God – you can’t help but feel special.

Even though I felt like I was God’s favorite, the truth is – There is no favoritism with God.

FORGIVENESS for sins is for everybody.  ALL who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved. 

We are to love people regardless of race, political affiliation, religious views, nationality, socioeconomic status, and it is our mission to “Lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus.”

Which people? All people.

Why? God loves them all!

I understand we live in a divided world. 

We are divided by wealth. 

We are divided by State lines. 

We are divided by borders of countries. 

We are divided by language…

But all…

DIVISIONS DISSIPATE AT THE CROSS

In the days of Jesus, the Jewish people not only believed they were God’s favorites but there was also great hostility between Jewish people and non-Jewish people.  

The Gentiles were forbidden from entering the Jewish Temple, where the Jewish people could go.  The closer one was able to get inside the temple, the “nearer” you could get to God.  But the Gentiles (all those who were not Jewish) were not good enough to enter into God’s presence for worship, and they were restricted to the outermost wall —the Court of the Gentiles.

It was like a designated spot for smokers.

You could go this close – but you weren’t good enough to have the best seats…

Archaeologists found an inscription on the wall that warned Gentiles against going any further.  

It read: 'No foreigner is to enter within this wall. Whoever is caught will have himself to blame for his death.'

If you are having a hard time grasping the hostile meaning of those words, imagine that on the outside of our church building, we had a sign that read:

"Snowbirds, enter these doors, and you die...”

"Transplants, enter these doors, and you die…”

“White people, enter these doors, and you will die.”

“Black people, enter these doors, and you will die.”

I know these words are harsh, but I want you to feel the kind of exclusion that was happening at the time of this writing. This is the type of hostility that Jesus' sacrifice destroys. The truth is, if we are honest, we sometimes still have barriers in our hearts that keep people at a distance. Barriers that treat others as if they are not welcome or good enough to be around us.

Maybe you treat Golf buddies better than the cashier at the Grocery Store. Maybe you treat the people who live in your community better than those who stand at the corner begging for food. God’s love compels us to something radically different. The Temple walls kept people out, but the cross tears down every wall. At the cross, every single person—regardless of background—is welcomed by Jesus. 

Favoritism contradicts everything Jesus stood for. The first church was almost exclusively filled with Jewish converts. They believed that Jesus was just a Jewish Savior. Because of favoritism, they missed God’s bigger mission—to bless all the families of the earth through Abraham.

The favoritism seeped into other areas.  The rich and wealthy received the best seats, the poor sat on the floor in the back.

And that is why we see AMAZEMENT in Acts 10:45:

Acts 10:45 (NLT2) 

45  The Jewish believers who came with Peter were amazed that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out on the Gentiles, too.

The Jewish Believers were amazed that divisions dissipate at the cross.  Paul wrote this in Galatians: In Christ…

Galatians 3:28 (NLT2) 

28  There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Love changes the way we see ourselves, changes the way we see others, and changes the way we treat and respond to others. 

Remember, it’s always a good thing to show grace and love. Love is patient. Love is Kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, It is not focused on itself. AND LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Because there is no favoritism or partiality with God, as followers of Jesus, we love and lead differently. Finally, because God has no favorites and Jesus died for all people…

GOD’S GRACE IS FOR EVERYONE – INCLUDING YOU!

Whoever you are. 

Whatever you’ve done. 

Whatever has been done to you. 

No matter your background, failures, or successes – God offers forgiveness and hope! 

“Everyone who believes in Jesus receives forgiveness of sins through His name.”

Salvation isn’t based on your heritage, ethnicity, education, language, employment, or criminal record. It is offered to everyone who surrenders to Jesus, simply asking Him to change their lives by receiving him as your Savior.

PRAYER OF SURRENDER

God,

I believe that Jesus suffered for my sin on the cross and died.

I believe he rose from the dead; he is now with you in Heaven

and will return to earth one day.

I surrender my life to you and receive Jesus as my Savior.

Thank you for forgiving my sin and changing my life.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Make these words your own prayer, and turn your life over to Jesus.

James - Listening and Doing

When we relocated to Myrtle Beach a couple of years ago, to help my daughter's transition, we bought two large Goldendoodles named Magge and Winne. They weigh about 90 lbs each, are two years old, and within two weeks of having a bath – they stink like dogs. I bought a huge air purifier when we bought the dogs.  It has a little light on the front of the machine that changes color when it detects “dirty air.” I keep it in the dogs' room…and sure enough, within a couple of weeks after the dogs get a bath – they start stinking enough for the air purifier to tell us that the quality of the air in our home is poor.

It’s not because they are bad dogs or do anything crazy like rolling in filth…it’s because they are dogs…and eventually, dogs get dirty and stink. And, sometimes, followers of Jesus are like that, too.  

We have surrendered our lives to Jesus.  We are born again and made new…but even the most careful and obedient follower of Jesus starts to wreak after a while. We let unconfessed sin build up in our lives.  We carry hurt, resentment, or bad attitudes.  We carry a judgmental spirit towards others and a “holier than thou” attitude, and after a while, we begin to stink. As James wrote the followers of Jesus, he mentions how they have started stinking, too.

Once, these followers of Jesus were examples for everybody to look up to, but these followers of Christ had turned sour, mean, rude, and…stinky.

So James reminds them of the importance of listening to the Word of God, the voice of the Holy Spirit, that they received when they trusted Jesus as their Savior.

He writes:

James 1:19-27 (NLT2)

19  Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20  Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. 21  So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22  But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23  For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24  You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 25  But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. 26  If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. 27  Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. 

Great conversations are being had today about what it means to “live clean.”

Health experts have warned us for years that to be healthy; we must be more particular about what we eat and choose products with the least amount of ingredients. Everything you and I eat and purchase at the grocery store requires a “list of ingredients.” And, the fewer ingredients we eat, the cleaner our bodies become. So, if a product only has one or two ingredients (and if you can pronounce those ingredients) the more that product is considered healthy.  They call it, “Eating Clean” or “Living Clean.”

And, in this passage, James challenges us to…

LIVE CLEAN, BECAUSE GOD HAS STAMPED TRUTH ON YOUR HEART

James tells us to get rid of all the filth and evil in our lives. Since the days of Moses, the Israelite people were told how God wanted them to live.  He gave them instructions on how to love God with all their heart and how to love their neighbor as they loved themselves. Then, he gave them Levitical priests whose only responsibility was to teach and remind the Israelite people to follow God. Yet – the Israelites continued to rebel time and time again. He gave them the Word, and they disobeyed and rebelled. He gave them priests; they stuck their fingers in their ears and said we would not listen.

Zechariah 7:11 (NLT2)

11  “Your ancestors refused to listen to this message. They stubbornly turned away and put their fingers in their ears to keep from hearing. 

The Israelites figuratively stuck their fingers in their ears like a child and refused to listen and do what God wanted them to do.  They refused to love him with all their heart and love their neighbor as they loved themselves. In the eyes of the Lord, they rebelled and kept choosing their own way to live.  They ignored the Prophets. They ignored the priests. They ignored the Word of God. And, they kept doing wicked and evil things.

Jeremiah 7:13 (NLT2)

13  While you were doing these wicked things, says the LORD, I spoke to you about it repeatedly, but you would not listen. I called out to you, but you refused to answer.  

But – here is where we are different from the Israelite people. If you have trusted Jesus as your Savior, God has written His commands on your heart.

Jeremiah 31:33 (NLT2)

33  “But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel on that day,” says the LORD. “I will put my instructions deep within them, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. 

This Covenant that God made with mankind is for all those who have surrendered their lives to Jesus. If you have trusted Jesus as your Savior, God has put his instructions DEEP with you. He has written His Word on your heart. That’s why your perspective changed after you surrendered your life to Jesus. That’s why after you trusted Jesus as your Savior, your “want to” changed. And, it’s why some of your behavior changed immediately after you gave your life to Jesus. For example, I gave my life to Jesus on a Wednesday night.  During the day on Wednesday, almost every other word that came out of my mouth was “filth and foul.”  My Nana liked to say, “I cussed like a Sailor.”  

Then, I gave my life to Jesus on Wednesday night. On Thursday morning, when I arrived at the construction site for work and heard some of the other men cussing, it immediately repulsed me.  I hated to hear them curse and take the Lord’s name in vain. Why? Nobody had given me a list of words not to say…

I was offended because God had written his Right and Wrong Word on my heart. If you have believed that Jesus died on the cross and paid the price for your sin, if you have asked Jesus to forgive you, surrendered your life to him, and believe he rose from the dead and will one day return, then God has written His word on your heart, too!

Because God wants people to live clean lives, he changed their desires. He changed their “want to.” He wrote His word on their Hearts, giving you and I the ability to discern what is right and what is wrong. So, live clean because God has stamped TRUTH on your hearts.  Confess sin to him, and stop doing what you know is wrong, even if nobody has caught you, because YOU know its wrong.

And living clean doesn’t mean we only stop doing wrong; it also means we start doing right. That’s why every week I begin the sermon, I talk about the importance of applying God’s word to our lives. “Living Clean” means we stop doing evil and wicked things and begin doing right and pure things. We are promised that if…

IF WE READ AND APPLY GOD’S WORD WE WILL BE BLESSED

James 1:25 (NLT2)

25  But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. 

James doesn’t just tell people to stop DOING evil; he tells them to START doing what the Word of God that He has written inside our hearts tells us to do. God didn’t just want me to stop speaking filth and foul from my mouth, He wanted me to start using my mouth to speak his Word. He didn’t want me to be silent and say nothing; he wanted me to speak the truth to encourage, rebuke, and strengthen followers of Jesus. And God doesn’t want you just to stop certain behaviors you know are wrong; he wants you to begin doing what is right. And, when you begin doing what is right, God will bless you for doing it. God has saved you FROM Something, FOR something.

God has a purpose for your life; his purpose is for you to live your life to glorify Him.  To make a big deal with others about the goodness of God. God not only wants you to wash your hands, repent, and turn away from sin, but he wants you to begin living for him and doing what is right.  And, as you do what is right, He will bless you for doing it. So, I think it is easy for us to know the behaviors we need to stop doing.

We know lying is a sin, so we stop lying. We know stealing is a sin, so we stop stealing. We know murder is a sin, so we refuse to take the life of others, even in anger. We know dishonoring our parents is a sin, so we strive to honor them. We know gossip is a sin, so we refuse to gossip about our lying, stealing, murderous HOA’s.

But – it is hard sometimes to know precisely what God wants us to begin doing. So, James provides them with very practical advice:

CARE FOR WIDOWS AND ORPHANS IN DISTRESS

James 1:27 (NLT2)

27  Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. 

The important part of this verse is the prepositional phrase that follows “widows and orphans.”  James told these followers of Jesus to care for widows and orphans “in their distress.”

When is a widow distressed? When she is grieving the loss of their spouse, they are crushed. They are hurting. They have lost their husband or wife of 30,40, or 50 years.  They feel alone and in distress.

I love that we have a group of Widows in our church that gather monthly and support one another. And I love that they have decided to come alongside a brand-new ministry we are launching this weekend that cares for orphans when they are distressed!

South Carolina released statistics for 2023.  In 2023, there were 7,000 children in Foster Care. 14,000 verified cases of abuse or neglect.  And 80% of the victims are children under the age of twelve.

These children are in distress. I know what it is like to be a child in distress.  

I know what it is like to be removed from my home and placed in foster care.  I know what it is like to be separated from my family, pulled away from my brothers and sisters, and cry myself to sleep at night. And I am grateful that our widows ministry has decided to help create a Foster Care ministry that cares for children when they are pulled from their homes and are in distress.

They will be an example of what a few people who choose to do right can do to care for other people. And you do not have to be widowed to join them! Very practically, here are four things you can do to care for orphans in their distress:

• BECOME A FOSTER PARENT OR SUPPORT FOSTER FAMILIES

• ADOPT A CHILD

• DONATE ITEMS FOR FOSTER CARE CLOSET

• PRAY!

Some of you may sense you are being led by the Lord to become a foster parent or possibly support foster families.  The steps to fostering a child are larger than I can share, but I am grateful that our Foster Care ministry will help you understand how to come alongside and support those families who have chosen to foster and adopt children.

Fostering is one of the hardest and best things a person can do.  It’s hard because you love and care for the children that have been placed with you, but it’s hard when they are reunited with their parents because a piece of your heart goes with them.

And, maybe you sense the Lord leading you to adopt a child. Again, there are legal details for adopting a child.  You can’t walk over to our children’s ministry and begin selecting a child. But if you do sense the Lord leading you, adopt, search South Carolina laws, and take initiative. Or, maybe you can DONATE items for our foster care closet.

Here is the list:

• Bags- to keep, a backpack or overnight bag, new or gently used. 

• Hygiene kits:

• Tooth brush

• Tooth paste

• Brush

• Body wash

• Deodorant

• Pads (feminine products)

• Overnight needs:

• Pajamas

• Underwear

• Socks

• Diapers/wipes (various sizes, not just newborns, prefer larger sizes)

• Shoes

• Pull ups

• Special items:

• Blanket (Blanket ministry may provide)

• Stuffed animal 

• Journal with Pens

• Lice Kits/Bed bug treatment

• Pillows and pillow cases 

• Twin sheets

• Walmart or Target gift cards

Each new placement bag will have a personal note with scripture provided by the widow's group for encouragement. 

The Foster closet will be maintained weekly by the Widow’s ministry.  A key person will be notified of the number of children, ages, sizes, and specific needs and will drop it off at the door for the family.

And finally, pray.

Pray for children in distress. Pray for Parents who are making mistakes. Pray for children who feel isolated, abandoned, who are neglected and alone. Pray that the need for a Foster Care Closet will end, and pray that God will use you to care for children who are in need of loving families.

James - Faith and Endurance

The author of James was the half-brother to Jesus and the pastor of the first Church in Jerusalem. James grew up alongside Jesus.  James was the son of Mary and the son of Joseph.  And he was the half-brother because he had a different Father. Joseph was the father of James….and God was the father of Jesus.  That makes Jesus and James half-brothers.  James was present during much of the ministry of Jesus, and no doubt his heart was crushed with grief when his brother was betrayed by Judas, arrested, mauled, and tortured to death on the cross. 

And no doubt, James became a believer that Jesus was the Son of God when Jesus rose from the dead, appeared to his disciples for over forty days, then ascended into heaven.

James knew many of the apostles because they were friends of Jesus.  James knew Peter, Matthew, Mark, Bartholomew, John, and the rest.  And after Jesus ascended into heaven, James was filled with the Holy Spirit - and possibly because he was the half-brother of Jesus – he became the Pastor of the first group of believers in Jerusalem.

The first group of believers started around 120 people…

Acts 1:15 (NLT2) 

15  During this time, when about 120 believers were together in one place, Peter stood up and addressed them. 

Then – as those 120 believers began loving their neighbor as themselves – they began leading others to a life-changing relationship with Jesus, and the church began to rapidly grow. We see this growth throughout the first several chapters of the Book of Acts.

Acts 2:41 (NLT2) 

41  Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day—about 3,000 in all. 

So, after Peter’s first sermon, at least 2,880 people surrendered their lives to Jesus.  And now, 3,000 people were loving their neighbor as they loved themselves.  

They were living with joy.  

They were serving one another.  

They cared for each other. 

They sacrificed for each other.  

We see how they lived in Acts 2:44-47.

Acts 2:44-47 (NLT2)

44  And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. 45  They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. 46  They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity— 47  all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved. 

They shared EVERYTHING with other believers.

They shared their property.,

They shared their homes.

They shared their meals.

They shared their money.

They were selfless, giving, and cared for others. And because of their generous lifestyle, every single day, people wanted what these people had and became believers in Jesus. Then, Peter preached another message…

Acts 4:4 (NLT2)

4  But many of the people who heard their message believed it, so the number of believers now totaled about 5,000 men, not counting women and children. 

Most men were married in this region.  Most families averaged 4-6 children.  That means this first church had at least 20,000 people who were followers of Christ, and historians tell us that James was their Pastor. And – the church continued to grow!

Acts 5:14 (NLT2)

14  Yet more and more people believed and were brought to the Lord—crowds of both men and women. 

And it kept growing!

Acts 6:7 (NLT2)

7  So God’s message continued to spread. The number of believers greatly increased in Jerusalem, and many of the Jewish priests were converted, too. 

Now, even the Jewish priests saw the change in the lives of the people and surrendered their lives to Jesus. The first church was characterized by their love and care for one another, and their joy and faith. It was an amazing, breathtaking, unstoppable wave of people trusting in Jesus and receiving forgiveness for their sins. 

They were on fire for the Lord.

These new believers wanted to do nothing except live for Jesus, and nothing stood in the way of the good news of Jesus spreading into the furthest corners of the world.

But then…

The already defeated Satan devised a plan to attack the church.  He began blinding the minds of unbelievers.

2 Corinthians 4:4 (NLT2)

4  Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God. 

And, the devil began whispering into the minds of non-believing Priests and religious leaders  to take their traditions back by:

Attacking, killing, and persecuting those who believed in Jesus. In Acts 6, a follower of Jesus named Stephen was speaking to the Jewish Priests and, beginning with Abraham, taught them Jesus was the Messiah the prophets said would come. But this time, rather than trusting Jesus as their Savior, the Jewish Leaders rushed at Stephen and began to throw rocks at him to kill him.

Acts 7:59-8:1 (NLT2)

59 As they stoned him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 He fell to his knees, shouting, “Lord, don’t charge them with this sin!” And with that, he died. 1 Saul was one of the witnesses, and he agreed completely with the killing of Stephen. A great wave of persecution began that day, sweeping over the church in Jerusalem; and all the believers except the apostles were scattered through the regions of Judea and Samaria. 

The believers all ran away to escape persecution.  They saw the religious leaders stone Stephen to death.  They heard the cries of others as doors were kicked in and other believers were stoned and murdered. They were scattered throughout the region with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They ran for their lives. These caring, generous, loving people who willingly sold their property to bless others now ran for their lives.  And, as they settled into neighboring villages in the regions, churches began popping up.

And – fast forward about 15 years later. James, their former Pastor, wrote them a letter.

James 1:1 (NLT2) 

1  … I am writing to the “twelve tribes”—Jewish believers scattered abroad. Greetings! 

But throughout his letter, James doesn’t sound like he is describing followers of Jesus who were loving, caring, and generous. Listen to how James describes them in James 4:

James 4:1-3 (NLT2)

1  What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2  You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 3  And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. 

Rather than living by the resurrection power of Jesus the way they did in the first several chapters of Acts. Rather than going from house to house worshiping the Lord and living in harmony with one another…they had become cynical, bitter, and tyrants.

What happened?  Where did their love for other people go?

It is clear to me, that when they were persecuted and fled, rather than turning to the Lord and helping one another, over time, the adversity caused them to become bitter.The side-by-side characterizations of their lives is too ironic. Once, they had given away all of their possessions, but now, they wanted the stuff other people had, they were willing to fight to take it from them.

So, my advice:

REMAIN POSITIVE ABOUT ADVERSITY; VIEW IT AS GROWTH

James 1:2-4 (NLT2) 

2  Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. 

You and I will experience adversity in our faith as followers of Jesus.  And how we handle adversity will determine who we become in the future. You may be filled with joy, generosity, and kindness and go out of your way to care for others now.  But will you do it after you have faced difficulty, hardships, and persecution?

These followers of Jesus were filled with joy when they fled, but adversity caused them to become mean, crusty, and rude. Many of us can probably think of an individual who once followed Jesus with great joy – but now their faith seems more like a shell of who they used to be. They have become bitter, mean, and jaded. And I bet if we looked real closely, somewhere along the line, a professed follower of Jesus hurt them.

At some point, the adversity they faced became so difficult they became bitter. And, you may be faced with something similar today.  So, I want you to view the adversity you are experiencing in your life today as an opportunity for growth.

When you forgive others, you grow and become more like Jesus. When you turn the other cheek, you grow and become more like Jesus. When you return words of insult with words of blessing, you grow more like Jesus. As a follower of Jesus, you will either grow to become more like Jesus or drift and become more like the person you used to be.  If you remain positive about adversity and see it as an opportunity to grow and become more like Jesus, you will live a blessed life. If you are a follower of Jesus today, you are growing…but…

NOT ALL GROWTH IS HEALTHY; BEWARE SEEDS OF BITTERNESS

Over the 15 years these believers were scattered, I think there was one nagging thought that troubled them and grew into a root of bitterness. I think they regretted giving away their possessions, selling their homes, and giving away their money to people with needs.  Once the moment of persecution began for them and they were scattered, they did not have anybody to turn to help them out.

I bet they thought, “Why did I give all my stuff away?  Now I have nothing.  I should not have been so generous.”  

And initially, that thought of regret could be dismissed.  But as time passed, the root of bitterness grew deep into their mind and corrupted their faith in Jesus. Now, rather than seeking to bless others, they wanted to be blessed by others.  They wanted to take rather than give, they regretted being generous and had become greedy. And, you and I need to make sure that as we grow as followers of Jesus, we beware of any seeds of bitterness that we might carry with us.

Do you carry seeds of bitterness in your heart?

Seeds of favoritism.  

Seeds of Gossip.  

Seeds of unchecked anger.  

Seeds of laziness.  

Seeds of division.

Seeds of grumbling.  

Seeds of complaining.  

Seeds of insecurity.  

Seeds of worry.  

Seeds of doubt. 

Seeds of mistrust.  

If you read the full chapter of Hebrews 12, you will see that the Author of Hebrews is discussing the discipline of God.  10 times in 7 verses, the word Paideia (Pie-DAY-uh) is used to talk about obeying the correction of God.

These formerly generous followers of Jesus stopped listening to the Holy Spirit’s guidance in their lives, refused to receive correction, and grew into bitter, crusty people. So beware, because if you and I fail to listen to the Holy Spirit and receive correction in our lives when we stray from God’s path to follow our own, roots of bitterness will begin to grow. And, James told the believers how they could get back on track to become devoted followers of Jesus.  James writes:

James 4:8-10 (NLT2) 

8  Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 9  Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter and gloom instead of joy. 10  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor. 

James tells us that…

HUMILITY AND OBEDIENCE LEAD TO GOD’S PROTECTION

We prevent growing bitter and seek to remain humble. We trust in the promise that God will draw near to those who are humble and draw near to him.

Humility was the attitude of the first believers before they were persecuted - and it seems that humility is what was lacking 15 years later.  If a person is truly humble, they are constantly receiving correction and discipline from the Lord – because whom the Lord loves, he disciplines. You overflowed with Joy when you first trusted Jesus as your Savior because you had been humble, confessed your sin, and God came near you.

You overflowed with joy. If somebody hurt you with their words or actions, you were quick to forgive because you had been forgiven for your sins. So, continue to be humble and walk obediently with the Lord.  Allow the word of God to be a light to your feet and a lamp to your path. Keep loving others and leading them to a life-changing relationship with Jesus.

When I Said I Do - Till Death Do Us Part

So, over the last 5 weeks, we have been looking at the traditional wedding vows that a man and woman make before they are joined together in marriage as husband and wife.

Last week, we looked at “Forsaking all Others,” and today, we are going to talk about the promise we made to our spouse to remain married “Till death do us part.”

The Bond of Marriage is POWERFUL. 

Aside from the bond created when you surrender your life to Jesus, there is no other bond in this human life as powerful and strong as marriage.  Marriage is more than a give-and-take relationship.  It is more than a promise…

MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT, NOT A CONTRACT

Marriage is not a casual commitment. The day you and your spouse chose to get married, you chose each other for the rest of your lives. When you said, “I Do,” and you slipped that ring on the finger of your spouse, you became responsible for more than just you.   

You became responsible to…

“Love and cherish” somebody else. 

“In good times and in bad.”

“In sickness and in health”

“To forsake all others.”

And God – who created and designed marriage, designed marriage to be for the “rest of your life.”

Marriage is such a huge decision that Paul tells followers of Jesus they are better off remaining single and not getting married…

So, all you single people – think twice about getting married. Listen to what Paul writes.

1 Corinthians 7:32-40 (NLT2) 

32  I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33  But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34  His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.  39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. 

When you were a single follower of Jesus – you could go anywhere and do anything you wanted to tell people about Jesus. After I became a follower of Jesus in 1991. That is after I understood that I was a sinner living in rebellion against God. After I confessed to God that I was a sinner, and I thanked Jesus for paying the price for my sin so I would not have to. After I surrendered my life to God and received Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior and experienced the life-changing power of forgiveness through faith in Jesus…

All I wanted to do was please Jesus.  

I worked in construction and believed that God had placed me there as a new believer to show them Jesus. Three years later, I packed up all my belongings in a big black trash bag and moved seven hours away to Columbus, Ohio, to volunteer at a new church that was trying to reach people. I worked for the church for no money. I could never have done that if I was married!

And, when we married in 1999 - I agreed that I would no longer live for myself. From now on, responsibility no longer stopped at Me and God. It was now me and God and Kristy.  

CONTRACT VS COVENANT

A Contract is between two parties: one man and one woman. But the Marriage Covenant is between three parties: one man, one woman, and God. A contract could be between two businesses, two men, two women, two churches, two anybody…

But Paul describes the Covenant of Marriage in 1 Corinthians 7. The Covenant of Marriage is between one man, one woman, and God. The pronouns Paul uses in that passage are HE and SHE.  Male and Female. Husband and Wife.  This was contrary to Greco-Roman Culture at the time, and it is still contrary to culture today.  The truth is, God designed men and women to get married. They fit together physically, mentally, and emotionally.  

A second difference between a contract and a covenant is the service concept.  

In a contract, the attitude is simple: YOU serve.  

In a covenant, the attitude is: WE serve.

A contract is broken when one party does not live up to the agreement to serve the other party. For example, if two companies have a contract to merge, but one company fails to meet its contractual obligations, the relationship ends. One party failed to serve the other party.

But in the Covenant of marriage, the attitude is to serve together. 

To serve one another. 

To serve God.

To serve inside the church. 

To serve in the community.  

To serve all you can to reflect God’s grace in a broken world, to your family, together. Our attitude changes from a “YOU serve me” to “WE serve each other and God together”

If your attitude toward your spouse is that they are there to serve you – you have a very difficult road ahead of you. Rather than “Till death do us Part,” your marriage is going to feel more like a death sentence.

The truth is that we will fail in our duty to serve one another and get selfish sometimes…but that leads me to the final point I want you to write down about a Covenant.

In a contract, wrongs are weaponized.  In a covenant, wrongs are forgiven

I screw up all the time in our marriage.  So does Kristy.  But we choose to forgive wrongs, not weaponize wrongs.  When you weaponize a wrong, you never let them forget how they failed you. You drag it out for years and years.  You bring it up just to zing them and make them feel bad.

You often say something like:

Remember the time you…

Or 

You always do that…

When you weaponize wrongs in your marriage, you are functioning with more of a CONTRACT mindset than a COVENANT mindset. But when you FORGIVE wrongs, you ELEVATE God's role in your marriage. Think about it.

Forgiveness is the heart of the Covenant God made with you, and forgiveness is the heart of the Covenant you made with your spouse. When you forgive, you recognize that God is more than the beginning, middle, and end of your Covenant. God is not just the center of your marriage –forgiveness must saturate every square inch of your marriage. Without covenant forgiveness, your marriage will be miserable till you die or till you divorce. And let me encourage you…

THINK DEATH NOT DIVORCE

If, in the back of your mind, you have set aside divorce as an option, if things get tough, you are not going to work as hard to forgive and overcome obstacles and challenges together.  You will not practice forgiveness the way God compels us to forgive. But if you recognize death is God’s only way to end a marriage, you will forgive wrongs because you are in this until death. 

You will serve together, because you are in this till death.  

You will Love and Cherish one another, because you are in this till death.  

You will forsake all others, because you are in this till death.  

Now might be a good time to remind you that murder is a sin. It is against the law and punishable by death.

If you view Divorce as an option…the amount of energy and devotion you produce may not be as strong as those who see DEATH as the only way to break the marriage Covenant. We talked about divorce last week. I encourage you to go back and watch the sermon.  There are two biblical allowances for divorce…and one I think is common sense.

1. Affair

2. Abandonment

3. Abuse

Affair: If your spouse is engaging in sexual activity with somebody else, the Bible allows for you to divorce them.  But if you are able to forgive them, I encourage you to do so.

Abandonment: If your spouse packs up, leaves, and wants nothing to do with you…you are no longer bound to that spouse. But if you can forgive them and hold out hope for their return, that’s better.

Abuse: If your spouse abuses you or your children (sexually or physically), you do not have to feel guilt or shame about seeking a divorce.  I do not encourage you to forgive them over and over. Get out.

Now, if you still view divorce as an option, here are some reasons why God does not permit divorce:

Your spouse hurt your feelings

Did not support you.

Laughed at you instead of with you.

Burned dinner.

Did not fold the laundry. 

Passes gas under the blankets.

Leaves facial hair in the sink.

Burns the house down.

Or leaves the tank in the car empty again…

God does not permit divorce if you marry a lazy, good-for-nothing person. Think Death, not Divorce!  Again, murder is a sin and a crime punishable by law.

TWO DETERMINED MINDS CAN LEAVE A LEGACY.

Two determined minds can leave a legacy.  The more you and your spouse are determined to get better together in your marriage, the chances are that you are going to leave a godly legacy. Imagine that you model forgiveness, grace, service, and love in your marriage so well that your children grow up and model that in their marriage as well. Imagine you and your spouse beginning to serve as mentors for other young married couples in our church. By helping other married couples thrive, you will leave a godly legacy in God’s Kingdom and in another couple’s marriage.

I am firmly convinced that the more determined you and your spouse are to thrive in your marriage, the more you will confess your sins to one another, pray for one another, and encourage one another…and that your future family members will hold your marriage in high regard.

They may say things like: 

“I am so proud of your grandmother for not giving up on your granddaddy.”

“Your grandaddy always got a twinkle in his eye when he talked about your grandmother.”

Have the mindset that you will leave a Godly Legacy for your children and your grandchildren.  Think about the future – not just the present. Have the mindset that they will be able to see that you have a Christ-Centered, God Honoring, Grace saturated covenant with one another – and that even when things got difficult, divorce was never considered because divorce was never an option.

When I Said I Do - Forsaking All Others

Today, we are focusing on the vow – “Forsaking All Others.”

Imagine two young lovers.  They are followers of Jesus and have successfully abstained from sex throughout their dating and engagement period.  They both love the Lord and want to Honor him in their marriage and engagement. She longs for the wedding day.  She tries to find the perfect dress, the perfect location, the music, the flowers, the ceremony. 

He is not dreaming about her dress, the ceremony, or the songs. Guys, you know what he is thinking about.  When he says, “I do.” He means, “Let’s get busy.” The bride is convinced she is marrying Prince Charming.  

He will always be romantic. 

He will always rescue her.  

He will always cherish her.

The groom is convinced he is marrying an insatiable, passionate woman who will be willing anytime, day or night. It doesn’t take too long before she realizes he is no prince charming, and he realizes he couldn’t have been more wrong about her sexual appetite. Then the arguments begin.  The bickering back and forth begins.  They hurl hurtful words at each other and cut one another to the core. Being the follower of Jesus he is, he quotes the bible to her:

Proverbs 21:9 (HCSB) 

9  Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife. 

And she quotes right back to him…

1 Corinthians 13:11b (HCSB) 

…When I became a man, I put aside childish things.

And after a short period of time, they both begin to think, “I have made a mistake…Marriage is not supposed to be this hard.”

After getting counsel from friends, they decide to end the marriage before it even had a chance to get started. They both feel shell-shocked and numb.  They can’t put a finger on what exactly went wrong. Today, as we talk about “forsaking all others,” let’s remember the origin of Marriage.  

God is the one who created marriage. It was God’s idea for one man to marry one woman and forsake all others. After God had created Adam, he declared that it was not good that man was alone and would make him a wife.  Adam was made from the dirt, but Eve was made from one of Adam's ribs.

Let’s read:

Genesis 2:21-25 (NLT2) 

21  So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22  Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23  “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” 24  This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 25  Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. 

When a man and a woman marry, something spiritually, emotionally, and physically significant happens.  Two people make a covenant to remain in a God-Ordained, God Created Marriage. This isn’t a casual hookup or temporary living arrangements.  It is not a “let’s do it and let’s hope for the best.”  It is a TOTAL MESHING together of Two People into one. And since God made the two one, Jesus made it crystal clear. 

Matthew 19:6 (NLT2)

6  Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” 

You leave the past behind and go all-in with your spouse. No safety nets, no backup plans, no half-hearted efforts. No moving back in with Parents after the first fight. You become one flesh—spiritually, emotionally, physically. It’s you and your spouse fighting for one another, not you and your spouse when it’s convenient.

DON’T LET ‘THE D WORD’ POISON YOUR MARRIAGE

At some point very early on in our marriage, Kristy and I made a decision to treat the word, “Divorce” as though it were the most profane word in the English language.

We have argued, passionately, angrily, and heated, but we have never used the word Divorce.  In all things we have said that we do not mean…we have never used the “D-Word” in our arguing. My advice to you, whether you are in your first marriage or your third, don’t let the D-word poison your marriage.

Once you begin throwing that word around, the poison will contaminate everything it touches.  That word will poison your imagination, it will poison your dreams, it will poison your future, and it will try to divide into two what God has joined together as one. And, divorce is a sin but God has allowed…

THREE EXCEPTIONS: AFFAIR, ABANDONMENT, ABUSE

You made a covenant with your spouse to forsake all others – and if your spouse has broken their covenant with you by having an affair, God declares that divorce is no longer a sin.

The same God who said:

Exodus 20:14 (NLT2) 

14  “You must not commit adultery. 

Matthew 5:32 (NLT2) 

32  But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. 

If your spouse has broken the covenant by sleeping with another person, divorce is an option, but you can also choose to reconcile and forgive them. The second-place divorce is not considered a sin is in areas of abandonment. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7.

1 Corinthians 7:15 (NLT2) 

15  (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) 

If you are married to an unbelieving spouse, and they abandon you, it is not a sin to divorce them.  But, you can still choose to wait for them, reconcile with them, and forgive them. But regarding divorce, abuse is not clearly given as an exception.  

There is no place in scripture that permits divorce in areas of abuse, so why did I put it in here?

Look at the end of verse 1 Cor. 7:15…the reason a spouse can divorce if they have been abandoned is because God has called you to live in peace.  If your spouse is abusing you or your children, you do not have peace.  

I watched my dad swing my mom around the living room by the hair on her head while he was in a drunken rage.  If you remain in a marriage where physical abuse is occurring, you are perpetuating a cycle of violence that your children will accept as normal. So – get out. Call the police.  Press charges.  Take photographs.  

And, because divorce is such a difficult journey, seek reconciliation and work hard to win trust and the heart of your spouse back again.   You DO NOT have to settle for the solution of divorce or remaining in a marriage without joy. The story I opened with about the young bride and groom could have been Kristy’s and my story.  

Our first two years of marriage were terribly difficult.  I was a youth pastor.  She was a Youth pastor’s wife.  Outside, we looked fine.  We went to church.  We led bible studies.  We went on mission trips. But behind the scenes, we bickered.  We argued.  We hurled mean words at each other.  She would call me an idiot. And under my breath, I would call her a %$#.  We were successful at hurting each other.

I would read Ephesians 5, where Paul writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands.”  I couldn’t figure out why she would not let me lead in public. When I made a decision in front of the students, she would second-guess it. While I was trying to lead, I felt like she was trying to undermine me. After all, Eph 5:23-24 could not be any clearer:

Ephesians 5:23-24 (NLT2) 

23  For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24  As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Kristy was not submitting to me.  She was not letting me lead.  After a couple of years of this – I couldn’t ignore the nagging voice in my mind that grew louder and louder, “I married the wrong person.” “I made a mistake.” “She doesn’t love Jesus enough…” And then God showed me that I was so focused on Kristy’s role that I had failed 100% to understand my role in Ephesians 5. First, I had missed completely Eph 5:21. 

Ephesians 5:21 (NLT2) 

21  And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

Paul taught throughout scripture that followers of Jesus ought to always practice mutual submission, set aside their own selfish desires, and live to serve others. Second, I had missed completely Eph 5:25

Ephesians 5:25 (NLT2) 

25  For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her…

Circle, “He gave up his life for her…”

See, God showed me his desire is not for me to lead but for me to give up my life for my wife. Husbands and wives, your marriage is not doomed to fail.

TO EXPERIENCE ONENESS, YOU MUST SURRENDER SELFISHNESS.

God’s design in marriage is that two people will become one. Therefore, oneness is the goal in every marriage.  Submitting to your husband and giving your life up for your wife is MUTUAL SUBMISSION TO ONENESS.  

Since I was a child, I have learned to take care of my own body. I learned to brush my teeth, wash my face, and try to look presentable when company comes over. I learned that my body needs to rest, exercise, and get sunlight in order to feel healthy. Ever since I can remember, I have taken care of myself. I eat to give my body energy and nourishment. I exercise to keep my body healthy. Nobody can force me to get up at a certain time, go to work, ride my bike, or be nice to others. I get to make decisions about what I do each and every day. It’s my body.

Until.  

The day Kristy and I married, I gave 100% authority over my body to my wife. That’s why I find my socks with her clothes. That’s why her fresh towel is used before she can use it. That’s why I sleep on the edge of the bed most nights.

1 Corinthians 7:4 (NLT2) 

4  The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 

Oneness is God’s plan for marriage.  For the husband, there is nothing in his life that is off-limits to his wife, and for the wife, there is nothing in her life that is off-limits to him. At any point at any time, my wife can pick up my phone, look through my text messages, calendar, emails, Facebook friends and messages, browser history trail… there is nothing in my life that is off-limits to my wife. And she has given me permission to pick up her phone and do the same.  Why? Because I have given authority of my body to my wife, and she has given the authority of her body to me. So, surrender to oneness.  

Take another look at the experience of Adam and Eve in Genesis.  

Genesis 2:25 (NLT2) 

25  Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. 

Adam and Eve were both naked and felt no shame.  So, as you lean into oneness, you and your spouse should…

BE NAKED (WITHOUT SHAME OR SECRETS.)

In Genesis, being "naked without shame" wasn’t simply regarding physical intimacy—though that’s definitely part of it, and we praise God for that. Adam and Eve had no pockets! They had no secrets stashed in closets or under their beds. Since sin had not yet entered the world, Adam and Eve were truthful and real with one another and held nothing back from their spouse. They were not controlled by fear, worry, or shame.  They loved one another and held nothing back.  So, be naked and empty out your pockets. Open up parts of your heart that are easy to hide.  Express the fears you keep buried and the hopes you hesitate to express.

God’s intention for marriage was not for two people pretending everything is perfect. 

It wasn’t two people living together but hiding the truth from one another. God intended you and your spouse to be vulnerable and transparent with each other. God gave us marriage so we could learn what it’s like to love unconditionally and to be loved unconditionally. 

So, if you’re holding something back—a fear, past mistake, or worry- I want to challenge you to share that with your spouse. Be naked, not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, without shame, without secrets.

“Forsaking all others” will change the course of your life. Forsaking all others means that I choose you—every day, in every moment, even when it's hard, even when I’m not feeling it. Forsaking all others means you keep the door closed when someone else—maybe a coworker or an old flame—comes knocking. It means that when you are tempted to look at something you shouldn’t, you remember that your eyes, heart, and body belong to your spouse. It means that you are choosing “us” over your selfish desires.

That’s the beauty of marriage. It’s the opportunity to live out God’s love story—sacrificing for one another, fighting for one another, giving grace when it’s not deserved, and standing by each other’s side until death do us part. So, if you’re here today and wondering if you married the wrong person, I want you to hear me. 

God can redeem anything. He can breathe new life into your marriage if you’re willing to fight for it. 

When I Said I Do - In Sickness & In Health

Today, we are focusing on the vow – “In sickness and in Health.”

A few months ago, I had one of the worst bouts of heartburn in my life. I typically take over-the-counter meds for it, but I had run out, and I kept forgetting to pick up more.  Rather than buying the meds, I would pop a Tums when I would feel the acid burning. Then, one night, the acid reflux was so bad that I woke up with my mouth watering and my skin clammy, and I’m not kidding; I thought I was going to die.

I got out of bed, and standing up made it worse.  I dug through the medicine cabinet, the closets, and under the bathroom sink.  I couldn’t find anything.

And the reflux kept getting worse.  I broke out into cold sweats. I was going to throw up. Sweating, I laid down on the Kitchen floor and pressed my face against the tile.  Believing I was dying, I yelled, “Help. Somebody, please help me.”

Kristy and the girls woke up and found me in my miserable state. At 1:30 in the morning, Kristy got in the car and drove to the gas station to pick up Rolaids and Omeprazole. Meanwhile, Jessie was wetting a rag and placing it on my forehead to help cool me down. After what felt like three hours, Kristy came home and brought Rolaids, Pepto, and Omeprazole, and I finally felt relief.

Being a man is tough, right? 

I’m not the only guy who’s been a little dramatic when feeling sick. Right guys?

Right? 

We can mow the yard, change the oil, and fix a flat tire, but when we get a bad case of the sniffles, we check our man card at the door, turn into little boys, and want our wives to be our mommas. When Adam and Eve chose to sin, and sin entered the world, it brought with it death, destruction, and disease. Sin gave birth to cancer, heart disease, aneurysms, blood clots, strokes, and heart attacks.

And when you made a covenant with your spouse, looked them in the eye, and said the lines, “in sickness and in health,” you made a covenant that you would continue to stay married to one another, no matter how bad their heartburn was.

Some interesting information I found is according to studies when one spouse is diagnosed with a serious illness, like cancer or another terminal condition, the chances of divorce actually increase. We think it would be the opposite.  If our spouse gets a terminal illness, that’s the opportunity to love them fiercely and help them…

But…

The divorce rate goes up. The stress, the emotional weight, the financial burden of medical bills, pharmacy prices, doctor care…

All the stress builds up, and marriages end.

And, men, here is something for us to get better at:

The divorce rate increases higher when the wife has been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. It’s not true in every situation, but women are most commonly the nurturers in the home. They are “motherly” to us when we are sick. And men often don’t know how to handle that role reversal. We are used to being the providers, the ones who are strong and when our wives get sick, we don’t always know how to step into the caregiver role.

This is why the vow 'In Sickness and in Health' becomes so important. It’s easy to say those words on your wedding day, but living them out is where the real challenge comes in. But the good news is if we read and apply God’s Word, he will change our lives. So let’s look at Romans 12:9-13 and see what applications we can make to help us remain committed to our spouse, “In sickness and in health.”

Romans 12:9-13 (NLT2) 

9  Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10  Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11  Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12  Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13  When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

I love the simplicity and plainspoken truth of verse 9.

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.”

Ready for a confession?  

Sometimes, it is easy for me as a Pastor to pretend to love other people. I enjoy standing in the lobby and connecting with people. But sometimes, my mind wanders, and I catch myself feeling like I am going through the motions instead of really loving them. When my mind wanders, I have to remind myself that the person I am speaking with is a child of God, that Jesus gave his life for them, and that the Spirit of the Lord loves them deeply. So, if your spouse is struggling with the flu, cancer, or the man cold, my first piece of advice is to…

LISTEN TO THEIR NEED, NOT WHAT YOU THINK THEY NEED

Listen to their need, not what you think they need. When we are caring for a sick loved one, we can be guilty of going through the motions without really loving them. It is easy to “pretend” to show love and give them the care we think they need rather than listening to them and giving them the care they really do need.

For instance, if your spouse has the flu and has spent 12 hours throwing up and clinging to the commode, they really don’t want to eat anything you have cooked. Even if it is your homemade, fresh-baked, secret recipe.  Food is not going to help them feel better. They need rest. Fluids. And Sleep. And, if they are a man, they need lots of pity.

If you really love them and they tell you they do not want anything to eat, believe them. Or, if your spouse has a tremendous migraine and they tell you they do not want to go out for dinner, do not want to watch a show, or do not want to go for a walk, believe them. Let them rest and give them the space they need. Remember, when your spouse is sick, they still love you, but…they are sick. They need time to recuperate, so make sure while they are sick that you listen to their need, not what you think they need. Now, that step is for sicknesses like the cold, flu, or broken bones.  Eventually our bodies will heal and recover. 

However, there are frightening diagnoses that are life-threatening. Those life-threatening diseases that we face in life are opportunities for you to love your spouse with a deeper love than you know is possible. Men, this is where we need to dig-deep.  We are used to our wives being the nurturing one – but it is in these times we must dig deep and love like Jesus does.  

By God’s design, women are more nurturing, more compassionate, and more caring than we are.  God designed Mother’s to protect, nourish, and care for their children in ways that a male cannot…and…men have a tendency to be the protector. When men can’t protect our spouse from a terminal illness, we can run. We feel powerless, and apart from digging deep and showing real love, we are. So I encourage you to lead in your family through a complete surrender to the Lord. Ask the Lord to help you care for your spouse and meet their needs.

Trust Him.  Remain faithful. And when it it gets hard:

FIND WAYS TO LAUGH, EVEN WHEN IT’S HARD

Romans 12:10 (NLT2)

10  Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

As you love each other with genuine affection that is not forced, not faked, look for ways to laugh with one another to keep joy stirring in your own heart, the heart of your spouse, and in your children. Life is hard enough, and when we face a life-threatening disease, we must dig deep and laugh often.  Now, I’m not a big “laugher.”  I am one of those annoying guys in the group. When something is funny, I say, “That’s funny.”  

Instead of laughing.  Instead of smiling.  I say, “That’s funny.” Isn’t that annoying?

But when I am around the laughers, I get tickled. Not around the people with the polite social laughs but the laughers who are genuine and contagious.  Those laughers bring joy to other people.

As I prepared for this message, I knew I could go in a couple of directions.  I could go deep into the painful but redemptive stories of those who lost their spouses because of illness.  Or, I could emphasize the lighter side of sickness.

So, what I have tried to do is balance the two. Several weeks ago, as I prepared this message, I read story after story of marriages that experienced cancer, treatments, and death.  The stories broke my heart. But I saw one common element in all the stories I read: the person who was sick doesn’t want their sickness to bring their families down. When they faced a life-changing diagnosis, they still wanted to laugh.  They were depressed, but they didn’t want their diagnosis to bring everybody down around them. And, your laughter will help your spouse and your family cling to joy, hope, and not be caught up in the sadness that a scary diagnosis can bring.

So – listen to the comedy genius of “Jim Gaffigan” or “Tim Hawkins.”  Watch some movies that are guaranteed to make you laugh.  Learn to tell jokes – and get the delivery and timing down. Find ways to laugh, even when it’s hard. Along those lines, I encourage you to:

CREATE A GRATITUDE LIST, AND MAKE IT VISIBLE

Romans 12:12 (NLT2) 

12  Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

As you rejoice in your confident hope, make a list of all the things you and your family have to be thankful for. Buy chalkboard paint and chalk and dedicate a wall in your home for all the things you are thankful for.  Let it be visible, and when you pass it, stop and read through it. Go over it, and over it. And every time you pass it, let it sink in of all the things you are grateful for in your life. And my final piece of advice is when caring for a spouse who is sick – especially caring for one who has been sick for a while…

TOUCH FOR COMFORT, NOT JUST ROMANCE

Touch each other for comfort, not romance. That means when you offer to rub their back, it is only a back-rub. Your spouse loves you.  They want to be romantic with you – but when they are sick they don’t feel like themselves

Paul said:

Romans 12:12-13 (NLT2) 

12  Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13  When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Be confident in your hope in Jesus.  Be patient.  Keep on praying for your spouse.  When they are sick, they are in need – so be ready to help them…and practice hospitality to your spouse. The Covenant “In sickness and in health” is our opportunity to demonstrate hospitality to our spouse.  We accommodate our behavior for them and accommodate our needs for their needs because we love them…

Next week we are going to look at the vow we remember the most, “Forsaking all Others.”