Beach Life - Transparent Living

Throughout this “Beach Life” series, we will explore Jesus' mission and values and how he calls us to follow him and make his mission and values our own. We kicked off this series by discussing Beach Church's mission. Our mission is to lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus. Our Mission answers the question of " why” we exist, and our Guiding Values answer the question of " how” we fulfill our mission.

We could gather every weekend for worship, distribute food to 500 families every week, go on mission trips, have life groups, and have a ministry for children with special needs, but without our guiding values, we would not be leading people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus.

The Bible tells us without love, we are nothing.

Our Guiding Values, shaped by the love of Jesus demonstrated while he lived on earth, will help us fulfill our mission.

The Values are:

1. Life-Changing Truth

2. Transparent Living

3. Captivating Celebration

4. Uncomfortable Grace

5. Selfless Service

Today, we are going to talk about our second guiding value, 

Transparent Living

GOD DESIRES US TO BE REAL, OPEN, AND HONEST ABOUT WHO WE ARE AND ALLOW OTHERS TO DO THE SAME. 

Because we love one another, you can be the real you at Beach Church. Because we love one another, I am allowed to be a real Pastor, a real person, a real husband, and a real daddy.  You do not have to pretend to be perfect.

Maybe you grew up in a church that practiced “privacy” rather than “transparency.”  Maybe you were encouraged not to talk about real life and real problems at church. Maybe your experience was to sing from a Hymnal, listen quietly to the sermon, and leave just at the end of the last song to get to the restaurant first. 

Maybe your experience in church has leaned toward “pretending to be perfect.”

Because we love one another, you get to be real, open and honest about who you are – AND you allow others to do the same. If I get to be transparent,  if you get to be transparent, then others are allowed to be transparent, too. Because followers of Jesus love each other, we all get to be who we really are during the week. When you come to church, it's okay if you wear mismatched socks, have baby vomit on your shirt, and toothpaste on your chin.

The apostle John describes transparent living and some amazing benefits when followers of Jesus live transparently with one another.

Let’s read:

1 John 1:7-9 (NLT2) 

7  But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. 8  If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 9  But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 

First, John is writing to believers in Jesus. He describes what happens when believers in Jesus are serious about living in the light and following Jesus. If you have surrendered your life to Jesus, you are living in the light. But you didn’t always live in the light. Before you surrendered to Jesus, you lived in darkness. I did too.

And, there is a vast difference between living in darkness and the light. Thanks to the light outside, every one of us followed a predictable pattern when we arrived on our campus this morning.  

You parked your car. You and your crew got out of your car. You walked through the parking lot. You entered the lobby. Maybe you stopped to use the restroom. Maybe you picked up a cup of coffee. Then, you finally entered the worship center and sat in your seat. I imagine you will do that in reverse when it is time to leave.

Getting into the building and making your way to the seat wasn't difficult because you were “living in the light.”

However, imagine that after parking the car, your crew put blindfolds on and attempted to make it into the worship center.  Just simply finding the entrance would be hard enough. Obstacles of parked cars, moving cars, bushes, and steps would make it difficult for you to enter the worship center. Some of us would still be wandering around outside. In the same way, a lack of transparency creates an obstacle for you to really experience “fellowship” with God and with other believers. The word fellowship communicates a deep intimacy with other believers. It suggests an “exchange” of lives with one another.

“Exchanging” means giving and receiving. When believers share their burdens with each other, they live in the light of Jesus. They are living in community with each other. Living in the light and fellowship means sharing the burden, which goes both ways. Others share their wins and sins with you, and you share your wins and sins with them. You may not have a problem with people sharing their real lives with you, but you may struggle to open up to others.

Maybe you aren’t sure what others would think about you if they knew what you really struggled with, so you remain private.  You listen to others but do not share your life with them. Maybe you smile and nod and tell people everything is okay, but your heart cries out for somebody to listen to you. Maybe you don’t tell others about the struggle you are having with sin at work or with your family. Many of us sometimes pretend everything is ok when everything is not ok.

You might think, “If people knew the real me, they wouldn’t like me.”

The truth is, transparent living is hard.  

Transparent Living means we are vulnerable with others

1 John 1:8 (NLT2) 

8  If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth.

Being open and honest about who you are means you are vulnerable.

And, when we are vulnerable, we can be hurt.  

When we are vulnerable to others, we can be rejected.  

When we are vulnerable, we give people power with areas of our lives we keep secret for a reason.

And, if other people view you as a leader, vulnerability is even more difficult.

You are the leader in your family, and your family looks to you for protection and provision.

You are the leader at work, and your coworkers turn to you for advice and solutions.

You are a leader in your neighborhood, and your neighbors may bring their complaints to you to solve them.

You are a leader in your life group, and people look up to you as a role model…

You may be tempted to think, “I can’t live transparently because people expect me to be strong.”

If I am vulnerable, people will turn on me. 

If I am vulnerable, people will reject me. 

If I am vulnerable, others will think I am too weak to lead and find another leader.

If I am vulnerable with my spouse, they will find somebody else.

If I am vulnerable with my children, they won’t respect me.

If I am vulnerable at work, I will never get that promotion.

That is not true. For example, let's look at Animal Kingdom:

In the animal kingdom, every ‘pack’ has a leader guiding them through life. 

Wolves have a pack leader. Lions have a den leader. Orangutans have leaders.

The pack leader keeps the pack safe and provides solutions to the dangers they may face. We may be tempted to think that if a pack leader demonstrates vulnerability, the pack will reject them and find a new leader. We can learn some lessons about the power of vulnerability from animals!

When the leader of the pack demonstrates appropriate vulnerability, amazing things happen inside the community:

• The leader becomes more relatable.

• The leader’s vulnerability reduces tension, which leads to less conflict and stabilizes the pack.

• The leader's vulnerability helps promote and develop future leaders of the pack.

• In situations of potential conflict within the pack, leaders who show vulnerability de-escalate tension and preserve strength for the critical battles the pack faces with other packs.

Pack leaders who show appropriate vulnerability enhance the entire pack's survival and success!

The lesson: When followers of Jesus lead with transparency and demonstrate vulnerability, the entire church is strengthened. Sharing our weaknesses makes us stronger!

Paul, a Christian leader, said:

2 Corinthians 12:10 (NLT2) 

10  That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So, trust others. Be vulnerable. Because,

Confessing our sins, our wins, and our struggles develops fellowship. 

We develop genuine, meaningful friendships when we confess our sins, wins, and struggles to one another. If you have been attending church for a while and still feel like you do not know people, you are probably correct.  

If you love the worship and are engaged with the message but are still missing friendships with other believers, it may be because you have not yet taken the initiative to join a life group or serve on a ministry team.

Transparent Living does not mean everybody in the church knows you. The power of transparent living is best experienced in the context of a life group.  

A life group commits to confidentiality, exchanges life experiences with each other and develops meaningful friendships. But from time to time, some stories must be told churchwide. Sometimes, stories of triumph and victory must be captured and shared with the church to strengthen the whole church.

I believe one such story is the story of Stephen and Mary Boyd. For years, they struggled with infertility. They prayed to conceive a baby. They desired to be parents, - but spent a long season in the valley of disappointment and struggle.

Here is their story:

When God works in our lives, the stories must be shared. Some share the story of God’s work in their lives through baptism. Some share their stories in lifegroups. And sometimes, stories need to be shared with the church.

This is because,

Transparent Living leads to freedom!

When real connections are made, we live in freedom. When real friendships are made, we live in freedom. We can confess our sins, our victories, and our journey as followers of Jesus—and that type of living leads to freedom! You can be free to be the real you.  

Transparent Living invites us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, to live in freedom with each other, and continues to help us lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus.