When I Said I Do - Till Death Do Us Part

So, over the last 5 weeks, we have been looking at the traditional wedding vows that a man and woman make before they are joined together in marriage as husband and wife.

Last week, we looked at “Forsaking all Others,” and today, we are going to talk about the promise we made to our spouse to remain married “Till death do us part.”

The Bond of Marriage is POWERFUL. 

Aside from the bond created when you surrender your life to Jesus, there is no other bond in this human life as powerful and strong as marriage.  Marriage is more than a give-and-take relationship.  It is more than a promise…

MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT, NOT A CONTRACT

Marriage is not a casual commitment. The day you and your spouse chose to get married, you chose each other for the rest of your lives. When you said, “I Do,” and you slipped that ring on the finger of your spouse, you became responsible for more than just you.   

You became responsible to…

“Love and cherish” somebody else. 

“In good times and in bad.”

“In sickness and in health”

“To forsake all others.”

And God – who created and designed marriage, designed marriage to be for the “rest of your life.”

Marriage is such a huge decision that Paul tells followers of Jesus they are better off remaining single and not getting married…

So, all you single people – think twice about getting married. Listen to what Paul writes.

1 Corinthians 7:32-40 (NLT2) 

32  I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33  But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34  His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.  39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. 

When you were a single follower of Jesus – you could go anywhere and do anything you wanted to tell people about Jesus. After I became a follower of Jesus in 1991. That is after I understood that I was a sinner living in rebellion against God. After I confessed to God that I was a sinner, and I thanked Jesus for paying the price for my sin so I would not have to. After I surrendered my life to God and received Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior and experienced the life-changing power of forgiveness through faith in Jesus…

All I wanted to do was please Jesus.  

I worked in construction and believed that God had placed me there as a new believer to show them Jesus. Three years later, I packed up all my belongings in a big black trash bag and moved seven hours away to Columbus, Ohio, to volunteer at a new church that was trying to reach people. I worked for the church for no money. I could never have done that if I was married!

And, when we married in 1999 - I agreed that I would no longer live for myself. From now on, responsibility no longer stopped at Me and God. It was now me and God and Kristy.  

CONTRACT VS COVENANT

A Contract is between two parties: one man and one woman. But the Marriage Covenant is between three parties: one man, one woman, and God. A contract could be between two businesses, two men, two women, two churches, two anybody…

But Paul describes the Covenant of Marriage in 1 Corinthians 7. The Covenant of Marriage is between one man, one woman, and God. The pronouns Paul uses in that passage are HE and SHE.  Male and Female. Husband and Wife.  This was contrary to Greco-Roman Culture at the time, and it is still contrary to culture today.  The truth is, God designed men and women to get married. They fit together physically, mentally, and emotionally.  

A second difference between a contract and a covenant is the service concept.  

In a contract, the attitude is simple: YOU serve.  

In a covenant, the attitude is: WE serve.

A contract is broken when one party does not live up to the agreement to serve the other party. For example, if two companies have a contract to merge, but one company fails to meet its contractual obligations, the relationship ends. One party failed to serve the other party.

But in the Covenant of marriage, the attitude is to serve together. 

To serve one another. 

To serve God.

To serve inside the church. 

To serve in the community.  

To serve all you can to reflect God’s grace in a broken world, to your family, together. Our attitude changes from a “YOU serve me” to “WE serve each other and God together”

If your attitude toward your spouse is that they are there to serve you – you have a very difficult road ahead of you. Rather than “Till death do us Part,” your marriage is going to feel more like a death sentence.

The truth is that we will fail in our duty to serve one another and get selfish sometimes…but that leads me to the final point I want you to write down about a Covenant.

In a contract, wrongs are weaponized.  In a covenant, wrongs are forgiven

I screw up all the time in our marriage.  So does Kristy.  But we choose to forgive wrongs, not weaponize wrongs.  When you weaponize a wrong, you never let them forget how they failed you. You drag it out for years and years.  You bring it up just to zing them and make them feel bad.

You often say something like:

Remember the time you…

Or 

You always do that…

When you weaponize wrongs in your marriage, you are functioning with more of a CONTRACT mindset than a COVENANT mindset. But when you FORGIVE wrongs, you ELEVATE God's role in your marriage. Think about it.

Forgiveness is the heart of the Covenant God made with you, and forgiveness is the heart of the Covenant you made with your spouse. When you forgive, you recognize that God is more than the beginning, middle, and end of your Covenant. God is not just the center of your marriage –forgiveness must saturate every square inch of your marriage. Without covenant forgiveness, your marriage will be miserable till you die or till you divorce. And let me encourage you…

THINK DEATH NOT DIVORCE

If, in the back of your mind, you have set aside divorce as an option, if things get tough, you are not going to work as hard to forgive and overcome obstacles and challenges together.  You will not practice forgiveness the way God compels us to forgive. But if you recognize death is God’s only way to end a marriage, you will forgive wrongs because you are in this until death. 

You will serve together, because you are in this till death.  

You will Love and Cherish one another, because you are in this till death.  

You will forsake all others, because you are in this till death.  

Now might be a good time to remind you that murder is a sin. It is against the law and punishable by death.

If you view Divorce as an option…the amount of energy and devotion you produce may not be as strong as those who see DEATH as the only way to break the marriage Covenant. We talked about divorce last week. I encourage you to go back and watch the sermon.  There are two biblical allowances for divorce…and one I think is common sense.

1. Affair

2. Abandonment

3. Abuse

Affair: If your spouse is engaging in sexual activity with somebody else, the Bible allows for you to divorce them.  But if you are able to forgive them, I encourage you to do so.

Abandonment: If your spouse packs up, leaves, and wants nothing to do with you…you are no longer bound to that spouse. But if you can forgive them and hold out hope for their return, that’s better.

Abuse: If your spouse abuses you or your children (sexually or physically), you do not have to feel guilt or shame about seeking a divorce.  I do not encourage you to forgive them over and over. Get out.

Now, if you still view divorce as an option, here are some reasons why God does not permit divorce:

Your spouse hurt your feelings

Did not support you.

Laughed at you instead of with you.

Burned dinner.

Did not fold the laundry. 

Passes gas under the blankets.

Leaves facial hair in the sink.

Burns the house down.

Or leaves the tank in the car empty again…

God does not permit divorce if you marry a lazy, good-for-nothing person. Think Death, not Divorce!  Again, murder is a sin and a crime punishable by law.

TWO DETERMINED MINDS CAN LEAVE A LEGACY.

Two determined minds can leave a legacy.  The more you and your spouse are determined to get better together in your marriage, the chances are that you are going to leave a godly legacy. Imagine that you model forgiveness, grace, service, and love in your marriage so well that your children grow up and model that in their marriage as well. Imagine you and your spouse beginning to serve as mentors for other young married couples in our church. By helping other married couples thrive, you will leave a godly legacy in God’s Kingdom and in another couple’s marriage.

I am firmly convinced that the more determined you and your spouse are to thrive in your marriage, the more you will confess your sins to one another, pray for one another, and encourage one another…and that your future family members will hold your marriage in high regard.

They may say things like: 

“I am so proud of your grandmother for not giving up on your granddaddy.”

“Your grandaddy always got a twinkle in his eye when he talked about your grandmother.”

Have the mindset that you will leave a Godly Legacy for your children and your grandchildren.  Think about the future – not just the present. Have the mindset that they will be able to see that you have a Christ-Centered, God Honoring, Grace saturated covenant with one another – and that even when things got difficult, divorce was never considered because divorce was never an option.

When I Said I Do - Forsaking All Others

Today, we are focusing on the vow – “Forsaking All Others.”

Imagine two young lovers.  They are followers of Jesus and have successfully abstained from sex throughout their dating and engagement period.  They both love the Lord and want to Honor him in their marriage and engagement. She longs for the wedding day.  She tries to find the perfect dress, the perfect location, the music, the flowers, the ceremony. 

He is not dreaming about her dress, the ceremony, or the songs. Guys, you know what he is thinking about.  When he says, “I do.” He means, “Let’s get busy.” The bride is convinced she is marrying Prince Charming.  

He will always be romantic. 

He will always rescue her.  

He will always cherish her.

The groom is convinced he is marrying an insatiable, passionate woman who will be willing anytime, day or night. It doesn’t take too long before she realizes he is no prince charming, and he realizes he couldn’t have been more wrong about her sexual appetite. Then the arguments begin.  The bickering back and forth begins.  They hurl hurtful words at each other and cut one another to the core. Being the follower of Jesus he is, he quotes the bible to her:

Proverbs 21:9 (HCSB) 

9  Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife. 

And she quotes right back to him…

1 Corinthians 13:11b (HCSB) 

…When I became a man, I put aside childish things.

And after a short period of time, they both begin to think, “I have made a mistake…Marriage is not supposed to be this hard.”

After getting counsel from friends, they decide to end the marriage before it even had a chance to get started. They both feel shell-shocked and numb.  They can’t put a finger on what exactly went wrong. Today, as we talk about “forsaking all others,” let’s remember the origin of Marriage.  

God is the one who created marriage. It was God’s idea for one man to marry one woman and forsake all others. After God had created Adam, he declared that it was not good that man was alone and would make him a wife.  Adam was made from the dirt, but Eve was made from one of Adam's ribs.

Let’s read:

Genesis 2:21-25 (NLT2) 

21  So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22  Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23  “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” 24  This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 25  Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. 

When a man and a woman marry, something spiritually, emotionally, and physically significant happens.  Two people make a covenant to remain in a God-Ordained, God Created Marriage. This isn’t a casual hookup or temporary living arrangements.  It is not a “let’s do it and let’s hope for the best.”  It is a TOTAL MESHING together of Two People into one. And since God made the two one, Jesus made it crystal clear. 

Matthew 19:6 (NLT2)

6  Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” 

You leave the past behind and go all-in with your spouse. No safety nets, no backup plans, no half-hearted efforts. No moving back in with Parents after the first fight. You become one flesh—spiritually, emotionally, physically. It’s you and your spouse fighting for one another, not you and your spouse when it’s convenient.

DON’T LET ‘THE D WORD’ POISON YOUR MARRIAGE

At some point very early on in our marriage, Kristy and I made a decision to treat the word, “Divorce” as though it were the most profane word in the English language.

We have argued, passionately, angrily, and heated, but we have never used the word Divorce.  In all things we have said that we do not mean…we have never used the “D-Word” in our arguing. My advice to you, whether you are in your first marriage or your third, don’t let the D-word poison your marriage.

Once you begin throwing that word around, the poison will contaminate everything it touches.  That word will poison your imagination, it will poison your dreams, it will poison your future, and it will try to divide into two what God has joined together as one. And, divorce is a sin but God has allowed…

THREE EXCEPTIONS: AFFAIR, ABANDONMENT, ABUSE

You made a covenant with your spouse to forsake all others – and if your spouse has broken their covenant with you by having an affair, God declares that divorce is no longer a sin.

The same God who said:

Exodus 20:14 (NLT2) 

14  “You must not commit adultery. 

Matthew 5:32 (NLT2) 

32  But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. 

If your spouse has broken the covenant by sleeping with another person, divorce is an option, but you can also choose to reconcile and forgive them. The second-place divorce is not considered a sin is in areas of abandonment. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7.

1 Corinthians 7:15 (NLT2) 

15  (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) 

If you are married to an unbelieving spouse, and they abandon you, it is not a sin to divorce them.  But, you can still choose to wait for them, reconcile with them, and forgive them. But regarding divorce, abuse is not clearly given as an exception.  

There is no place in scripture that permits divorce in areas of abuse, so why did I put it in here?

Look at the end of verse 1 Cor. 7:15…the reason a spouse can divorce if they have been abandoned is because God has called you to live in peace.  If your spouse is abusing you or your children, you do not have peace.  

I watched my dad swing my mom around the living room by the hair on her head while he was in a drunken rage.  If you remain in a marriage where physical abuse is occurring, you are perpetuating a cycle of violence that your children will accept as normal. So – get out. Call the police.  Press charges.  Take photographs.  

And, because divorce is such a difficult journey, seek reconciliation and work hard to win trust and the heart of your spouse back again.   You DO NOT have to settle for the solution of divorce or remaining in a marriage without joy. The story I opened with about the young bride and groom could have been Kristy’s and my story.  

Our first two years of marriage were terribly difficult.  I was a youth pastor.  She was a Youth pastor’s wife.  Outside, we looked fine.  We went to church.  We led bible studies.  We went on mission trips. But behind the scenes, we bickered.  We argued.  We hurled mean words at each other.  She would call me an idiot. And under my breath, I would call her a %$#.  We were successful at hurting each other.

I would read Ephesians 5, where Paul writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands.”  I couldn’t figure out why she would not let me lead in public. When I made a decision in front of the students, she would second-guess it. While I was trying to lead, I felt like she was trying to undermine me. After all, Eph 5:23-24 could not be any clearer:

Ephesians 5:23-24 (NLT2) 

23  For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24  As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Kristy was not submitting to me.  She was not letting me lead.  After a couple of years of this – I couldn’t ignore the nagging voice in my mind that grew louder and louder, “I married the wrong person.” “I made a mistake.” “She doesn’t love Jesus enough…” And then God showed me that I was so focused on Kristy’s role that I had failed 100% to understand my role in Ephesians 5. First, I had missed completely Eph 5:21. 

Ephesians 5:21 (NLT2) 

21  And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

Paul taught throughout scripture that followers of Jesus ought to always practice mutual submission, set aside their own selfish desires, and live to serve others. Second, I had missed completely Eph 5:25

Ephesians 5:25 (NLT2) 

25  For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her…

Circle, “He gave up his life for her…”

See, God showed me his desire is not for me to lead but for me to give up my life for my wife. Husbands and wives, your marriage is not doomed to fail.

TO EXPERIENCE ONENESS, YOU MUST SURRENDER SELFISHNESS.

God’s design in marriage is that two people will become one. Therefore, oneness is the goal in every marriage.  Submitting to your husband and giving your life up for your wife is MUTUAL SUBMISSION TO ONENESS.  

Since I was a child, I have learned to take care of my own body. I learned to brush my teeth, wash my face, and try to look presentable when company comes over. I learned that my body needs to rest, exercise, and get sunlight in order to feel healthy. Ever since I can remember, I have taken care of myself. I eat to give my body energy and nourishment. I exercise to keep my body healthy. Nobody can force me to get up at a certain time, go to work, ride my bike, or be nice to others. I get to make decisions about what I do each and every day. It’s my body.

Until.  

The day Kristy and I married, I gave 100% authority over my body to my wife. That’s why I find my socks with her clothes. That’s why her fresh towel is used before she can use it. That’s why I sleep on the edge of the bed most nights.

1 Corinthians 7:4 (NLT2) 

4  The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 

Oneness is God’s plan for marriage.  For the husband, there is nothing in his life that is off-limits to his wife, and for the wife, there is nothing in her life that is off-limits to him. At any point at any time, my wife can pick up my phone, look through my text messages, calendar, emails, Facebook friends and messages, browser history trail… there is nothing in my life that is off-limits to my wife. And she has given me permission to pick up her phone and do the same.  Why? Because I have given authority of my body to my wife, and she has given the authority of her body to me. So, surrender to oneness.  

Take another look at the experience of Adam and Eve in Genesis.  

Genesis 2:25 (NLT2) 

25  Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. 

Adam and Eve were both naked and felt no shame.  So, as you lean into oneness, you and your spouse should…

BE NAKED (WITHOUT SHAME OR SECRETS.)

In Genesis, being "naked without shame" wasn’t simply regarding physical intimacy—though that’s definitely part of it, and we praise God for that. Adam and Eve had no pockets! They had no secrets stashed in closets or under their beds. Since sin had not yet entered the world, Adam and Eve were truthful and real with one another and held nothing back from their spouse. They were not controlled by fear, worry, or shame.  They loved one another and held nothing back.  So, be naked and empty out your pockets. Open up parts of your heart that are easy to hide.  Express the fears you keep buried and the hopes you hesitate to express.

God’s intention for marriage was not for two people pretending everything is perfect. 

It wasn’t two people living together but hiding the truth from one another. God intended you and your spouse to be vulnerable and transparent with each other. God gave us marriage so we could learn what it’s like to love unconditionally and to be loved unconditionally. 

So, if you’re holding something back—a fear, past mistake, or worry- I want to challenge you to share that with your spouse. Be naked, not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, without shame, without secrets.

“Forsaking all others” will change the course of your life. Forsaking all others means that I choose you—every day, in every moment, even when it's hard, even when I’m not feeling it. Forsaking all others means you keep the door closed when someone else—maybe a coworker or an old flame—comes knocking. It means that when you are tempted to look at something you shouldn’t, you remember that your eyes, heart, and body belong to your spouse. It means that you are choosing “us” over your selfish desires.

That’s the beauty of marriage. It’s the opportunity to live out God’s love story—sacrificing for one another, fighting for one another, giving grace when it’s not deserved, and standing by each other’s side until death do us part. So, if you’re here today and wondering if you married the wrong person, I want you to hear me. 

God can redeem anything. He can breathe new life into your marriage if you’re willing to fight for it. 

When I Said I Do - In Sickness & In Health

Today, we are focusing on the vow – “In sickness and in Health.”

A few months ago, I had one of the worst bouts of heartburn in my life. I typically take over-the-counter meds for it, but I had run out, and I kept forgetting to pick up more.  Rather than buying the meds, I would pop a Tums when I would feel the acid burning. Then, one night, the acid reflux was so bad that I woke up with my mouth watering and my skin clammy, and I’m not kidding; I thought I was going to die.

I got out of bed, and standing up made it worse.  I dug through the medicine cabinet, the closets, and under the bathroom sink.  I couldn’t find anything.

And the reflux kept getting worse.  I broke out into cold sweats. I was going to throw up. Sweating, I laid down on the Kitchen floor and pressed my face against the tile.  Believing I was dying, I yelled, “Help. Somebody, please help me.”

Kristy and the girls woke up and found me in my miserable state. At 1:30 in the morning, Kristy got in the car and drove to the gas station to pick up Rolaids and Omeprazole. Meanwhile, Jessie was wetting a rag and placing it on my forehead to help cool me down. After what felt like three hours, Kristy came home and brought Rolaids, Pepto, and Omeprazole, and I finally felt relief.

Being a man is tough, right? 

I’m not the only guy who’s been a little dramatic when feeling sick. Right guys?

Right? 

We can mow the yard, change the oil, and fix a flat tire, but when we get a bad case of the sniffles, we check our man card at the door, turn into little boys, and want our wives to be our mommas. When Adam and Eve chose to sin, and sin entered the world, it brought with it death, destruction, and disease. Sin gave birth to cancer, heart disease, aneurysms, blood clots, strokes, and heart attacks.

And when you made a covenant with your spouse, looked them in the eye, and said the lines, “in sickness and in health,” you made a covenant that you would continue to stay married to one another, no matter how bad their heartburn was.

Some interesting information I found is according to studies when one spouse is diagnosed with a serious illness, like cancer or another terminal condition, the chances of divorce actually increase. We think it would be the opposite.  If our spouse gets a terminal illness, that’s the opportunity to love them fiercely and help them…

But…

The divorce rate goes up. The stress, the emotional weight, the financial burden of medical bills, pharmacy prices, doctor care…

All the stress builds up, and marriages end.

And, men, here is something for us to get better at:

The divorce rate increases higher when the wife has been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. It’s not true in every situation, but women are most commonly the nurturers in the home. They are “motherly” to us when we are sick. And men often don’t know how to handle that role reversal. We are used to being the providers, the ones who are strong and when our wives get sick, we don’t always know how to step into the caregiver role.

This is why the vow 'In Sickness and in Health' becomes so important. It’s easy to say those words on your wedding day, but living them out is where the real challenge comes in. But the good news is if we read and apply God’s Word, he will change our lives. So let’s look at Romans 12:9-13 and see what applications we can make to help us remain committed to our spouse, “In sickness and in health.”

Romans 12:9-13 (NLT2) 

9  Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10  Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11  Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12  Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13  When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

I love the simplicity and plainspoken truth of verse 9.

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.”

Ready for a confession?  

Sometimes, it is easy for me as a Pastor to pretend to love other people. I enjoy standing in the lobby and connecting with people. But sometimes, my mind wanders, and I catch myself feeling like I am going through the motions instead of really loving them. When my mind wanders, I have to remind myself that the person I am speaking with is a child of God, that Jesus gave his life for them, and that the Spirit of the Lord loves them deeply. So, if your spouse is struggling with the flu, cancer, or the man cold, my first piece of advice is to…

LISTEN TO THEIR NEED, NOT WHAT YOU THINK THEY NEED

Listen to their need, not what you think they need. When we are caring for a sick loved one, we can be guilty of going through the motions without really loving them. It is easy to “pretend” to show love and give them the care we think they need rather than listening to them and giving them the care they really do need.

For instance, if your spouse has the flu and has spent 12 hours throwing up and clinging to the commode, they really don’t want to eat anything you have cooked. Even if it is your homemade, fresh-baked, secret recipe.  Food is not going to help them feel better. They need rest. Fluids. And Sleep. And, if they are a man, they need lots of pity.

If you really love them and they tell you they do not want anything to eat, believe them. Or, if your spouse has a tremendous migraine and they tell you they do not want to go out for dinner, do not want to watch a show, or do not want to go for a walk, believe them. Let them rest and give them the space they need. Remember, when your spouse is sick, they still love you, but…they are sick. They need time to recuperate, so make sure while they are sick that you listen to their need, not what you think they need. Now, that step is for sicknesses like the cold, flu, or broken bones.  Eventually our bodies will heal and recover. 

However, there are frightening diagnoses that are life-threatening. Those life-threatening diseases that we face in life are opportunities for you to love your spouse with a deeper love than you know is possible. Men, this is where we need to dig-deep.  We are used to our wives being the nurturing one – but it is in these times we must dig deep and love like Jesus does.  

By God’s design, women are more nurturing, more compassionate, and more caring than we are.  God designed Mother’s to protect, nourish, and care for their children in ways that a male cannot…and…men have a tendency to be the protector. When men can’t protect our spouse from a terminal illness, we can run. We feel powerless, and apart from digging deep and showing real love, we are. So I encourage you to lead in your family through a complete surrender to the Lord. Ask the Lord to help you care for your spouse and meet their needs.

Trust Him.  Remain faithful. And when it it gets hard:

FIND WAYS TO LAUGH, EVEN WHEN IT’S HARD

Romans 12:10 (NLT2)

10  Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

As you love each other with genuine affection that is not forced, not faked, look for ways to laugh with one another to keep joy stirring in your own heart, the heart of your spouse, and in your children. Life is hard enough, and when we face a life-threatening disease, we must dig deep and laugh often.  Now, I’m not a big “laugher.”  I am one of those annoying guys in the group. When something is funny, I say, “That’s funny.”  

Instead of laughing.  Instead of smiling.  I say, “That’s funny.” Isn’t that annoying?

But when I am around the laughers, I get tickled. Not around the people with the polite social laughs but the laughers who are genuine and contagious.  Those laughers bring joy to other people.

As I prepared for this message, I knew I could go in a couple of directions.  I could go deep into the painful but redemptive stories of those who lost their spouses because of illness.  Or, I could emphasize the lighter side of sickness.

So, what I have tried to do is balance the two. Several weeks ago, as I prepared this message, I read story after story of marriages that experienced cancer, treatments, and death.  The stories broke my heart. But I saw one common element in all the stories I read: the person who was sick doesn’t want their sickness to bring their families down. When they faced a life-changing diagnosis, they still wanted to laugh.  They were depressed, but they didn’t want their diagnosis to bring everybody down around them. And, your laughter will help your spouse and your family cling to joy, hope, and not be caught up in the sadness that a scary diagnosis can bring.

So – listen to the comedy genius of “Jim Gaffigan” or “Tim Hawkins.”  Watch some movies that are guaranteed to make you laugh.  Learn to tell jokes – and get the delivery and timing down. Find ways to laugh, even when it’s hard. Along those lines, I encourage you to:

CREATE A GRATITUDE LIST, AND MAKE IT VISIBLE

Romans 12:12 (NLT2) 

12  Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

As you rejoice in your confident hope, make a list of all the things you and your family have to be thankful for. Buy chalkboard paint and chalk and dedicate a wall in your home for all the things you are thankful for.  Let it be visible, and when you pass it, stop and read through it. Go over it, and over it. And every time you pass it, let it sink in of all the things you are grateful for in your life. And my final piece of advice is when caring for a spouse who is sick – especially caring for one who has been sick for a while…

TOUCH FOR COMFORT, NOT JUST ROMANCE

Touch each other for comfort, not romance. That means when you offer to rub their back, it is only a back-rub. Your spouse loves you.  They want to be romantic with you – but when they are sick they don’t feel like themselves

Paul said:

Romans 12:12-13 (NLT2) 

12  Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13  When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Be confident in your hope in Jesus.  Be patient.  Keep on praying for your spouse.  When they are sick, they are in need – so be ready to help them…and practice hospitality to your spouse. The Covenant “In sickness and in health” is our opportunity to demonstrate hospitality to our spouse.  We accommodate our behavior for them and accommodate our needs for their needs because we love them…

Next week we are going to look at the vow we remember the most, “Forsaking all Others.”

When I Said I Do - To Love and To Cherish

I understand that not everybody reading this is married.  

Some are engaged.  

Some are single and loving it. 

Some are yearning for a relationship.  

Some have lost a spouse to death.

Some are divorced. 

I hope that as we go through this five-week series, God will show up and encourage and strengthen you. Over the next five weeks, we will examine the traditional Wedding Vows exchanged during many wedding ceremonies.  And, on the last week of our series, you and your spouse are invited to stand and RENEW your WEDDING vows…

Do you remember when you said, I Do?

On December 11, 1999, Kristy Lumpkins and I stood at the wedding altar at Grace Baptist Church in Nashville, TN, in front of a crowd of roughly 300 people and made a covenant to remain married to one another, no matter what. We exchanged vows, lit a unity candle, and were pronounced legally and spiritually husband and wife. Then we kissed one another…and let me tell you…that kiss was awesome.

Kristy grabbed me by the back of my neck and laid one on me.  Do you think I’m teasing you? 

Here is a photo:

After we were pronounced husband and wife, we walked down the center aisle.  Friends from church, college, and high school cheered us on. Her family cheered us on. My family cheered us on…They celebrated and cheered for us. After we left the worship center, we were briefly alone, and as we hugged and embraced…I broke down and sobbed. I could not believe Kristy Lou followed through on her YES to marry me.  I felt honored and humbled and had difficulty believing she had married me. 

I was fearful that Kristy would break up and end our engagement…

But Kristy showed up on our wedding day, walked the aisle, and said, I DO.

That, in a nutshell, is the story of our wedding day.  Chances are excellent that your wedding was probably similar. When you exchanged vows with your spouse, the officiant turned and asked you to repeat after him something like this:

I, Joe

take you, Kristy

to be my wedded wife,

to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

forsaking all others,

till death we do part,

I pledge to my life in Holy Matrimony…

The exchange of your vows was more than just a promise. It was more than just a piece of paper. It was more than just a legal formality. In front of your family, friends, community, and God, you made a covenant with one another that no matter what – the two of you will stick together through the highs and lows of life. Whether you go broke, get rich, stay healthy, or get cancer. You vowed that no matter what…you will continue to love and cherish one another, forsaking everybody else until you die.

That is HUGE.

It was a vow, and you exchanged rings for each of you to wear.  

Those rings declare to everyone who will see or interact with you: “I am married – so back off, Bubba!”

Now – nearly 25 years later…30 lbs later…2 ½ years of battling depression…Nine houses…Six states…Six years of infertility…Four children and three with T1D…

We still say, “I do.”

It hasn’t always been easy – but despite the difficulties we have experienced, we have always known that we are entirely devoted to one another.

What about you? Do you still say, “I Do?”

Today, we are going to focus on the line in the vow… “To Love and to Cherish.”

Paul described LOVE in 1 Corinthians 13.  He writes: 

1 Corinthians 13:1-11 (NLT2) 

1  If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2  If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3  If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 4  Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8  Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9  Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10  But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless. 11  When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 

This passage is by far the most definitive in defining and describing LOVE. Several years ago, I asked my daughters, “Girls, what is a way to show love to people who are mean to us?”

My five-year-old Violet said, “Punching them.”

Sofia said, “That’s not loving them.”

Violet said, “It is for me!”

I think sometimes, in marriage, we need clarity around the meaning of love. Like Violet, we can have a wrong understanding of love. The first point I want to make is…

WITHOUT LOVE, MARRIAGE IS NOISY

In the First Century, most PAGAN TEMPLES had a big GONG or a Cymbal hanging at the entrance. When people came to worship, they would hit the GONG or the Cymbal to awaken their PAGAN GODS so they would listen to their prayers.  

Paul is saying that even if he could articulate eloquently in every language but didn't have love, his life was as useless as this ridiculous pounding on a gong to awaken nonexistent gods. It is important to remember that, inside of marriage, we can go through all the motions and not demonstrate love to one another.  

You can go to work, do the dishes,

Do the laundry, fill the cars up with gas, clean the house, pay the bills, and you can complain about it the whole time.

Have you ever been around a clanging cymbal?

It is a little irritating and obnoxious. And when you are doing things in your marriage without love– it gets noisy and irritating, too. And, this is true for...

ALL RELATIONSHIPS.

We can DO all the right things in marriage and all relationships – but it is obnoxious if we serve without love. If we do the laundry without love – it is irritating. If we pack lunches without love – it is noisy. If we work in customer service without love – it is irritating. It is noisy if we serve in any ministry area without love.

So, are you showing love to your spouse daily, or are you growing more irritated with one another? Sometimes, we do things without love – and sometimes, we love our spouse WRONG. Sometimes, people THINK they are showing love to their spouse, but they are not. Male or female, we each have a Love Language.  When your spouse speaks your love language, it fills your love bucket up, and you feel loved.

FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

3. Receiving Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

I love it when my wife compliments and encourages me…and…I love it when we touch.  (that’s why we have four kids…) If your Love Language is Quality Time and your spouse intentionally spends quality time with you, you feel loved. But, if your Love Language is Physical Touch, and your spouse intentionally gives you gifts, your love bucket never feels full. If you are out of sync with your spouse, if you haven’t yet learned to speak their love language, you can buy them gifts, do acts of service, and speak words of affirmation, but if their love language is physical touch – they still will not feel loved and valued by you! 

You may have thought or said, “She says she doesn’t feel loved, but I am always doing things for her. I am always encouraging her. I am always buying gifts for her. How can she not feel loved?” 

Great! Because if you want to experience becoming ONE with your spouse, you have to learn to speak your spouse's love language. I will give you two options to get better at loving your spouse:

www.5LoveLanguages.com

www.betterlove.com

5LoveLanguages.com is a free test.  It is excellent, simple, and a good place to begin.

BetterLove.com is $35 for a couple, but it is a more comprehensive approach. It will offer an assessment and a Better Love Action Plan.  

If we are not willing to learn to speak the love language of our spouse, we are being selfish. 

Paul said: 

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 : (Love) does not demand its own way. 

When we do demand our own way, we are being selfish, so remember: 

SELFISHNESS DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS

Selfishness destroys the oneness that your marriage could experience. During creation, we discover the goal of marriage. Afterward, we see a description of how God formed Adam from dirt and how Eve was created from Adam’s rib.  Adam exclaimed when he saw her, “Woah, Man – bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”   

The author of Genesis went on to explain God’s purpose in marriage:

Genesis 2:24 (NLT2) 

24  This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 

God’s goal for every marriage is that TWO separate people would grow together as ONE. Oneness.  TWO people seeking to GROW together in ONENESS. Oneness means that you are leaning in the same direction. Oneness means working together to advance God’s Kingdom in your marriage.

Oneness means you are quick to forgive. Quick to seek forgiveness. It means you accept apologies and show mercy to one another. Oneness means when your spouse does upset you – you show them the same mercy God shows you. And DEMANDING your way in marriage ruins God’s plan for you.  You will never know the joy of ONENESS if you always insist on having things your way. And, if you are always demanding to have your way, gently, it is time you…

GROW UP AND LOVE SACRIFICIALLY

The Apostle Paul said in verse 11:

1 Corinthians 13:11 (NLT2) 

11  When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.

In the context of this passage, Paul says he became a MAN when he began to practice LOVE!  Children think only about themselves, so grow up! A child cannot see from another person's perspective or understand from another point of view, so grow up. Children demand their way, stomp their feet, and hold their breath when they do not get their way. And – if you find that you are always insistent that your spouse does things your way – it is Time that you grew up.  Tell the boy in you to sit down. It is time for the man to stand up. Tell the little girl in you to sit down.  It is time for the woman to stand up.

Stop being selfish. Stop throwing temper tantrums when you do not get your way. It is time to put childish ways behind you. God loves you. He wants to help you and your spouse put childish ways behind you. If you allow God to help you put childish ways behind you, you will open the door to the most amazing years in your marriage… it is never too late to start.

Philippians - God Provides

We are concluding the sermon series from Philippians.  We will look at his closing thoughts, and I hope you will see Paul’s mutual love for the Philippian believers. Now, remember. Paul wrote this letter to thank the Philippians for a financial gift they sent him while he was under house arrest.  And they sent a man named Epaphroditus with the offering to give it to Paul. While Epaphroditus was there, he cared for Paul, got sick, almost died, got better, and now Paul is about to send this letter back with Epaphroditus to read this letter to the church.

Let’s read:

Philippians 4:15-23 (NLT2) 

15  As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I first brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. No other church did this. 16  Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once. 17  I don’t say this because I want a gift from you. Rather, I want you to receive a reward for your kindness. 18  At the moment I have all I need—and more! I am generously supplied with the gifts you sent me with Epaphroditus. They are a sweet-smelling sacrifice that is acceptable and pleasing to God. 19  And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. 20  Now all glory to God our Father forever and ever! Amen. 21  Give my greetings to each of God’s holy people—all who belong to Christ Jesus. The brothers who are with me send you their greetings. 22  And all the rest of God’s people send you greetings, too, especially those in Caesar’s household. 23  May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. 

If you are a skeptic, I know what you are thinking. Paul was not buttering the church to get them to send more money. He is actually being warm and sincere and grateful for the way they blessed him. I encourage you to read through Acts 16 and 17 and discover how Paul met the Philippians and how the church was launched. In short, Paul and the Philippian church had a very warm and special friendship.  From the very first, their hearts were joined together through generosity.

They generously bandaged his wounds when he had been beaten and thrown into prison. They generously gave him a place to stay, food, and encouragement. Even after he left town, they kept sending him help to partner with him in telling others about Jesus. 

That’s why Paul said…

Philippians 4:15-16 (NLT2) 

15  As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I first brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. No other church did this. 16  Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once. 

The Philippian believers were generous from the moment they surrendered their lives to Jesus. And now Paul wanted them to know that…

LIVING GENEROUSLY GENERATES REWARD

Philippians 4:17 (NLT2) 

17  I don’t say this because I want a gift from you. Rather, I want you to receive a reward for your kindness. 

Paul was reminding them of this very simple principle.  In life, the more generous you and I are to others, the more others will be generous to us. Before you tighten your grip on your wallet, I don’t think Paul is only referring to financial generosity. The Philippians believers had seen the generosity of time, love, and encouragement Paul gave them.  

Paul was generous with his worship after he had been beaten in the prison. After being locked up in the inner dungeon, Paul was generous with his love. Paul was generous in sharing the good news of Jesus with the prisoners. Paul modeled the generosity of God’s love for others. And the Philippian believers were pouring out the same generosity they had received from Paul.

When Kristy goes out of her way to be generous toward me with her love and tenderness, I want to go out of my way for her. When others are generous and kind to us, we want to show kindness to them. Paul spoke about this simple principle in his letter to the Galatians.  He writes:

Galatians 6:7-9 (NLT2) 

7  Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. 8  Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. 9  So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.

So, if you sow “doing what is good” to others, you will reap a “harvest of blessing” if you keep it up. I love sharing this example of people who practice generosity in our church. Twice a month, around 40 people show up and distribute food.  Over 1700 people in our community receive food from our partnership with a local food bank each month. It's hot. It's humid.  The lines are long. But the people serving smile, love, and the sow generosity to bless other people.

If you are a follower of Jesus, by that I mean you believe that God created the world, but the world chose to sin. You believe you lived in disobedience to God, and the punishment for disobedience was eternal separation from God. And, you believe Jesus was God in the Flesh who paid the price for our disobedience on the cross. You believe that Jesus generously suffered, died, was buried, rose from the dead, went to heaven, and will one day return. And because you believe these things, you surrendered your life to God, trusted and received Jesus as your Savior. If you had a moment like that, you are a follower of Jesus.

And now that you are a follower of Jesus, there is a promise that you can claim, as found in Philippians 4:19.

GOD WILL MEET EVERY NEED, SO PERSEVERE WHILE WAITING

Philippians 4:19 (NLT2) 

19  And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. 

Every single person in this room has needs in their lives.  We make some of our needs known to everybody, but we keep other needs private. You may make it known that you need more coffee on Sunday morning, but you may not make it known that you are overwhelmed with credit card debt. You may make it known that you are hangry, but you may not share that you are lonely. You may make it known that you and your spouse argued this morning, but you may keep it hidden that you have been quietly thinking about divorce. But God wants to meet your needs.  God wants to work miracles in your life.  God wants to restore your marriage, restore your relationships, and restore your life. 

You may be walking through a difficult season in your life right now, but I invite you to persevere. For the next few minutes, I will highlight the perseverance many people showed during a difficult season at Beach Church.

In 2019, Beach Church was recognized as the 83rd fastest-growing church in America.  The parking lot was filling up. By the spring of 2020, the church was averaging over 1,500 in worship, and because of the growth, the staff was preparing to launch a third worship service. But by 2022, because of internal strife and division, worship attendance had dipped into the three-and-four hundreds, leadership left, and people wondered if God was finished working in Beach Church. Morale among staff and members was at an all-time low. The 1,900-seat worship center felt emptier each week, and visitors stopped attending. Many feared that Beach Church would soon close its doors for good. 

It wasn’t easy. It was hard.  For many, that season felt heavy, confusing, and uncertain. Yet you continued to serve at Guest Central when there weren’t many guests. You continued to serve in the parking lot when there weren’t any cars to help park. You continued to serve on our First Impressions team and maybe over-greeted the few guests who visited. Your friends tried to convince you to go to church with them. People said to “give up” and “sometimes churches die.”

But you continued to give, you continued to serve, and you continued to keep moving forward when church life got hard. And today, people are walking through the doors at Beach Church like never before. Our lobby is filled with joy, laughter, tears, and prayers each week. Entire families are surrendering their lives to Jesus, getting baptized, and experiencing hope! Since the beginning of 2024, we have welcomed 1400 guests in worship, gave away over 500 bibles, baptized over 174 people, and have had over 65 professions of faith. To keep up with the movement of God, we have added a Family Pastor, a Student Pastor, and today, a Director of Children’s Ministry.  

And…

Two weeks ago, Outreach Magazine contacted me to inform me that in 2024, Beach Church was ranked as the 58th fastest-growing church in America. Thank you for trusting God when things weren’t clear. Thank you for trusting God when you were discouraged. Thank you for wedging your foot into the door and keeping it propped open for people to come and experience the life-changing love of Jesus.   

We are a church where the broken overcome. We are a church where marriages can be restored. We are a church where those who have been at the end of their rope can offer a ladder to those who are now at the end of theirs. And friends, because a group persevered in the waiting…

YOU HAVE A PLACE AT BEACH CHURCH

Philippians 4:20-23 (NLT2) 

20  Now all glory to God our Father forever and ever! Amen. 21  Give my greetings to each of God’s holy people—all who belong to Christ Jesus. The brothers who are with me send you their greetings. 22  And all the rest of God’s people send you greetings, too, especially those in Caesar’s household. 23  May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. 

As Paul closes his letter, we see the incredible sense of love he has for this church. If you haven’t yet felt that sense of belonging here at Beach Church, it may be because you have not yet begun to live transparently. I remember the initial weeks after I surrendered my life to Jesus. From the time I surrendered my life to Jesus at 18, I stepped up to serve in any area that would take me.

I got involved in leading the student ministry. I got involved in teaching Sunday School. I got involved with ministries that met on my college campus. I took the first step and initiated relationships. I believed that I would be loved and accepted, and I was.

For the first three years after I gave my life to Jesus, I was a dirty, hard-working construction worker.  I had a beat-up car, worn-out clothes, a mullet, and didn’t quite fit in with the little Baptist church I attended. Still, I believed everybody loved and cared for me because they were part of God’s family, so I kept initiating relationships and getting involved.  Not everybody understood me, but I loved them anyway.

And you get to be you here at Beach Church. You can have a mullet and be stuck in the 1980’s, and it’s okay. You can have a flattop and be stuck in the 1950s and it’s okay. You can listen to emo and be stuck in the 2000s, and it's okay. You can have a lifted four-wheel-drive truck or drive a Tesla; it's okay. You belong here at Beach Church. You have a place, whether you are a young married couple, single, divorced, or parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents. If you continue to persevere and trust that God will meet your needs, you will find a place to belong.  But you must be willing to take the first steps. 

Jesus didn't do life alone. He invited the disciples to join him. Don't sit back and wait and just randomly bump into people. Be intentional. Begin to experience that sense of belonging by downloading the Beach Church app. If you can play an instrument or like to sing songs of worship in the shower, you may be a good fit for our worship team.  Take the initiative, complete the app's digital connect card, and let us know.

Philippians - Contentment Through Trouble

I post on Social Media quite often.  

You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.  If you follow me, you know that I post pictures of my family, travel highlights, and of course, food and restaurants.

I want to confess something to you: If you follow me on social media, you will not see the REAL Donahue family. You will not see my arguments with my wife, frustrations with people, posts about messing up with my kids…or when the kids are driving me crazy.

I may provide a tiny glimpse occasionally, but mostly I stay away from that side of me…and…people like me are the problem with social media!  

Week after week, I see people “taking a break from Social Media” because they look at our posts, compare themselves to the image we portray, and think, “I give up. I’m never going to have it all together.”

We will feel dissatisfied with life, never feel like we measure up to the world's expectations of us, and ultimately, we will never be content.

As Paul wrote this letter, he was chained up, under house arrest, with Roman Guards standing over him.  He was poorly clothed, rarely bathed, and had meager food rations to sustain him.  But we would never guess Paul lived in those conditions for two years because he seemed so happy and content when he wrote this letter.

Today, we learn the secret of Paul’s strength. We learn how the apostle Paul was able to strengthen, instruct, and encourage the church in Philippi even while he was imprisoned, confined, and lived in meager conditions.

At this point in Philippians 4, Paul begins to express his gratitude for a financial gift that the church had sent to help provide for him. He knew they were concerned about him, and they showed a willingness to help him by collecting an offering from the church and sending it to Paul.

Let’s read.

Philippians 4:10-13 (NLT2) 

10  How I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but you didn’t have the chance to help me. 11  Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. 

As Paul began to thank the Philippians for the gift they sent (we can assume it was a financial gift, clothes, or even food). First, he acknowledged that they had always been concerned about him, but they had not yet had an opportunity to show their concern…until he was placed under house arrest. If you are a part of a Lifegroup, maybe you have experienced something similar.  Maybe somebody in your life group had a baby.  You may throw a baby shower for them…or sign up to help with a meal train.

You were always concerned about them, but you only showed concern when they had a need. But Paul wrote from a slightly different perspective. Paul worked with his hands for a living. As he traveled and shared Jesus's Life-Changing message, he worked wherever he went to earn a living.

Acts 18:3 (NLT2) 

3  Paul lived and worked with them, for they were tentmakers just as he was. 

Paul never charged churches for his services.  He supported himself.  He never wanted to be accused of preaching about Jesus for profit.  So he worked with his hands wherever he went.  But now that Paul was under house arrest, he could not work to earn a living. He had no source of income…and to add insult to injury, Rome forced him to stay under house arrest—in an apartment that Paul had to pay for. Any money he had went toward paying rent to keep him in prison.

Paul was BROKE. 

Paul wrote this thank you from the perspective that even though he was in need (the word means poverty), he was still ok…because he learned the SECRET of being content in any and every situation: 

HAVE I LEARNED TO BE CONTENT?

Are you okay with having nothing? 

Would you be okay without food, clothing, or shelter? 

Paul said he has learned to be content with nothing or with everything. Whether his table was filled with delicious food or he went without, Paul was content. I love my wife, Kristy.  She is a teacher, and she is amazing.  But if she doesn’t stop to get a bite to eat on her way home, she comes home HANGRY.

Irritable. Frowny. She is not content – at all. I get like that, too.  When I haven’t eaten in a while, I get HANGRY, too.

And when the two of us are Hangry simultaneously – look out, Donahue children! Unless they are all hangry – and then it's pandemonium!

Yet – God desires that you and I learn to be content with little or a lot. We must understand some biblical principles to learn the secret of being content. The first thing necessary to understand is that…

GOD IS SOVEREIGN

The Bible calls Solomon the wisest person that ever lived. Since the Bible describes Solomon that way – I will not argue with it. Listen to how the wisest man on the earth described the work of God:

Ecclesiastes 3:14 (NKJV) 

14  I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, And nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him. 

Whatever God desires to do, he will do. I can never add anything to what God does. What He does is so good that I could never make it better. God has the power, wisdom, and authority to do anything He chooses within His creation. God is concerned about your character. The difficult things he has allowed to come into your life are to sharpen you and develop your character.

Paul understood the sovereignty of God. 

He understood that God loved him and that even though he was under house arrest for telling others about Jesus, God allowed his arrest to happen for Paul’s benefit. If you want to learn to be content, you have to trust that God is Sovereign. Also, along those same lines, if you want to become content, you have to understand that…

GOD IS UNSTOPPABLE

There was a man named Job in the Old Testament.  Job was a man blessed beyond measure. He had children who loved him, livestock, fields, and land.  His posts on social media would embarrass all of us. He was blessed beyond measure. He worshipped God, and God blessed him. 

So, one day, Satan boasted to God that people on the earth were faithless. God asked him, “Have you considered my servant Job?”  Satan said, “He is only faithful because you protect and bless Him. Remove your protection, and I will show you he will turn on you, too.”

So, God removed his protection from Job, and Satan destroyed everything. His children, his cattle, his crop.  He had painful and infectious sores pop up all over his body…

Everything Job loved was taken from him.  Now that I think about it…the Devil attacked Job, wiped out everything, but left his wife. That sounds intentional.

And, if you wanted to “Amen” that comment…We are kicking off a Marriage Series in two weeks.  “When I said I Do.”  We will examine the covenant we made with our spouses and end the series by giving you an opportunity to get all gussied up, stand at the end of the service, and renew your Marriage Vows.

God removed his blessing of protection on Job, and Job’s blessings and health disappeared. Rather than blaming God. Rather than becoming like the rest of the faithless people.  Rather than cursing God. 

This is what Job said about God:

Job 9:12 (NKJV) 

12  If He takes away, who can hinder Him? Who can say to Him, 'What are You doing?' 

In other words, If God will allow something I love and hold dear to be taken away from my life, I cannot stop him.  

Whining does not help.

Crying about it does not help.

A pity party about my troubles does not help. 

If you want to learn to be content, you must accept that God is UNSTOPPABLE, and to learn to be content…

ACCEPT THAT LIFE IS HARD

The third passage that has helped me to learn to be content is from the Apostle Paul.  As we looked at last week, Paul described some of the hardships he faced as a follower of Jesus.

He wrote this:

2 Corinthians 11:24-27 (NLT2) 

24  Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. 25  Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. 26  I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. 27  I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.

Regardless of the challenges I have faced in life – nothing compares to what Paul experienced.

An alcoholic, abusive father raised me. He did unspeakable things to me. One night, he was drunk, grabbed my mom by her hair, and swung her around the house.I went to a shelter for battered and abused families. I was placed in an adolescent psychiatric hospital…

But nothing compares to the hardship Paul experienced. And Paul had all that stuff happen to him AFTER HE BECAME a follower of Jesus!

If your life has grown more complicated since you became a follower of Jesus, it may be because the devil is trying to destroy your faith like he tried to do to Job. If you want to learn to be content, you must accept that life is hard. But the hard will be good for you.

Paul wrote in his letter to the church in Rome:

Romans 8:28 (NLT2) 

28  … God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Even if something evil happens to you, if you love God and lead people to a relationship with God, He will redeem the bad for good. God will take the terrible and make it terrific. 

BECAUSE…

THE SECRET TO STRENGTH IS CONTENTMENT IN CHRIST

Philippians 4:12-13 (NLT2) 

12  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

If you can begin to TRUST the CHARACTER and the HEART of GOD.  

If you can begin to trust in his Sovereign Love for you.

If you want to be able to withstand anything that comes against you…

If you want to walk through fire and not be burned…

You must trust that real strength is found through CONTENTMENT in CHRIST.

It's okay not to be OK.  

You and I are never going to be perfect.  

Your spouse will never be perfect. 

Your children will never be perfect.

Your life will be filled with complex challenges.

But don’t throw in the towel on your trust in God. Don’t give up on your relationship with Jesus.  

When life gets hard, consider the hardship Paul experienced BECAUSE he was a follower of Jesus.  

Paul remained content because JESUS was living inside him, giving him strength.

God is SOVEREIGN.

God is UNSTOPPABLE.

Life is HARD –

But GOD will never allow anything to happen to you that could separate you from his LOVING PRESENCE – and even the bad stuff that happens can turn out for GOOD. Maybe you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus. Perhaps you have not yet turned your life over to God and asked Him to forgive your sin. You can right now.

Philippians - Foundation Of Thought

Throughout this series, I have repeatedly said that this letter's context matters greatly. Paul was not writing this letter in his study. He was not sitting down at sunrise, watching morning birds sing on branches of olive trees while sipping coffee and smelling bacon on the stove.

Paul was under house arrest. He had been chained up. Locked down. His freedom was restricted. He had Roman Soldiers standing over him, telling him when to wake up and go to sleep.  

Paul was in a miserable place, but instead of allowing his mind and thoughts to travel down the road of despair, he demonstrated control over his thought life. He COULD have complained. He could have moaned and groaned about how life was not fair – and he could have written that “God must not really love him because of the bad stuff he was experiencing.”

Instead, Paul wrote this:

Philippians 4:8-9 

8  And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9  Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. 

Outside of all the passages explaining how to be forgiven for your sins and experience new life in Jesus, this is one of the passages followers of Jesus should memorize. If you are a follower of Jesus… 

By that, I mean you have surrendered your life to God by trusting in Jesus as the only way to be forgiven for your sins. You believed by faith that Jesus paid the price for your sins, that he died on the cross, that he rose from the dead, and that one day he will return…and you have committed to following Him.

If you have made that commitment to Him – then from now until you meet Jesus face to face, you are in the process of becoming more and more like Jesus every single day. 

And the key to becoming more like Jesus is to follow the instruction that Paul leaves us in Philippians 4:8…It involves using our BRAIN.  

Studies tell us that our brains produce up to 50,000 thoughts daily, and roughly 75% are negative.  That means 37,500 thoughts we think every day are NEGATIVE! 

We let our big, powerful brain wander, and too often it settles on the negative. We think about what’s wrong at work, in our families, or with our health. We allow our brain to wander to depressing, negative thoughts, rather than telling our brain to think what we want it to! But the Bible teaches us that our outlook on life can be changed. Paul had every reason to have negative thoughts.  His life wasn’t easy. This man had been beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, and thrown into prison countless times. 

Listen to the hardships he experienced.  He said: 

2 Corinthians 11:23b-27 

23….I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. 24  Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. 25  Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. 26  I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. 27  I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm. 

Paul had every reason to be negative, bitter and frustrated. He had every reason not to trust people, be skeptical about others, and question their motives. He could’ve easily let his mind wander and think:

“Life isn’t fair.” 

“Why is this happening to me?”

“God set Peter free from prison; he must not love me as much.”

But he didn’t. Instead, he locked in on what was true and praiseworthy. He knew something that we sometimes forget: our thoughts don’t have to be controlled by our circumstances. He didn’t pretend everything was fine, but he controlled his mind and focused on what God was doing, not what he was feeling.

So, how do we overcome the 37,000 negative thoughts that come at us daily? It’s simple; we take control.

Because…

POSITIVE THOUGHTS ARE BETTER THAN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Positive thoughts are better than negative thoughts.   

You and I have the ability to reject negativity and think positively.

We have negative thoughts about people at work.

…about our jobs.

…about our families.

…about our spouse.

…about our neighbors.

…about our future.

…about our health.

…about one another.

…about the utilities company.

…about our finances…

Negative thoughts about others weigh us with suspicions, doubts, and anger. Negative thoughts about ourselves weigh us down with poor self-image. But thinking positively can make such a great difference in our lives. I think that is why Paul challenged these early followers of Jesus to think about POSITIVE things:

Philippians 4:8 

8  And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Paul’s message is simple:

YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR THOUGHT LIFE!

If you want to change your life, it starts with changing the way you think. 

Before changing our lives, we must realize that real change begins in our minds.

• If you want to break a bad habit, it starts in your mind.

• If you want to improve your marriage, it starts in your mind.

• If you want to change how you talk to your kids, that change starts in your mind.

Our thought life is the foundation of everything we do. In fact, everything we do and say is a result of our thoughts. You being here today? It’s a result of your thoughts. At some point, you said, “I’m going to church this weekend.” 

So,  

If you want to change:

addictions

loneliness

anxiety

fear

criticism

negativity

communication

relationships

Paul tells us to fix our minds on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Rather than thinking bad thoughts about your family, your co-workers, your relationships, your children, your future…

Start thinking POSITIVE thoughts. Rather than living with fear…live positively filled with hope.

Now look, if a Doctor has diagnosed you with depression or anxiety and has prescribed meds – keep following the advice of your Doctor.  Stay on your medication – but do the hard work to, and tell your brain to think positively.

And, there is always the “Negative Nancy and the Debbie Downer.” 

They try to defend their negative opinions about others by saying, “I’m just trying to be realistic and honest.” They say something bad about the person, and then they say, “Bless their heart.”

But there is a problem with that. Our opinion about others can be wrong!

We are told in Proverbs:

Proverbs 3:5 (NLT) 

5  Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 

Our understanding can be way off! We like to think we’ve got it all figured out, but how often are we wrong? I’ll give you an example…

One day, I used my brain and thought, “The car needs an oil change.” So, I took my car to where I always take it – and they scanned the code and told me I had never been there before. They kind of suggested I was wrong about having been there before – so in my pride, my thoughts said, “I’ll just change it myself.”  

Trust me, that was a bad thought that led to a bad decision! I drove to O’Reilly’s and bought 5 quarts of oil, an oil filter, and an oil filter wrench.  Even though it had been 25 years since I changed my own oil, I would prove to myself I could still do it.  

(I don’t need some oil change place to do it for me…)

I put the car's front end up on jackstands inside the garage, I lay underneath the car, and I immediately thought of a friend’s dad who died when he was changing the oil in his car, and the car fell on him. So, I climbed back out – examined the jack stands, shook the car a few times…, and climbed back under the car…still weary of the jacks.

Then Kristy came out and said, “I just keep thinking about that man who died…”

I thanked Kristy for the encouragement. I turned that oil pan bolt loose and the oil flowed down my arms, hands and into my hair. For the next two days, my coffee tasted like oil. One prideful, stubborn thought led to a poor decision. GOD does not want you and I to depend upon our understanding because we are LIMITED in our understanding.  

Like we talked about last week. We do not see the big picture like He does.  Our assumptions, suspicions, and conclusions are often WRONG. But when we gain control of our thoughts and begin to think about what is good, right, pure, excellent and worthy of praise, we will discover that…

GODLY THINKING LEADS TO GODLY LIVING AND GOD’S PRESENCE

After Paul told these believers to control their thought lives, he then began to point to himself as an example to follow:

Look at verse 9. 

Philippians 4:9 

9  Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. 

Paul was now pointing at his own life. 

The way he lived.  

The admired Paul.

They respected Paul.

They valued his wisdom and understanding.

And the reason they did is because Paul allowed the Spirit of God to direct his thought life.  Godly thinking leads to Godly living. If you want to experience the presence of God in your relationships, have a better attitude toward those around you!

(This is why it is so important for followers of Jesus to read the Bible and talk to Jesus.  The more time we spend with Him, the more we become like Him.)

So, what do we do with those negative thoughts when they creep in? When Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, he addressed thoughts that kept people from experiencing a life-changing relationship with Jesus.

He said:

2 Corinthians 10:5  

We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.

Paul was speaking about the rebellious thoughts of others. These rebellious thoughts were keeping others from coming to know Christ as Savior. He was “capturing” their thoughts and teaching them to obey Christ.

So, what do we do with the thoughts that pull us down or keep us from experiencing the peace God promises? 

First, we acknowledge them. Then, we capture them. We ask God to help us replace them with His truth. Paul's life wasn't easy. He had every reason to focus on the negative, but instead, he fixed his mind on what is true, honorable, and worthy of praise. 

And we can do the same. The key to real change in our lives starts with how we think. Maybe you're sitting here today and tired of the same negative patterns playing repeatedly in your mind. Maybe you're ready for a change in your relationships, your habits, or how you see yourself. 

When negative thoughts creep in, don't ignore them—capture them. Stop. Ask God to help you replace them with His truth. Find one thing—just one—that you can praise God for in that moment. And as you keep doing this, watch how God transforms your heart, mind, and life.

Philippians - Prayer & Peace

Last week we looked at the first few verses of chapter 4 and dealt with conflict. Today we are dealing with Prayer.

Let’s read together:

Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT2) 

4  Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5  Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. 6  Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 

First, understand from this passage that “Asking God for things” is His idea! And…

GOD INVITES YOU TO ASK ANYTHING

Philippians 4:6 (NLT2) 

6  Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

I grew up in a dysfunctional home. My dad was an alcoholic with a terrible temper. When I would ask him for something, I would usually get yelled at.

“You don’t take care of what you have now.”

“You freaking kids are driving me up a wall.”

When I asked for something, it always seemed to bother him. But you don’t bother God when you ask him for anything.  You do not burden God by asking him to meet the needs in your life. God thinks the world of you. He loves the sound of your voice. He loves it when you tell him what you need and when you thank Him for what he has already done. And, God does not want you to worry.

As he is chained up between two prison guards, under house arrest, Paul tells the Philippians believers not to worry about anything. If anybody had problems to worry about, it was Paul! He didn’t know how long he would be under house arrest. He couldn’t get outside the house to earn any money for his food or apartment. But Paul understood that God invited him to pray about everything rather than worry. 

Throughout the Bible, God tells us over and over again not to worry:

1 Peter 5:7 (NLT2) 

7  Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 

John 14:1 (NLT2) 

1  “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.

John 14:27 (NLT2) 

27  “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. 

Over 365 times in the Bible God tells his people not to be afraid and not to worry.

Do you know why? Because we worry! I know there are so many things going on in your life for you to worry about.

Maybe you worry that you aren’t doing a good job parenting your kids.

Maybe you worry that the lab results from last week are going to indicate you have cancer.

Maybe you worry that your child is getting bullied at school…or bullying somebody.

Maybe you are worried your child is spending too much time on devices.

Maybe you are worried you didn’t start early enough to save for retirement.

Maybe you are worried about how you will make ends meet every month.

Maybe you are worried about finding a future husband or wife.

But God doesn’t want you to worry about one single thing.  Rather, he invites you to ask him for anything. You can write down the list of things you worry about in your life, then turn that into your prayer list and watch God begin to meet your needs and answer your prayers.  As he answers your prayers, thank Him for what he does in your life. And God makes a very special promise to us in Philippians 4:7.

Philippians 4:7 (NLT2) 

7  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 

This is one of the most amazing promises we have been given in scripture…As a Pastor, I can tell you PEACE is the number one thing people seek. 

PEACE is what people hunger and crave.

If you are single, you want PEACE.

If you are a parent, you want PEACE.

If you are overwhelmed, discouraged, or abandoned – you want PEACE.

And every one of us can leave today with PEACE that exceeds anything we understand.

Because…

WHEN WE ASK, WE EXPERIENCE PEACE

This is a PROMISE.  Remember, If you read and apply God’s Word He will change your life.  

God wants you to experience peace. When our children were younger and upset, crying, worried, or frightened, I was always amazed when they climbed into our laps and we held them, how much they calmed down. Our presence, our touch, brought them peace. God is your Heavenly Father who wants you to have peace when you are troubled. God knows the impact of sin in our lives.  He understands the pain that was brought into the world because of sin.  He knows we get troubled by disease, diagnosis, and death. He knows we worry about our future and the future of our children.

Because he is a GOOD parent, he wants to bless you with PEACE.

And, because he is a GOOD parent, that may be the reason why he hasn’t given you what you have asked for from Him. It’s not because he doesn’t love you that he hasn’t given you what you have asked; it is because he knows what will happen to you if he lets you win the Mega-Million Lottery.

And whether God provided it to you or not, He still gave you peace. And that peace He gave let you make it through the storm. That’s because God is a GOOD Dad and a GOOD GOD.

Listen to the words of Jesus from Matthew:

Matthew 7:9-11 (NLT2) 

9  “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10  Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11  So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.

If your child was hungry and asked for something to eat, would you give him a rock?

If your child wanted a pet, would you give him a rattlesnake?

Only if we were bad parents.  

And, the things you ask for that you think are good for you may actually cause harm for you in the long run. God will only give what you ask for if it will be good for you.  He sees the big picture.  He saw you before you drew your first breath of air after you were born, and he knows when you will take your last breath. He sees your beginning and end, and he knows how to bless you in between.

 Psalm 139:16 (NLT2) 

16  You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 

God is not like a bad dad.  He wants to bless his children.  God is sinless – and even more than you or I could ever comprehend…

GOD KNOWS HOW TO BLESS BETTER THAN YOU!

We think we know what is best for us all the time.

I do.

I ask God for the things I think are best for me and for my family.

I ask God to heal my children of disease.  

He hasn’t yet.  

So.

I trust his character.  I trust that he knows how to bless better than me.  I trust that since God has seen their beginning and end, Type One Diabetes is part of his plan to BLESS them because He is not going to give anything that will harm them, including taking away this disease. But, I haven’t always understood why God says, “No.”

Kristy and I struggled for 6 years with infertility.  Then, when she finally became pregnant, our hearts erupted with joy.  Seriously, my chest swelled up with pride.  The happiness and excitement I felt could not be expressed. Then, ten weeks into her first trimester…the spotted bleeding began.

I began praying, “God, please. Let our baby live!”

But a few days later, we drove home from the hospital after our baby died. I sang and worshipped, but I was so hurt that God did not answer my prayer and give me what I wanted. 

Then, about a year later, Kristy became pregnant again, and I held my spiritual breath.  I couldn’t talk to God.  I was afraid to ask him to let this baby be born.  I didn’t want to experience the same joy and pride I felt with our first pregnancy.

And then, God blessed.

On November 5, 2007, God gave us the most beautiful baby I had ever seen up until that point in my life.  He blessed us with our firstborn daughter, Sofia Lynn. And then he blessed us with Naomi in 2009. And he blessed us with Violet in 2011. And he blessed us with Jessie in 2013.

And then, we bought a TV for the bedroom and stopped having children.

But sometimes, when God does not give us what we ask for, we are like children; we throw a temper tantrum and say, “Fine – I’m not talking to you.”  

We stop praying.  

We stop going to church. 

We hold our spiritual breath.

We shut ourselves off from him.  We say things like, “I tried that church thing…”

But maybe, just maybe, we didn’t try that friendship with Jesus. PRAYER is a relationship where the BATTLE FOR OUR FAITH is fought. Prayer will transform our lives because it keeps us in a relationship with Jesus. If we persist in our prayer lives – even when we do not get our way, God will BLESS us with PEACE that surpasses all understanding.  

As I close, here is what God’s BLESSING may look like from a child’s perspective. Imagine a kid who loves their tablet or gaming console. They're obsessed with the bright screen, the fun apps, the games. They think it’s the best thing ever, and all they talk about is playing on that device. 

One day, the parents say, “We’re going to take you on a special trip — to a national park with mountains, rivers, and endless space to explore.” But the child gets mad, throws a fit, and says, "I want to stay home and play on my tablet!"

The parents decide to take the kid to the national park anyway. As soon as they arrive, the kid’s attitude changes. They forget all about the tablet and are amazed by the beauty and adventure around them. You and I are like that kid sometimes. We think we know what’s best for us. We get comfortable with the small things we know. But God is trying to take us somewhere bigger and better, offering something greater than what we can see.

Are you trusting God to bless you with something better, or are you holding onto what feels comfortable and familiar, missing the adventure He has in store for you? Jesus taught us to pray, “Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done.”  It is time to allow God to change your desires.  

Today, will you ask for HIS blessings instead of yours?

Philippians - Settling Disagreements

Today, we get to look at Paul’s advice to two women who had a problem with each other.  That’s right, today we are talking about…women.

Two women…who couldn’t get along with each other. 

If the church should be known for excelling in anything, it ought to be setting the standard in resolving conflict. Unfortunately, many people associate the local church with division and hurt.

In fact, a common reason people do not attend church today, is because of the “church hurt” they've experienced from leadership or others within the church. People who do not attend church often say the church is filled with hypocrites, and they do not trust church leadership.  

Been there.

My first lead Pastor position was a church in Richmond, VA, and the church had been rocked by scandal.  Believing the Lord had called us there – I accepted the invitation to serve as their lead pastor.  Seven weeks later, I learned that the BOARD had been deceptive about their finances (the President had used the church as collateral and had taken out a $500,000 loan.) Within three days of discovering that information – I was fired, and the firing made Christian News Headlines. 

How humiliating. I know how painful it is to be hurt by the church.

Conflict happens in the church.  It happens in every area of our lives.

It happens inside our families.

It happens at work.

It happens in marriage.

It happens in the church.

Conflict goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden when Adam blamed Eve because he ate the forbidden fruit.

Conflict is a life thing. 

Family road trips begin with, “This will be fun, let’s make memories!” and the memories made are the kind when Dad finally pulls over the van and walks three miles to the next stop.

So, when you have conflict in your life, whether it’s at home, at work, or even in the church, accept that conflict is part of being human. 

In Philippians 4, Paul addresses these two women. These women had once worked together to lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus, but now they were mad at each other. 

Let’s read:

Philippians 4:2-3 (NLT2) 

2  Now I appeal to Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement. 3  And I ask you, my true partner, to help these two women, for they worked hard with me in telling others the Good News. They worked along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are written in the Book of Life. 

The first thing I want us to understand about conflict is this.  (Write this down in your life notes.)

DISAGREEMENTS ARE HEALTHY; DIVISION IS NOT.

Disagreements will happen in every relationship. 

We can disagree on how to squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom or mangle it in the middle. We can disagree on whether we drink our coffee black or cream. We can disagree on political views. We can disagree and engage in debate on anything and everything we want.

Disagreements are healthy if we listen to one another and appreciate the differences. Division happens when one person or side is so bent on being “right” that people are forced to take sides…get angry…and start shouting their opinions. When disagreements fester, they turn into division, and division can destroy a marriage, a family, a business, a corporation, a nation, and a church.

At Beach Church, we have five essential beliefs that we ask everybody to agree with in order to join the church:

1. The Bible is the inerrant, inspired Word of God that tells us what to believe and how to live.

2. There is one God, revealed in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

3. Jesus Christ came in the flesh born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died on the cross to pay for our sins, was raised from the dead, ascended into Heaven, and will come again to judge the living and the dead.

4. All people are sinners and need the grace of God.

5. Salvation is only through faith in Jesus.

That’s it.

What about other doctrinal issues?  They are important, but they are not essential.  They are important, but they are not worth dividing a church over.

These Five?  They are worth maintaining harmony over.

The rest of our statement of faith? While important – not essential. You can disagree with your professors at school – but on the exam – give them the answer they expect you to give back.  

You can disagree with your parents about the cleanliness of your room – but clean your room when you are asked because harmony in your family is more important.  And your dad has seriously considered using a flame thrower to clean it. Division occurs when individuals are either unwilling or unable to yield their convictions to accommodate the preferences of others. 

A historical example is Prohibition in the 1920s. For the record, I was not alive in the 1920’s. In case you do not know, there was a period in the 1920s when Alcohol was banned as a beverage.  You couldn’t make it, sell it, or drink it. On one side, Americans were deeply convinced that banning alcohol was the right thing to do. They believed alcohol was morally wrong and harmful to society. On the other hand, other Americans viewed alcohol as a personal choice and a part of social life, and they resisted any government interference in their ability to consume it. They did stunts and said, “Hold my beer.”

Mobsters organized, set up distilleries and produced liquor. They sold beer, moonshine, and liquor in the back rooms of pharmacies, restaurants, and alleyways. Government agencies established specific police forces to combat liquor trafficking across state lines. There were shootouts, mob wars, and card games! Eventually, the Government threw in the towel and brought back alcohol with the 21st Amendment because they understood that disagreement is healthy, but division is not.

Now, let’s look at verse 2.

UNRESOLVED CONFLICT REFLECTS A LACK OF FAITH 

“Now I appeal to Euodia (yoo-adaya) and Syntyche (soon-tookay). Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement.”

These two women had a serious problem with each other. You have seen this in action before.  Two women start bad-mouthing each other and refuse to work out their differences.

When they gathered for worship, they avoided eye contact.  

When Euodia would pray, Synteche would roll her eyes.

They couldn’t sit together in their life group. 

They wouldn’t eat together at the church brunch.

Whenever their Pastor made a good point, they would glare at them across the room to make sure the other was paying attention.

Their conflict had become so huge – everybody was talking about it, but they refused to settle it. Now, when I disagree with somebody else, (Let’s say my wife) and there is conflict, and I refuse to try to settle the disagreement, it is usually because I want to be right. 

Sometimes, I don’t want to apologize because I want to be right.

Sometimes, I don’t apologize because I am right and the other person is wrong.

Paul knew that when this letter was delivered to the Philippian church and read to them, the church leadership would gather to hear his words, and he knew that these two ladies would be there. So, he addressed the Elephant in the room.

Their conflict had gone unresolved for too long. Paul knew that their refusal to resolve their conflict reflected a lack of faith. Paul said what everybody else wanted to say: “Settle your disagreement because you belong to the Lord.”  

Both of these ladies preferred to be stubborn and prideful rather than demonstrate grace and make allowances for each other’s faults. They each chose to be right rather than love their neighbor as themselves. They preferred to create division rather than seek harmony. 

So Paul “calls them out” for their sin in front of the whole church! For the next 2,000 years, every New Testament church would read about their stubbornness, bitterness, and pride. As followers of Jesus, refusing to resolve conflicts, especially within the church, reveals what we really believe about Jesus. Because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreements with other people.

Call that HOA up and work out your disagreement.

Call your adult child who still refuses to talk to you and work out that disagreement. 

Why? Because you belong to the Lord, and that is reason enough.

Then, it is clear that Paul knew these two sweet ladies needed somebody else to sit down with them to help settle the disagreement that was causing division in the church.

He writes:

“And I ask you, my true partner, to help these two women, for they worked hard with me in telling others the Good News. They worked along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are written in the Book of Life.”

Paul requested that a specific person sit down with these two ladies and help them resolve their disagreement. So, when you hear rumors regarding people and conflict, choose to…

BE A PEACEMAKER, NOT A POT STIRRER

When I was in High School, I was a pot stirrer. When guys had beef with each other, I talked about it. I told others about it. I was in the crowd and would say things like, “He said your momma was fat.”   “He thinks you won’t hit him. He thinks you are too scared…”

I was a pot stirrer.

But since I became a follower of Jesus, I have changed.

If you are a follower of Jesus. By that, I mean If you believed that Jesus paid the price for your sin on the cross, that he died, rose from the dead, and will one day return, and because you believe, you surrendered your life to Jesus and received Christ as your Savior…

You have changed, too.  You are no longer a pot stirrer.  You are called to be a peacemaker.

2 Corinthians 5:18b-21 (NLT2) 

And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. 19  For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20  So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” 

As followers of Jesus, we have an assignment to be a peacemaker. First, we are to be inviting people to be reconciled with God. And we are to invite people to reconcile with each other.  When we hear of conflict and disagreement, we should step in to bring resolution and peace, not to get the juiciest gossip we can get.  Not to find out the dirt but to help each other resolve and get clean. We are not helping keep peace by ignoring conflict. Rather, if we do not work toward resolving conflict, we are allowing conflict to create division. 

When we ignore conflict, we invite division. Division in a church is a terrible thing because…

MISSION ALWAYS MATTERS MORE

At one time, Euodia and Syntyche served arm in arm, telling others about Jesus. They worked with Paul. Maybe they helped him set up tents, maybe they helped him bring relief to people who were struggling with disaster, or maybe they traveled with him for some of his mission trips.  

In whatever ways they had served in the past, Paul considered them partners in inviting other people to trust Jesus as their savior. But now, their disagreement with each other took precedence over leading people to Jesus. Our Mission to Lead People to a Life-Changing relationship with Jesus always matters more. Disagreements should never reach a level that creates division and prevents people from hearing about the life-changing truth of Jesus. 

There is always a friend, a mother, a sister, a brother, and a neighbor who is “this close” to trusting Jesus. We must jump in as peacemakers when necessary because other people always need to hear about Jesus. We are to be like Jesus, seeking to bring reconciliation and forgiveness to a world in need of him.

Philippians - My Story, My Strength

I grew up thinking my testimony wasn't powerful. I never fell into addiction or got caught up in the wrong crowd. But when I looked at others' stories of rock-bottom experiences and miraculous recoveries, I felt my own seemed insignificant.

For the longest time, I believed my story had no power. That was until I started to share it. You see, when we share our testimonies and allow God to work through them, that's when the true power lies.

My story begins on June 5th, 2001. I was born into a loving, Italian family, but life wasn't always easy. I was born with a double cleft lip and palate, requiring numerous surgeries. Then, around 2008, my dad lost his job, causing financial strain and putting a strain on my parents' marriage. I observed from afar, wondering how this would affect me and my siblings.

To make matters worse, I was bullied terribly throughout elementary school. My appearance made me stand out, and I was a target. Amidst all this, my mom started taking us to church. I didn't understand much at first, but it became a refuge for us.

As my parents separated, I found solace in playing basketball and joining Boy Scouts. However, a turning point came when my dad told me I was a mistake and worthless.

For the next three years, I carried that weight, shutting down and feeling lost. But my mom's unwavering faith and my experiences at church and summer camp began to chip away at that negativity. One day, at a conference, I heard someone share their similar story of abandonment and found a deep connection. It was there that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. My life transformed. I discovered my true identity in Christ and found purpose in serving others. I met my wife, Chelsea, and we started a family.

Reflecting on My Journey

Looking back, I can see how each challenge, each setback, was a stepping stone towards the person I am today. It wasn't about avoiding pain or hardship, but about learning to navigate them with faith and resilience.

• The power of vulnerability: Sharing my story has been incredibly liberating. It's allowed me to connect with others who have faced similar challenges and offer them hope.

• God's purpose in pain: Even the most difficult experiences can have a divine purpose. My struggles led me to faith and a deeper understanding of God's love.

• The importance of community: Surrounding myself with supportive people has made a world of difference. My family, friends, and church community have been my pillars of strength.

• The transformative power of faith: Jesus Christ has been my anchor, offering me hope, peace, and a sense of belonging.

If you're facing challenges today, know that you're not alone. Your story has value, and it can inspire others. Don't be afraid to share your journey, to be vulnerable, and to seek support.

Remember, your identity is not defined by your past mistakes or present struggles. It is found in Jesus Christ, the one who loves you unconditionally.

Philippians - Resurrection Power

I read a lot of storybooks to the girls when they were little.  

One of the stories I read to the girls was about a dad and his daughter. One night, as Dad is tucking in his little girls, he asks her if there is anything else he can get for her before he turns off the light. She answered and said, “Yes, Daddy. I want the moon.”  

So, Daddy patted her on the head, took a ladder to the highest mountain, leaned the ladder into the sky, climbed to the top, grabbed the moon, and brought it to her. She slept with the moon that night.  From that day forward, wherever she went, she brought the moon with her.

She raced with the moon. She played catch with the moon. She tossed it, bounced it, and caught it. But something peculiar happened to the moon the more she played with it.  The more his daughter played with the moon, the smaller the moon became.  The more she treated the moon like a toy, the smaller it became. The more she played with the moon, the more it shrank until it was just a sliver. In the same way, sometimes followers of Jesus experience something similar regarding Jesus. 

The more “familiar” we become with Jesus, the more we take Him for granted. 

For many, pressing in and growing in a relationship with Jesus is not as important as it once. Instead of trying to understand his greatness, we become content with a mediocre image of Jesus. Instead of being the Lord of our lives, Jesus becomes merely an addition—something else we add to our lives to give us balance. Today, I want to invite you to be open to the fact that Jesus is more grand and more awesome than you can imagine.  

Let’s read together:

SHOW ON SCREEN:

Philippians 3:10-16 (NLT2) 

10  I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11  so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! 12  I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13  No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. 15  Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. 16  But we must hold on to the progress we have already made. 

Verses 10 and 11 should fascinate us because Paul said he wanted to know Christ Jesus. Paul had surrendered his life to Jesus, but he understood that…

SURRENDERING IS BEGINNING TO LIVE BY HIS RESURRECTION POWER

Paul was already saved.  He had already been transformed by Jesus on the Road to Damascus. Paul viewed "knowing" Jesus not only as a moment where he was made right with God but also as a moment when he began to experience the resurrection power in every nook and cranny of his life. The more the Apostle Paul “pressed into” his relationship with Jesus, the larger Jesus became. Rather than shrinking, his perspective of Jesus grew larger and larger. The more challenges he faced, his perspective of Jesus grew more grand.

Sometimes, followers of Jesus “retreat” when they face challenges and life gets hard.  Because God doesn’t answer their prayers, Jesus must not be as big as they thought he was.

Instead of shrinking away, the Apostle Paul leaned in closer to Jesus. He knew that every trial, every hardship, was an opportunity to experience more of Jesus' power and presence. Paul didn't settle for a small view of Jesus; he wanted to know Him more deeply, to experience the fullness of His resurrection power in every aspect of his life. As we read Paul's words in Philippians 3, we see a man who was relentless in his pursuit of Christ. He wasn’t content with knowing Jesus from yesterday; he wanted to experience Him in the today. Paul knew that the more he pressed into his relationship with Jesus, the more he would see how grand, magnificent, and life-changing Jesus is.

For us today, the challenge is the same. 

Are we content with a small, comfortable view of Jesus, or are we willing to press in, to know Him more, and to experience the fullness of His power in our lives? Are we ready to let go of the past, to forget what lies behind, and to reach forward to what lies ahead?

Let go of the past, and experience the resurrection power of Jesus working fully in your life.

If you are controlled by fear, doubt, or insecurity, it is because you have been hurt by something in your past. If you want to experience the full resurrection power of Jesus working in your life, forget the past and reach forward to what is ahead! If Jesus is more than an addition to our lives, if Jesus is everything to us, then, we must let him transform every area of our lives. Paul's words remind us that surrendering to Jesus is not just a one-time event; it’s a daily choice to live by His resurrection power. The more we trust and lean into Jesus during difficult times, the more we see how amazing Jesus truly is. Paul described the grandness and supremacy of Jesus when he wrote to the Colossian church.  

He wrote:

Colossians 1:15-21 (NLT2) 

15  Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, 16  for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see— such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him. 17  He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together. 18  Christ is also the head of the church, which is his body. He is the beginning, supreme over all who rise from the dead. So he is first in everything. 19  For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, 20  and through him God reconciled everything to himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of Christ’s blood on the cross. 21  This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. 

In this passage, we see that Jesus is:

• Image of the invisible God

• He existed before creation

• The cause of all of creation

• Supreme over all creation

• He holds all creation together

• He is the source and head of the church

• He made peace with God through His Blood. 

All of history streams from Jesus and points to Jesus.  He is the beginning and the source of everything we see and can’t see. He designed the molecular structure of cellular life.

Wrap your mind around this thought for a few minutes:

THERE WAS NEVER A MOMENT WHEN JESUS WAS NOT.

There was never a moment when Jesus was not. He is eternal, without beginning or end, the Alpha and Omega. If you had not had a moment when you began, you could not exist today. If Jesus had a moment when he began, he could not be God.

Jesus is not presented as a part of God’s creation, or as a child of God, but as the Chief of God’s family…Chief in creation.  Chief of redemption.  He is before creation.  He is the cause of creation.  He is the leader of the whole family.  In every way CHRIST is FIRST. Jesus as supreme, the highest authority over all. That means you can trust Him completely. Jesus has the power and wisdom to guide every aspect of your life.  

He's not a distant figure or just a historical leader. He is actively involved in sustaining and directing the universe, including your personal journey. Nothing in our lives is beyond His reach. He holds all things together, including the challenges we face, the decisions we make, and the path we walk.

So, when you feel overwhelmed in your marriage. When you feel overwhelmed in your singleness. When you feel lonely, discouraged, or afraid. When it seems like everything you have worked hard to achieve has collapsed around you. You can rest in the truth that Jesus is in control. He is the beginning. He is the end.  And He is everything in between. When you surrendered your life to Jesus, it wasn’t to balance out good with bad. “Jesus is Lord” means that…

JESUS IS NOT A BALANCER; HE IS ALL-CONSUMING

Paul understood that Jesus was more than a balancer. He understood that Jesus did not come to bring a little bit of truth to his life.  A sliver of hope. A sliver of peace. A sliver of transformation. Paul understood that Jesus came to transform and regenerate every molecule of your life, including your decisions regarding your dating relationships.

Your decisions about parenting. Your decisions about your finances. Your decisions about marriage. Your decisions to grow in self-control. To be more than a father. More than a brother. More than a sister.

Jesus came for a complete transformation of your life. He does not want to bring balance to your life – he wants you to be consumed with a love for Him that changes every relationship and every decision you make.

He has existed eternally – he was not created from the dust of the earth.

He is Creator.
He is Redeemer.
He is Sustainer.
He is the Breath Giver.
He is the Light Maker.
He is the Divine Healer.
He is the Soul Saver.
He is Truth.
He is Justice.
He is Compassion.
He is Merciful.
He is the Prince of Peace.
He is the Mighty One.
He is the King of Kings.
He is Almighty.
He is Everlasting.
He is Alpha.
He is Omega.
He is a Consuming Fire.
He is the Word.
He holds all creation together.
He is as close as your next breath.
He is trillions and trillions of miles through the furthest galaxy.
He is my rebuker.
He is my corrector.
He is the Encourager.
He is the Comforter.
He is the Forgiver of sin.
He is the doorway to Heaven.
He is closer than a brother.
He is a lamp unto my feet.
He is a light unto my path.
He gives me guidance.
He gives words of life.
He is the Way.
He is the Truth.
He is the Doorway to peace.
He is the Master of all life.
He walked in the Garden of Eden.
He spoke from the burning bush.
He is the Breath Taker.
He is the Promise Maker.
He is the Promise Keeper.
He is unstoppable.
He cannot be quenched.
He is always and forever.
He takes delight in you.
He is your joy.
His love never changes.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
He must increase.
I must decrease.
His birth was miraculous.
His death a tragic necessity.
His resurrection proof that He was God in the flesh.
The very image and likeness of God.
He is coming back.
He is coming back.
He will return.
He is my Jesus.
And He is Lord of all.

He is a consuming fire.  He is the Alpha and Omega – the beginning and the end.  He desires to take over and control every aspect of your and my lives – and he is not thrilled about merely being an addition.  He wants to be your everything.  

Do not settle for a past knowledge of Christ. 

Let’s press on, just as Paul did, to know Him more deeply, allowing His resurrection power to transform every part of our lives.

Philippians - Faith Alone

In today’s passage, Paul turns his attention toward people who were sharing the good news about Jesus, but insisted that if a person wanted to become a follower of Jesus, placing their faith in Jesus was NOT enough.

They were teaching that:

• if a person wanted to receive forgiveness for their sins 

• if a person wanted to be born again and get a second chance at life through the forgiveness of sins

• If a person wanted to experience a life-changing relationship with Jesus – 

faith was NOT enough.

As you follow along in your Bible, I will be reading from the New Living Translation.  

Let’s read together:

Philippians 3:1-11 (NLT2) 

1  Whatever happens, my dear brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord. I never get tired of telling you these things, and I do it to safeguard your faith. 2  Watch out for those dogs, those people who do evil, those mutilators who say you must be circumcised to be saved. 3  For we who worship by the Spirit of God are the ones who are truly circumcised. We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort, 4  though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more! 5  I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. 6  I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault. 7  I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8  Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9  and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10  I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11  so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! 

You might notice that Paul used some rather harsh words here. Paul called these people who were telling other people about Jesus “Dogs and mutilators” because they were leading people to Jesus – then they were instructing them to get circumcised. 

In the Old Testament, circumcision was proof that a man was an Israelite – God’s chosen people. Why God decided that circumcision was going to be the identifying mark for Israelite men – I have no idea.  Can you imagine what went through the Israelite’s mind? 

“You want me to cut what with that knife?”

The first thing I want to point out is that Paul reminds the Philippian believers that…

LIFE CHANGE DOES NOT HAPPEN BY BEING GOOD

Yet – that is what was happening now for some people:

• after they trusted by faith that Jesus had died on the cross to pay the penalty for their sin. 

• After by faith, they believed that Jesus rose from the dead. 

• After by faith, they surrendered their lives to Jesus – 

Now, essentially, these men were telling these New Believers that if they were really committed followers of Jesus, they needed to prove it through circumcision. Since the earliest days of Christianity, people have been trying to corrupt the gift of salvation that comes through trusting in Jesus for the forgiveness of sins…and teaching that FAITH in God’s Grace is not enough.

But, maybe you grew up in a church that taught forgiveness of sins needed to be earned.  

• Maybe you were taught to attend church because you will go to hell if you don’t.

• Maybe you were taught to give 10% of your income because you will go to hell if you don’t.

• Maybe you were told to read your bible every day to make God happy.

• Maybe you were told to pray to God every day to keep God happy…

Maybe you were taught that you were made right with GOD by doing GOOD things.

Paul wrote that he was the best at “being good,” and it was worthless. He writes:

Philippians 3:4-6 (NLT2) 

4  though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more! 5  I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. 6  I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault. 

Paul told the Philippians that nobody was more passionate about OBEYING the OT LAW and doing good works than him—and now it was all meaningless and pointless because he had surrendered his life to Jesus. When it comes to being born-again and made new – it is by FAITH alone in Jesus. If it is “Jesus and anything else…” that is not pure faith.  

It is not Jesus and church attendance.

It is not Jesus and tithing.

It is not Jesus and reading your bible.

It is not Jesus and praying the right things.

We are not saved by Jesus AND anything else.  Not baptism. Not serving. Nothing.

That’s why Paul sounds so angry in that passage. 

He calls these people DOGS. These men angered Paul because they were actually preventing people from experiencing a life-changing relationship with Jesus. Can you imagine an evangelist showing up at your door, telling you about Jesus, then handing you a knife and saying, “Get ‘er done?”  

NO THANK YOU!

Then, after Paul lists his accomplishments that amounted to nothing but garbage, he says in verse 8

Philippians 3:8 (NLT2) 

8  Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ

If you can, I want you to underline or circle two words in verse 8: KNOWING and at the very end, GAIN. Paul GAINED Christ. Paul considered all the good stuff garbage because he had already received the ultimate prize: gaining a relationship with God through Jesus. 

When I surrendered my life to Jesus in 1991, I gained Christ. Because I have gained Christ, I do not fear that I must do more good than bad in order to get into heaven. Paul GAINED Jesus after the Road to Damascus. I GAINED Jesus in 1991.

Let me ask you a question:

WHEN DID YOU GAIN CHRIST?

Maybe you were a child, and you gained Jesus.

Maybe you walked an aisle and surrendered your life to Jesus and gained Christ.

Maybe you were watching a televangelist on TV and gained Christ.

Maybe you were listening to a podcast and gained Christ.

Maybe you were driving down the road listening to a radio DJ and gained Christ.

Maybe you were at a conference, you raised your hand, and you gained Christ.

Maybe you were sitting in worship service last weekend, and you gained Christ.

Answer the question: When did I GAIN Christ? Not my spouse, not my kids, not my parents. And if your answer is, “I haven’t, but I want to,” I have some great news for you! You can today! 

Then, you will experience the same sentiment that Paul had when he said, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” It had been years since Jesus ascended into Heaven, but Paul described his relationship with Jesus as PRESENT TENSE.  

Paul, in the PRESENT TENSE, knew Jesus.  While he was in house arrest – he talked to the Roman Guards, and he talked to Jesus.  

Jesus was his friend in the present.

Jesus was his Savior in the present.

Jesus was his helper in the present.

Jesus was his strength in the present.

Jesus was his GUIDE in the present.

When it comes to Knowing Jesus, we need to remember that…

KNOWING IS GROWING

When Paul used the word KNOWING and to KNOW in verses 8-10, the word he used came from the root word, which meant to KNOW intimately as a husband and wife know one another. When you exchange vows with your spouse and become husband and wife, that is just the beginning of getting to know one another.  

You GAINED a SPOUSE…but did you really KNOW your spouse? Kristy and I will be married for 25 years this December. If you had asked me then if “I knew Kristy,” I would have said yes. Yet, we still learn something about one another almost every single day.  Imagine if, 25 years ago, I made a commitment to my wife – and then stopped trying to grow in my relationship with her.  

Imagine if I stopped praying for her. If I stopped being kind and courteous. If I stopped listening and conversing with her…We may still be married, but our relationship would be distant and lonely.

The commitment you made when you surrendered your life to Jesus is a life-long commitment that requires you to grow in your relationship with Him. The commitment you made yesterday is not enough to follow Jesus today. We must continue to grow, to learn, to trust, to follow Jesus.

Let me encourage you to sign up for Grow class on September 15.  We want to help you have the tools to GROW in your friendship with Jesus so that you can say like the Apostle Paul said – NOTHING else matters but knowing Christ. Finally, as we grow in our friendship with Jesus, God brings us to a point where we get comfortable with the fact that…

WE WILL DIE AND RISE!

Philippians 3:10-11 (NLT2) 

10  I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11  so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! 

Paul must have been thinking that the end of his life could be near as he sat under house arrest, in chains, day after day, with Roman Guards watching over him. But Paul held out hope in Jesus that even if he should die, he would rise and be with Jesus.

If you are like me, talking and thinking about our own DEATH or the DEATH of somebody we love is uncomfortable.  But one of the changes that happen to us as we GROW in our relationship with Jesus, is that we become more comfortable talking about death. The Bible teaches us repeatedly – that followers of Jesus who have been forgiven for their sin – will one day RISE and live forever with God in Heaven.

1 Corinthians 15:52 (NLT2) 

52  It will happen in a moment, in the blink of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For when the trumpet sounds, those who have died will be raised to live forever. 

I am grateful that all those who have placed their faith in Jesus to forgive them for their sins – will experience Eternal Life in Heaven with the king of Kings and Lord of Lords. I do not know what Heaven will be like – but I do know that there will be no more sorrow, no more pain, and no more tears.

What a wonderful place that will be!

Philippians - Character and Resilience

This past week, I traveled to McKee, Kentucky, to visit my mom and deliver a wheelchair to her to help her get around and make caring for her a little easier for my two sisters. My Mom’s health is failing; she is unable to stand on her own, and she has dementia.  This was the first time I looked into her eyes, and she had no idea who I was. Each time I walked into a room, I had to reintroduce myself and her grandkids to her.

When people we love are hurting or in need, we want to do all we can to help bring relief. When we care for people who are going through the hard times that life brings, we want them to know that we love them, that they are not alone, and that we want to help in any way we can. When the church in Phillipi heard that Paul was under house arrest in Rome, they cared for him and wanted to help him.

Two thousand years ago, if you were placed under house arrest, you were responsible for paying for your housing, clothing, and food. You couldn’t work outside the house to earn money, so you had to be financially secure enough to cover your expenses during your confinement. Without financial support, Paul could have been transferred to a harsher form of imprisonment. 

To help, the Philippian church took up an offering and sent Epaphroditus to bring it to Paul and support him while he was there. Then, the messenger Epaphroditus became sick and almost died, but he eventually recovered. After his recovery, Paul sent him back to Philippi with a letter, thanking the church for their support and praising Epaphroditus for his dedication.

Let’s read from our text:

Philippians 2:19-29 (NLT2) 

19  If the Lord Jesus is willing, I hope to send Timothy to you soon for a visit. Then, he can cheer me up by telling me how you are getting along. 20  I have no one else like Timothy, who genuinely cares about your welfare. 21  All the others care only for themselves and not for what matters to Jesus Christ. 22  But you know how Timothy has proved himself. Like a son with his father, he has served with me in preaching the Good News. 23  I hope to send him to you just as soon as I find out what is going to happen to me here. 24  And I have confidence from the Lord that I myself will come to see you soon. 25  Meanwhile, I thought I should send Epaphroditus back to you. He is a true brother, co-worker, and fellow soldier. And he was your messenger to help me in my need. 26  I am sending him because he has been longing to see you, and he was very distressed that you heard he was ill. 27  And he certainly was ill; in fact, he almost died. But God had mercy on him—and also on me, so that I would not have one sorrow after another. 28  So I am all the more anxious to send him back to you, for I know you will be glad to see him, and then I will not be so worried about you. 29  Welcome him with Christian love and with great joy, and give him the honor that people like him deserve. 

The first thing we can understand from this passage of scripture is this:

YOUR CHARACTER IS YOUR STORY OF LIFE CHANGE

In this section of his letter, Paul brags about the character of two men – Timothy and Epaphroditus. Timothy's character was described as a man who could cheer others up. He genuinely cared about other people. He cared about what matters most to Jesus. He had proven himself and served alongside Paul in telling others about Jesus. The character of Epaphroditus was described as a true brother. Co-Worker. Fellow Soldier. He was trusted enough to be a messenger carrying a great deal of money to Paul. He cared for the Philippian church – and longed to return to them. When he returned, Paul asked that they give him a hero’s welcome because of his courage and character – he said, “Give him the honor that people like Him deserve.”

Paul knew these two men inside and out.  He knew their character.

And the people around you know your character, too.  This month, we are receiving nominees for Elders from our church family.  If you have a person you would like to nominate to serve as an elder, pick up a nomination form from Guest Central.  They can’t be family, and they can’t be aware you are nominating them.  The Elders will be servants who support the mission and ministries of Beach Church and will have people assigned to their care.  More instructions can be found inside the Elder Nominee forms.

Your character is a significant part of your testimony. 

The way you live, the decisions you make, and how you treat others, reflect the impact that Jesus has had on your life.

When people see consistent integrity, kindness, humility, and selflessness in your actions, they see evidence of your faith in Christ. Your character speaks loudly about what you believe and who you follow. Your character is how others will see Christ in you. 

Are you honest in difficult situations? 

Are you patient with your family in times of stress?

Do you have compassion for a family member or neighbor when they are overwhelmed?

Your character shows the world what it means to be transformed by Jesus.  Your character is your story of life change…

So,

LOVE OTHERS, ALWAYS!

Timothy and Eppy's character was rooted in their love for God and people. They genuinely cared for others, demonstrating this through their selfless service and sacrifice for those around them. They did not love others merely with words.  They showed it by their actions.  

1 John 3:18 (NLT2) 

18  Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

Your character is your story of the life-changing power of Jesus, so failing or falling into sin can be deeply discouraging. Let’s face it—even people with impeccable character fail. So how does a person respond when they realize they have sinned and have not been living up to their calling as a child of God?  

Here’s how you can respond.

WHEN YOU FALL, KEEP GETTING BACK UP

Proverbs 24:16 (NLT2) 

16  The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked. 

If falling into sin and failing others is enough to keep you down, it may be that the power of the Living God is not living inside you.  A godly person may trip, stumble, and fall – but they will continue to rise again because they have the living God inside them. So today, if you are a follower of Jesus and you realize that your life has not been in accordance with what you say you believe and that you have let other people down…

Get. Back. Up.

The godly may trip seven times – but they will get up again. So.

Get. Back. Up.

Do not let your failure define your walk with God.

5 STEPS TO GET UP

1. Get Honest

2. Extend Apologies

3. Think Through the Lesson

4. Use this as Fuel

5. Press On!

First Step: Get Honest. Admit your mistake and own it. Be honest with yourself, God, and others about your failure.  Acknowledging your failure shows humility and a willingness to take responsibility for your actions.

1 John 1:9 (NLT2) 

9  But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

Second Step: Extend Apologies

Seek forgiveness and reconcile. Once you’ve acknowledged your sin, the next step is to seek forgiveness—from God first and then from anyone you’ve wronged. Approach God, trusting in His grace and the forgiveness available through Jesus Christ.

If you’ve let others down, it’s also important to ask for their forgiveness. This might involve a difficult conversation, but it’s a necessary step in restoring relationships.

Third Step: Think through the Lesson

Reflect on what you’ve learned. Godly character learns from mistakes. Reflect on what led to the failure. Set new boundaries, seek accountability, or deepen your spiritual disciplines like prayer and Bible study. 

Fourth Step: Use this as Fuel

Shift your focus toward what’s next.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT2) 

9  Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me. 

Remember that God’s grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in our weakness. Don’t let guilt or shame keep you from moving forward. Handle failure with integrity and reliance on God; you will continue to grow and strengthen your character.

Fifth Step: Press On!

If you have fallen, cling to the promises found in Romans 8

Romans 8:32-35, 37-39 (NLT2) 

If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 33  Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34  Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. 35  Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 37  No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Press on in your calling as a follower of Jesus.

Press on in your calling as a child of God.

Press on in your belief that not one thing can ever separate you for the Love of God.

Get Honest!

Extend Apologies.

Think through the Lesson

Use this as Fuel

And Press On!

Philippians - Positive Impact

Life change is a pursuit that resonates deeply with many of us. We desire better relationships with our spouses, children, siblings, and colleagues. We long to make a positive impact and leave a legacy that extends beyond our time on this earth. This desire often intensifies as we reach significant milestones in our lives. For instance, I'm about to reach a milestone myself in a few days. Now, while I won’t disclose my exact age, I can assure you it’s a point that makes one reflect deeply on the impact of their life.

In our quest for life change, we turn to various sources for guidance. Today, let’s explore what the Apostle Paul, writing from house arrest in Rome, had to say about living impactful lives. His letter to the Philippians offers profound insights into how we can live in a way that makes a lasting difference.

Philippians 2:14-18

Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.

Paul's words in Philippians 2:14-18 challenge us to live without complaining and arguing so that we might shine as lights in a world filled with negativity. He urges us to hold firmly to the word of life, promising that such dedication will result in joy and fulfillment.

"Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people."

Paul emphasizes that our actions and attitudes reflect our faith. Complaining and arguing dim the light of Christ within us, making it harder for others to see the transformative power of God's love. On the contrary, living without grumbling allows our light to shine brightly, guiding others towards Jesus.

The Problem with Grumbling

Grumbling is more than just a bad habit; it signifies a lack of faith. When we complain, we implicitly express doubt in God's sovereignty and goodness. Grumbling suggests that we don’t trust God to navigate us through life’s challenges. It contradicts the belief that all things work together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28).

Consider how often we fall into the trap of grumbling. From minor inconveniences like traffic and slow service to more significant issues, our tendency to complain can overshadow our faith. I’ve noticed this in my own life, especially during my morning walks with my dogs. What should be a joyous activity often turns into a session of frustration and impatience. This behavior not only dims my light but also reveals a lack of trust in God's plan.

Living as Light in the Darkness

To counteract our natural inclination to complain, Paul provides clear instructions. First and foremost, we must live clean and innocent lives, shining like bright lights. This means embodying the principles of our faith in every aspect of our lives.

"Shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people."

Paul's message to the Philippians is timeless. Our world today, much like theirs, is filled with negativity and moral challenges. Yet, it is in this darkness that our light is meant to shine the brightest. Just as stars are more visible away from city lights, our faith stands out in a world clouded by sin.

Practical Steps to Shine Brightly

So, how do we ensure that our light shines brightly? Here are four practical steps based on Paul’s teachings:

1. Live Clean and Innocent Lives: This involves making conscious choices that reflect the values of our faith. We should strive for honesty, kindness, and integrity in all our interactions.

2. Hold Firmly to the Word of Life: Regular engagement with scripture is crucial. By hearing, reading, studying, and memorizing God's word, we strengthen our faith and align our lives with His will.

3. Serve Others Selflessly: Acts of kindness and service demonstrate the love of Christ. When we prioritize others' needs above our own, we embody the selfless nature of Jesus.

4. Cultivate Joy and Gratitude: A grateful heart is less prone to complain. By focusing on our blessings and expressing thanks, we shift our perspective from what’s wrong to what’s right.

Reflecting Christ through Our Actions

Living out these principles transforms our lives and impacts those around us. When people see us responding to life's challenges with faith and positivity, they are drawn to the source of our strength. Our actions can spark curiosity and conversations about faith, leading others to explore a relationship with Jesus.

A Personal Challenge

As I reflect on Paul's message, I realize the importance of examining my own life. Do my actions reflect the light of Christ? Am I known for my faith and positivity, or for my complaints and frustrations? This self-examination is crucial for all of us. We must strive to be the kind of people whose lives point others to Jesus.

In conclusion, life change is a journey that begins with faith and is sustained by our daily actions. By living without complaining, holding firmly to God's word, and letting our light shine, we can make a lasting impact on our world. Let us commit to being beacons of hope and love, reflecting the transformative power of Christ in everything we do.

Philippians - Obedience and Service

Last weekend, we had another double red flag warning, Beach Baptism. About 15 minutes after we began baptisms, a lifeguard blew her whistle and told us to get out of the water.  

So, we waited.

It was not a form of persecution.  She did not chase us out of the water with malice in her heart.  All people had to leave the water up and down the beach because of the rip tide. They were doing their job and trying to keep us safe.

So, we waited.

Because going to a beach for baptism places us under the authority of the lifeguards there.

So, we waited.  Longer than we want to.  And waited.

Finally, the Lifeguard Supervisor agreed that we could continue if two people baptized one person at a time. So, we continued with their blessing. When we were leaving, I thanked the supervisor for allowing us to finish baptizing. Have you noticed that we are often asked to do things we may not want to do? We have to obey four-way stop signs while driving. We are asked to take off our shoes to go through airport scanners. We are asked to show our Sams of Costco card when we enter. Every single day, we are asked to follow others' instructions.

In 1971, the rock group “Five Man Electrical Band” wrote a song complaining about instructions called “Signs.”  Tesla covered it in 1990.  I was reminded of the song as I prepared this sermon today.

Signs, Signs, everywhere there's signs.

Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the signs?

And the sign says, you got to have a membership card to get inside.

In today's passage, the apostle Paul emphasizes that following instructions is extremely important. Let’s read together:

Philippians 2:12-13 (NLT2) 

12  Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. 13  For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. 

The first thing that we discover from this passage is that…

FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS CONVEYS TRUST AND HUMILITY

At the birth of Christianity, the people who surrendered their lives to Jesus did not have Bibles to read, so instead, they clung to what the Apostles taught them. They didn’t know how to follow Jesus – so they listened to the instructions given to them. Paul also made it clear that he had not created the instructions. God chose to use Paul and the Apostles to give us clear instructions on how a follower of Jesus should live. God gave Paul instructions, which he passed on to believers verbally when he was with them and by letter when he was away.

Today, as a follower of Jesus, it still requires great FAITH to believe that the Bible is the infallible Word of God. At the birth of Christianity, believers had to have faith that God was speaking to them through the Apostles, through those who had seen Jesus face to face.  Today, faith is still required to believe that the Bible is the everlasting perfect Word of God.

Faith is believing without seeing.

Faith is trusting without knowing for certain.

Following Jesus requires faith.  You and I have never seen Jesus.  You and I were not alive 2,000 years ago to see him change people's lives, pay the price for our sins on the cross, die, and rise from the dead. But, by faith, we believe in the eyewitness testimony of those who saw him. So, when it comes to following Paul's instructions, we must have FAITH that God chose to use him to pass on God’s message to us. Throughout his letters, Paul states over and over again that the instructions he gives to the believers are directly from God:

1 Corinthians 2:13 (NLT2) 

13  When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths.

1 Corinthians 14:37 (NLT2) 

37  If you claim to be a prophet or think you are spiritual, you should recognize that what I am saying is a command from the Lord himself.

2 Corinthians 13:3 (NLT2) 

3  I will give you all the proof you want that Christ speaks through me. Christ is not weak when he deals with you; he is powerful among you.

1 Thessalonians 2:13 (NLT2) 

13  Therefore, we never stop thanking God that when you received his message from us, you didn’t think of our words as mere human ideas. You accepted what we said as the very word of God—which, of course, it is. And this word continues to work in you who believe. 

Paul recognized that God had chosen to use him and the other apostles to pass on God’s instructions to others. And he also acknowledged that if people did not listen to his instructions, they were rejecting God.

1 Thessalonians 4:8 (NLT) 

8  Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. 

I think you will agree; it requires FAITH to follow the instructions found in the Bible. 

Dr. Calovini was my academic adviser throughout my college years. She made it clear on the first day of every class she taught that she was an atheist and did not believe in God. She was an English Literature expert, excited and passionate about what she taught.

Toward the end of my college career, I met with Dr. Calovini to discuss which classes I had to take before graduating. In that conversation, I shared with her that I was a youth pastor at a church in Nashville. She scoffed and said, “I can’t believe you would teach the Bible as truth. It's just a collection of myths and fairy tales.”  

I said, “Well, I understand you have an opinion about it.  What parts of the Bible do you take issue with?”

She said, “All of it.”

I said, “But what parts specifically?”

She said, “I have never read it.”

I said, “Wow.  I can’t believe as well-versed as you are regarding world literature that, you have never read the Bible.  It’s the number one selling book of all time – surely you could find value even in that?”

Following instructions from the Bible and others always conveys trust and humility.  

So, Paul says, “You always followed my instructions while I was with you, and now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation.”

In other words, Paul told them to:

SHOW OTHERS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD BY SERVING

If you follow Jesus, you prove to the world that you have been forgiven for your sin through serving others. You prove you have a relationship with God through “good works.”  

Paul emphasizes to these believers that they needed to work hard to show the results of their salvation because doing good works and serving others is closely connected to our salvation.

In 1992, I had a 1979 Ford Fairmont.  I asked a girl to go on a date Friday night, and she said yes, but there was one problem: My car was “up on blocks” in my neighbor’s garage, waiting for me to put on new brakes.  I was paid on Friday, bought the parts, put the brakes on, hit the shower, and went out on the date. 

One week later, I was driving in the city when somebody’s tire rolled past my car!  I hit my brother in the arm and said, “Somebody’s tire!”  At about that time, the front of my car slammed onto the road. It was my tire! 

In my haste to put the brakes on the car, I had failed to tighten the lug nuts. Realizing that all my work and labor had been wasted was sickening. The reason Paul insisted that these believers followed his instructions and work hard to show God had changed them is because you and I will be rewarded for our good works:

Paul writes:

1 Corinthians 3:13-14 (NLT2) 

13  But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. 14  If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. 

On Judgement Day, all of our “work” will go through a fire…and you and I will only receive a reward if the work has any value. Since you became a follower of Jesus, you have been building a pile of work for which God will judge and reward. The only work that survives is your good work because of your relationship with Jesus. I will not be rewarded based on the good works of anybody else. You will not be rewarded for the good works of your spouse.

That’s why we try to provide many opportunities for people to serve.  We partner with Habitat for Humanity and build homes for families in need.  We serve homeless shelters.  We go on mission trips. And church life can be fun when we work together on teams.

We may have a place for you if you want to serve on the Worship team. We may have a place for you if you want to serve on the First Impressions team. If you want to serve as a Life Group leader, we may have a place for you. Children’s, Students, Safety Team.

We create opportunities for you to volunteer and serve the body of Christ every weekend because we want you to be significantly rewarded on the day of Judgement. Finally, we see another truth in verse 13…

GOD NEVER GUILTS PEOPLE; HE CHANGES DESIRES

“God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.”

Raise your hand if you have ever felt like a church was trying to guilt you into serving. I was on staff at a church where the Pastor stopped in the middle of the sermon and announced that we had an overflow of babies that morning and that help was needed in the nursery. He had people raise their hands if they brought a baby that morning and asked them for help. He didn’t move on in the message until some parents finally got up to help out.

God never guilts people into serving, instead, he gives us the power and the desire to do what pleases him. And, when we do what pleases him, you and I will be rewarded. It may be that today, you learned for the first time that our works will be judged on the day of Judgement, and we will be rewarded for them.  

I want each and every one of you to be blessed for all eternity because of the excellent work you have done on this earth.  So, stop by Guest Central or fill out the connect card and drop it in the offering box.  Please take the next step and let us know where you want to serve.

Philippians - Attitude of Jesus

Last week, we talked about the importance of unifying around the mission, and this week, we get to talk about: 

Your Attitude.

Your attitude is one of the most powerful tools you have. It shapes your present experiences and influences your future. When we approach failure with a negative attitude, we’re more likely to see failure rather than success.

When faced with failure, the person with a negative attitude says to themselves:

I'm not good enough

I can't do this

I'll never succeed.

Things never go my way

I'm stuck like this forever.

On the other hand, when we approach failure with a positive attitude, we’re more likely to see opportunities rather than obstacles.  

When faced with failure, the person with a positive attitude says to themselves:

I got this. Things will work out. I'll bounce back. I won’t give up. I’ll keep trying.

Sometimes, our attitude can change.  We can bounce between positive and negative – but today – the most important thing you will walk away with is learning to have the attitude of Jesus.

Philippians 2:5-11 (NLT2) 

5  You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 6  Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. 7  Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, 8  he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. 9  Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, 10  that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11  and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. 

One of the reasons the religious leaders had a difficult time believing that God sent Jesus to save people from their sins is because of the irony of his life. In the days before and after Jesus, leaders were recognized and defined by their power, title, and authority. 

Herod the Great was known for building cities, temples, and fortresses. He executed family members and murdered thousands of male Jewish babies. The Pharaohs of Egypt were considered gods on earth and had absolute power over their subjects.

Leaders like Caiaphas, Tiberius Caesar, and Pontius Pilate were known for their power and authority. They often ruled harshly to maintain political or religious control. Jesus was like no leader the world had ever seen.  He made a radical departure from cultural norms.  He gave up his power, title, and authority to live as a servant to his creation.

And you and I are supposed to live with his attitude.  

Never forget, as difficult as life feels sometimes:

YOU WERE CREATED TO BECOME LIKE JESUS

Philippians 2:5 (NLT2) 

5  You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 

Now, Jesus's attitude on earth cannot be categorized simply as positive or winning. His attitude was much more complex.

He wanted people around him to succeed by surrendering their lives to God. He wanted people around him to be blessed by following God obediently. He wanted people around him to experience peace, joy, and hope that could only come through experiencing the forgiveness of sins.

Jesus knew the only way to achieve this was to give up His right to rule and dominate as God and become a servant to show us the way to Heaven. Jesus always knew He was the most important person in the room, but He always treated others like they were most important. Jesus always knew He was the most important, most powerful, and most dominant force on the planet, but He gave up His life for us as though we mattered more.

And you and I were created to become like Jesus.

That means our attitude toward others and about ourselves must be shaped by His attitude toward us. If Jesus was willing to lay His life down for sinners like you and me, shouldn’t we be willing to sacrifice our wants, desires, and preferences for other people?

I love watching my daughter Naomi play Volleyball.  She plays in the position that is called the “setter.”  She plays on the front of the line, and her job is to “set” the ball to the “hitters” on the left, right, and middle.  Their job is to get it across the net in a way that can’t be returned.

The hitter gets the recognition, but the setter gives them success. Naomi’s job is to help the people of her team shine.

You and I are called to become like Jesus in our attitude and help all those around us win and succeed. So, let’s continue to become more like Jesus every day and, in our attitude, give up our rights to help others win. And with that thought comes another perplexing and ironic truth:

THE UNCHANGING GOD CALLS US TO CHANGE

One of the greatest ironies for followers of Jesus to accept is that our God, who never changes, calls us to change. The Bible teaches us that God’s character can always be counted on because He NEVER changes.

Malachi 3:6 (NLT2):

“I am the LORD, and I do not change…”

Numbers 23:19 (NLT2): 

“God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?”

Since before creation, God is, was, and always will be. His character has never changed, and his heart for you has never changed. He has always longed for you to know Him as your Heavenly Father. You might ask, since Jesus gave up His rights as God and became a human servant, doesn’t that mean God can change?Did Jesus change if He stepped away from power and authority and took on the nature of a servant?

That would be the case if God had never demonstrated His servant heart toward us before the days of Jesus. But we see God's servant heart at work in creation. God, the Creator, served mankind by creating us and giving us life. He designed our bodies to draw in oxygen, our hearts to pump blood, and our brains to think thoughts higher than ourselves.

We see the servant heart of God when He held back the hand of Abraham from sacrificing his son Isaac. We see the servant heart of God when He parted the waters of the Red Sea and rescued the Israelites from Egyptian bondage. We see the servant heart of God as He raises up kings, appoints judges, and protects His people.

Jesus stepped away from God's power and authority and embraced God's servant heart, which God had always demonstrated. That is why we can say with confidence that our God is unchanging. And that:

Hebrews 13:8 (NLT2):

 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

And – if you are a follower of Jesus: By that, I mean if you understand that God created you. You sinned and rebelled, choosing to live your life your way. If you know that because of your sin, God says the punishment for rebellion is separation from God and death. And if you know that Jesus paid the price for your sin, died on the cross, was buried, and rose from the dead. If you believe He ascended into Heaven and will one day return. If you think all that – and you surrendered your life to Jesus: Then, at that moment, you became a NEW CREATION.

Since that moment of surrender, God has been calling you to change and live more and more like Jesus every single day. The unchanging God has called you and me to change. Personally. If a follower of Jesus is constantly changing individually, then as a church filled with changing people, our church must embrace change, too.

Songs will change. Ministries will change. The way we do things will change. However, we will always have the same mission because God is unchanging in His purpose for the church. So, saying, “We have never done things like that before, is okay, as long as we pair it with, “So let’s try it that way to see how it goes.”

That is the attitude and mindset that we are called to have. And finally, we see in this passage that:

ALL PEOPLE WILL CONFESS, BUT NOT ALL WILL BE SAVED

Philippians 2:9-11 (NLT2) 

9  Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, 10  that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11  and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. 

If you have ever wondered what life after death will be like, Paul explains clearly what happens after you take your last breath on this earth. At some point, everyone in this room will die and afterward will stand before God's full majesty, power, and marvelous glory.  You will stand before the one who created the Galaxies. The One who exists outside of time. The One who holds the keys to life and death in his hand. The one who rescued Egypt. The who walked on water. For a moment, all will recognize that Jesus paid the price for their sin because God Loved the world. They will realize Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.  They will recognize that Jesus is the only way to Heaven.

All people will drop to their knees and confess that Jesus is the LORD, God, and Savior.

All people.

All religions.

All beliefs.

All who have ever lived will behold the glory of the Living God and will not have any other choice but to fall to their knees and cry out, “Jesus is Lord.”

And the final irony?  All will confess, but not all will be saved.

Some people will confess that Jesus is Lord, too late.

Some people are so stubborn and have such a negative attitude toward Jesus that they will wait to surrender their lives to Jesus only after they pass from this earth.  And, for them, Jesus will say: “Depart from me. I never knew you.”

But you.

You, do not have to be one of those sent away from entering into Heaven.  Today, you can begin a new life in Jesus by surrendering to Him.

Romans 10:9 (NLT2) 

9  If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

If you are ready to surrender your life to Jesus, read through the words of this prayer: 

PRAYER OF SURRENDER

God,

I believe that Jesus suffered for my sin on the cross and died.

I believe he rose from the dead; he is now with you in Heaven

and will return to earth one day.

I surrender my life to you and receive Jesus as my Savior.

Thank you for forgiving my sin and changing my life.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Make that prayer, your own prayer, and turn your life over to Jesus.

How is God calling you to Change?

How will you live today more like Jesus?

Philippians - Unity in Humility

A couple of years ago, my family and I were traveling on Interstate 40, over 1200 miles, from Lake Havasu City for a Celebration of Life in Fort Smith, AR, for a friend who passed away from Brain Cancer.  We made it to Gallup, New Mexico when the van broke down. 

Oil was everywhere. 

Dripping off the undercarriage. 

Oil covered the sides of the van and the back.  

It was bad.

I was standing by the tow truck driver when a man approached me and told me that he had slept behind the dumpster the night before with his family and was wondering if we could help him out financially. I said rather hastily, “Sorry, I do not have any cash on me. Our van has broken down, and my family and I are 400 miles from home. I can’t help you.” 

He walked away.

I could have helped him. I did not have any cash, but…

I could have walked him to the local grocery store.

I could have bought his family a dinner at the burger joint across the street. 

I could have booked a hotel room for his family for the night.

Instead, I could only think about my problems and what was going on in my life

In this letter to the Philippians, Paul was under arrest for sharing the life-changing news of Jesus with other people.  He was chained inside a house for two years.  During those two years, Paul could have focused on himself and his problems. 

He could have focused on writing letters to help him get out of jail. He could have focused his writing on his own needs. He could have focused on obtaining legal counsel and raising funds for his defense. 

Instead, Paul focused on God and other people and tried to motivate the church in Philippi to do the same.

Philippians 2:1-4 (NLT2)

1  Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2  Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. 3  Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4  Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 

How did Paul keep his focus on telling others about Jesus when he was experiencing great distractions and obstacles in his life?  I think it is because he understood that…

UNITY AROUND THE MISSION RESULTS IN LIFECHANGE

Paul asks the Philippian believers to “agree wholeheartedly with each other, love one another, and work together with one mind and purpose.”

In Chapter One, Paul said that his imprisonment had actually turned out to further the Gospel, so it had become evident to everybody that his chains were in Christ. Paul never lost sight of the mission, even when he experienced major changes in his life. He encouraged the believers to stick together and be unified around the Good News of Jesus. He wanted the followers of Jesus to stay focused on living out the Good News of Jesus and to avoid being distracted by minor things in life.

Beach Church's mission is to lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus. We draw our mission from Jesus's life. And, by the way, that is my mission as well. So, why did I not help that man and his family out? I viewed my situation from my perspective, not from God’s perspective. I focused on my own problems and my own family’s needs. Paul knew that followers of Jesus in Philippi might struggle with focusing exclusively on things that did not matter, so he challenged them to have the same mind, the same love, and the same mission.

There are churches dying today because they value the wrong things.

The reason why I did not help that man and his family in the parking lot is because, at that moment, I believed I was more important than him.  I was the most important person in that parking lot. My problems mattered more than his.

Now, I have confessed my sin to you. So, I have a question for you.  

Who do you think is the most important person in this room right now?

Some might say the Pastor is the most important. After all, I am teaching the Word of God, and all eyes are on me…(unless you have fallen asleep.) Some may say Jarrett and the worship team are the most important. After all, they are responsible for leading us in Worship…

But if we were to say the Pastor and the Worship leader are the most important people in this room right now, we would be wrong.

The most important person in this room is not me…

And…It is not you.

The most important person in this room right now is the person sitting beside you. 

It is the person sitting behind you.  

It is the person sitting across from you.

It is the stranger, the friend.  

I am not the most important person. You are not the most important person.

Other people are always more important.

That is why our mission is to lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus. (That means your preferences, your wishes, and your desires always come in last place to the mission of Beach Church.) Other people are always more important than yourself. It is a beautiful concept to grasp.

SELFISHNESS AND PRIDE HINDER UNITY (FOR LIFE-CHANGE)

Look again at what Paul said in verse 3.

Philippians 2:3 (NLT2) 

3  Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Paul was an APOSTLE. The Holy Spirit spoke through him to write letters inspired by God. He was the leading Christian Leader. There was none like Paul in the whole Christian world.  

He was an advanced thinker, an incredible scholar, he understood the mysteries of God and was able to explain them to others…

The early church probably thought Paul was the most important person…but…

Paul did not think he was the most important. In fact, he considered the Roman guards more important than himself.  Paul considered the church in Philippi more important than himself.  That weekend in Gallup, New Mexico, I did not consider that man as more important than myself…

What about you? Who mattered more than you today?

When we are irritated with others, it is often because our desires matter more.

If you really think about the REASON people bother you and annoy you, it ultimately is because, in that moment, you matter more than them. 

Do you get annoyed by others when you can’t find your car keys?

Do you get more irritated when people don’t live up to your expectations?  When “they” lose the remote control?  When they don’t put something back in its place? So, how important were others to you this past week?

It is hard to be unified around the life-changing message of Jesus if your preferences and desires matter more to you. It is hard to be unified with the mission of Beach Church if you matter more than the people around you.  

So treat everybody you see with love, gentleness, respect and kindness. 

I hope you understand what I am about to say.  I love what God is doing in our church.  I love how God is changing lives.  I love how God is showing up and showing off.  I love the joy and the excitement in our worship.

But please understand this:

Our community is more important than our church. 

Those without Jesus are more important than those with Jesus.

That is one of the reasons we will baptize followers of Jesus at the Beach next Sunday afternoon.  We believe that those outside the walls of the church, those without Jesus, are more important than those with Jesus, and baptizing at the Beach puts us right there with them.

So, demonstrate that our community is more important when you leave church today.

Leave large tips at the restaurants. Let other drivers in front of you. Let God use you to bring PEACE to our city – not more strife and stress. God loves you. God cares for you. But He will allow you to choose to…

BE HUMBLE OR GET HUMBLED.

Are you supposed to be concerned about yourself? Of course. Should you be concerned about your family? Of course.

Paul writes in verse 4.

Philippians 2:4 (NLT2) 

4  Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 

Humility IS looking out for your own interests AND the interests of others.  A truly humble person will care for others AND care for themselves. If all you ever do is try to take care of the needs of others, but you never care for yourself, it may be because you do not really love yourself the way God loves you. And if all you ever do is care about your own needs and do not care about others, you love yourself a little too much.

And if you are a follower of Jesus but struggle with PRIDE…God will help you to be humble by humbling you.

1 Peter 5:5-6 (NLT2) 

And all of you, serve each other in humility, for “God resists the proud but favors the humble.” 6  So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 

God resists the proud. He does not bless the arrogant and prideful like he blesses the Humble.

So when your family is running late, be humble.

When you do not get your way, be humble.

When somebody steals a parking spot, cuts you off in traffic, or asks for a few dollars, be humble.

Remember, our mission is to lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus, and we do that by loving our neighbors as ourselves.

Philippians - Citizen of Heaven

What does it mean to be a “Citizen of Heaven?”  Paul uses that phrase twice in his letter.

This Thursday ( July 4th) – we are celebrating our Freedom!  We celebrate our freedom as a nation and we celebrate our freedom in Christ. In school, at the start of every day, a bell would ring, and the entire class would rise, turn to the American Flag, and say the Pledge of Allegiance.

“I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, Indivisible with Liberty and Justice for all.”

I remember as a child, waving the American Flag during July 4th Parades, applauding veterans, police officers and first responders…but the most Patriotic Season that I remember experiencing came immediately after terrorists attacked the Nation by hijacking passenger planes and flying them into the World Trade Center, and the Pentagon.  

After our Nation watched the towers collapse. After we saw smoke rising from the Pentagon.

After we heard the heroic story of Flight 93 – and how the passengers fought back and lost their lives when they crashed in the field in Pennsylvania….

America responded.

Neighbors spoke to neighbors they had not spoken to. Families called one another to check on them. People lined up across the nation to donate blood. Spontaneous applause broke out for First Responders and Police as they responded to car accidents and fender benders.

And for weeks, as First Responders searched for survivors among the rubble of the World Trade Center, a Massive American Flag Flew in the background. Even with smoke still rising from the rubble, Americans began packing sporting events and arenas as soon as they could. It was as though we were one. Our Nation stood together and said, “You cannot break the American spirit.”

That SEASON was the most PATRIOTIC season of my lifetime.  

Today almost twenty-three years later, the United States of America does not feel as united as we were then.  

It feels like people are trying to divide us by hate.  

It feels like people are trying to divide us by political party.

It feels like people are trying to divide our country by race.

Honestly, our Nation is more divided than I have ever seen it.  

So.

I am an American. I love the freedom we have been given by God. I love that our Declaration of Independence begins with the words:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

I do love my country.

But as followers of Jesus, how do we balance our responsibility as Citizens of the USA and as followers of Jesus living in the USA?

As we look at Philippians, I hope we are each challenged by the Word of God – because I believe he has a particular message crucial for us all to hear and understand.

Let’s read together:

Philippians 1:27 (NLT2) 

27  Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ. 

Philippians 3:17-4:1 (NLT2) 

17  Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. 18  For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. 19  They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. 20  But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. 21  He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control. 1  Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stay true to the Lord. I love you and long to see you, dear friends, for you are my joy and the crown I receive for my work.

At this time, Paul was being persecuted by his own Country. It was not just the religious leaders – he was actually being persecuted by the government of Rome.  He was upsetting the Roman culture by insisting that Jesus was the one true God and that when a person surrenders his life to Jesus, they are forgiven for their sins and made a new person. The Jewish leaders and the Roman government did not like it.

In fact, a few years later, a Roman Emperor named Nero, would falsely accuse Paul of setting the city of Rome on fire, and he would, as Christian Scholars tell us, have Paul arrested and beheaded. Paul made it clear that if we have indeed surrendered our lives to Jesus, our citizenship is in Heaven. That is where we belong. That is where we are going. Even though I am a Citizen of Heaven – I was born a Citizen of the United States of America, and I am to be a good steward of the Nation that God has entrusted to me.

I think it is important to remember that for followers of Jesus:

WE ARE CITIZENS OF HEAVEN FIRST, AND OUR NATION SECOND

Paul stated clearly that we are citizens of Heaven…but he did not teach that followers were not citizens of the countries they belonged to or that followers of Jesus should give up their rights and claims as citizens of their Native Countries.  

In Philippians 3:17, Paul writes, “Pattern your lives after mine.” So, let’s examine how Paul balanced his citizenship of Rome and Heaven. 

In Acts 16, Paul was in Philippi leading people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus – Paul and Silas were arrested, beaten with rods, and locked up in the inner dungeon.  While in Prison, Paul led the jailer and his family to Jesus and baptized them.  

The following day, the City Officials ordered the release of Paul and Silas… You would think that Paul would high tail it out of there…but listen to what he said: 

Acts 16:37-38 (NLT2) 

37  But Paul replied, “They have publicly beaten us without a trial and put us in prison—and we are Roman citizens. So now they want us to leave secretly? Certainly not! Let them come themselves to release us!” 38  When the police reported this, the city officials were alarmed to learn that Paul and Silas were Roman citizens. 39  So they came to the jail and apologized to them. Then they brought them out and begged them to leave the city.

Can you hear the defiance in Paul’s voice?  

Paul knew he was a citizen of heaven – but he also understood his rights as a Roman Citizen. He knew that He and Silas were arrested and beaten because they were citizens of Heaven – but he also knew it was ILLEGAL for them to be beaten and arrested without a trial, because he was a citizen of Rome. Paul waited until after he was arrested, beaten, and spent the night in jail before he said anything.  

Why did he do that?

I think it is because Paul understood that:

OUR FREEDOM SHOULD ADVANCE THE GOSPEL, NOT HINDER IT.

Paul knew his pain could lead others to find freedom in Jesus. Paul believed God had allowed his suffering so he could share HIS HOPE IN JESUS with those he encountered. As citizens of the United States, we believe that we have been granted unalienable rights directly from God.

Right to Worship, Right to free speech.

We are FREE to align with a political party, and support the candidate that we want. But we can learn from Paul’s example that we are not free to be jerks. We should never allow our freedom to hinder the Good News of Jesus. Rather, we should use our freedom to advance the Good News of Jesus Christ.

We see this is Paul’s life again in Acts 21. 

Some Jewish men caused a riot and made loud accusations against Paul.  The whole city was in an uproar. A mob gathered and they tried to kill Paul. A Roman commander arrested Paul.  

As the commander was trying to lead Paul away the crowd followed close by, yelling to KILL HIM.  As Paul was about to be taken inside, Paul asked the commander if he could speak to the crowd that had gathered.  A deep silence fell over the crowd, and Paul spoke to all of them and shared the story of Jesus and how Jesus had changed his life. After Paul shared the gospel of Jesus with the crowd, the commander took Paul inside and ordered him to be beaten and whipped. They tied Paul down to lash him, and Paul said, 

“Is it legal for you to whip a Roman Citizen who hasn’t even been tried?” (Acts 21-22)

This frightened the Roman soldiers. They kept Paul under arrest…but they did not beat him. Paul understood that HIS RIGHTS as a Roman Citizen should advance the Gospel NOT hinder it.

When we elevate our RIGHTS higher than our RESPONSIBILITIES to Love God and Love our Neighbor as follower of Jesus – we will hinder the good news of Jesus.  People will not want to hear from us. In fact, when we “set our minds on earthly things” we actually become more like those that Paul described in Philippians 3:19.

Philippians 3:18-19 (ESV) 

18  For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19  Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.

Did you catch the significance of those last few words?  Paul was describing people who lived their lives as enemies of the cross of Christ.  In the last few words, he said that enemies of the Cross of Christ “Set their minds on earthly things.”

“Setting our minds” on earthly things and “thinking about” earthly things are not the same thing.  

It might surprise you, but 

I think about eating. I think about brewing coffee. I think about my wife.(Not in that order…I should have listed my wife first.) I think about my children. I think about my future. I think about earthly things every single day.  

I think about the government. I think about our local school board and the decisions they are making. I think about Public education. I think about America and the Political divide.

And I think to myself, wouldn’t it be amazing to have born again followers of Jesus, running for office at the local, state and federal levels? Wouldn’t it be amazing if people understood that God has blessed them as Citizens of the United States to point more people to Jesus? Wouldn’t it be amazing to have followers of Jesus defend our freedoms, establish justice, show mercy, and walk humbly with God?  

If you are a follower of Jesus, you are called to advance the Kingdom of God first. 

But - when we set our mind on earthly things – we live as enemies of the Cross of Christ…

When we set our mind on earthly things – it means we are obsessed and devoted to Earthly things. Our mind is non-flexible.  Like concrete when it sets up – our minds become so focused on earthly things Jesus will for our lives does not matter.

The question I ask myself is this…

IS MY MIND RIGHT?

Is my mind right? Does the BORDER of our Nation matter more than expanding the Border of God’s Kingdom? Am I living more like a Citizen of Heaven than a Citizen of the USA? Do I place my political kingdom above God’s Kingdom?

Our Patriotism is best demonstrated by being good stewards of the Nation that God has entrusted to us.  Let’s live with gratitude to live in the best Nation on the planet – and use our freedom to tell other’s about Jesus.

God can heal divided families.

God can restore broken marriages.

God can unify divided churches.

And I believe, if we seek God’s Kingdom first, God can unify our divided Nation.

May God truly Bless America, and may America be a Nation that blesses God.

Philippians - Purpose Keeps Us Going

When we apply God's Word to our lives, we draw closer to Him and begin to trust Him more. Trusting God helps us understand our purpose, which keeps us going even through difficult times. Knowing your purpose can motivate you, keep you focused, and sustain you through challenges and distractions.

Understanding Purpose: Philippians 1:20-26

In today's passage, the Apostle Paul exemplifies a life driven by purpose. Let's read Philippians 1:20-26:

20 For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. 21 For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. 22 But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. 23 I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. 24 But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live. 25 Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith. 26 And when I come to you again, you will have even more reason to take pride in Christ Jesus because of what he is doing through me.

Paul's life purpose was to serve Christ and His people, magnifying Christ through both his life and his death. His mindset was that whether he lived or died, it was for the glory of Christ.

God's Direction in Our Lives

God directs our lives for a purpose, as seen throughout the Bible:

• Ruth: Though she may not have recognized it, God guided her steps, leading her to Boaz's field and eventually into a pivotal role in the lineage of Jesus.

• The Woman at the Well, Noah, Moses, Joseph: Each experienced God's purposeful direction, often through circumstances that seemed coincidental or challenging.

God is constantly working in our lives, often in ways we may not immediately see. He places us where we are for a reason, and there are no accidents or coincidences with God.

Personal Testimony: Finding Purpose in Pain

I struggled with understanding my purpose during a challenging period in ministry. My life was full of despair and hopelessness, and I wanted God to change my circumstances. However, when I began praying for God to change my heart about my circumstances, I found that He had placed me exactly where I needed to be for a purpose.

For instance, I experienced a heart attack, which wasn't a stroke of bad luck but part of God's plan for me. This taught me that suffering cannot destroy the real purpose of life. Life is not just for happiness and personal fulfillment but for serving and honoring God.

Living Out Our Purpose

As Christians, our calling is to become like Christ, a process that continues throughout our lives until we see Him face to face. Purpose keeps us going, as illustrated in Philippians 1:20-26. Even in the midst of pain, chaos, and life's challenges, we can hold firm to the belief that God is directing us.

Reflection and Prayer

Consider these questions:

• Does your purpose keep you going?

• Have you questioned where God has placed you?

• Are you fearful of where God is guiding you?

Don't let the pain and suffering of this world keep you down. Embrace the purpose God has for your life, which is far better than anything we could ever want or imagine.

Philippians - Things That Have Happened

If any early follower of Jesus was considered a “superstar” it was the Apostle Paul. He had the origin story of being a former persecutor of Christians. He hunted them down. He chased them out of towns. He was a Pharisee following in the footsteps of those Pharisees who worked with the Roman government and murdered Jesus. But then – he had a life-changing encounter with Jesus.

He met the resurrected Jesus on the Road to Damascus. A few days later he received the Holy Spirit.  He became a missionary, traveling from town to town, telling people that hope for their broken lives can be found in Jesus. 

Hope for the forgiveness of sins. 

Hope for a relationship with the true God. 

He planted churches. He raised up leaders. Wherever Paul went, people became followers of Jesus. People surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus and their lives changed. They stopped placing their hope in false idols, in sorcery, in witchcraft, in Caesar and began to live lives of worship to God.

It was a radical change.

And many Roman citizens and the government of Rome did not like it. Paul’s message was that there was only one GOD…but Rome believed there were many gods. So, Paul was arrested.  He was placed under house arrest and chained to a wall…for two years.

I have never been arrested.  I do not know what that feels like.  I love the fact that we have many men and women who are part of Beach Church who know what it is like to sit in a jail cell and experience the GRACE of GOD that has changed their lives.

 I do not know what it is like to be confined to a certain amount of space, sleep in a certain spot, have somebody tell me when it is time to wake up, go to sleep, what to wear, and what to eat…

Wait a second – that sounds like Parenting.

And when Paul was arrested – some people were ecstatic…but they thought, “His arrest isn’t enough. We need to make it harder on him…”

So, they devised a plan. Just outside the quarters, Paul was confined; day after day, they preached to anybody who would listen. They told others that Jesus was the Son of God, and nobody could be saved except through Him…

Paul was able to hear them from within his place of confinement…mocking his ministry.  So as he wrote this letter to the Philippian church, Paul addressed the fact the fact that other people were trying to make life more difficult for him. Let’s begin reading in Philippians 1:12-18.

Philippians 1:12-19 (NLT2) 

12  And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. 13  For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. 14  And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear. 15  It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives. 16  They preach because they love me, for they know I have been appointed to defend the Good News. 17  Those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me. 18  But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice. 19  For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance. 

Scholars tell us that this was one of the first times that Paul had been arrested for his faith – if not the very first time.  No doubt, some early followers of Jesus were discouraged when they heard that Paul – the “superstar” preacher, had been arrested.

This imprisonment caused pain for Paul and Pain for the early followers of Jesus. May I ask, is there something in your life that has recently caused pain for you?

As much as we would like to think that some people never experience pain…we all do.  Painful seasons of life happen to us all.  

Some may experience a miscarriage. 

Some have recently experienced the death of a family member.  

Some have experienced the pain of a diagnosis or disease. 

Some people have to deal with childhood trauma. 

Other people have to deal with a marriage that seems to be on the brink of disaster. 

Some people have to deal with being rejected and not accepted by others. 

So how should followers of Jesus manage pain in our lives? What type of Pain Management should we be involved with?

How do we walk through painful seasons in life?

First, we have to understand that even for followers of Jesus…

PAIN WILL MAKE ME BITTER OR BETTER

Pain will make me BITTER or BETTER.

What do I mean by that?  

I have met people with the chronic symptoms of bitterness. I love them.  God loves them…but they sure make it hard to be around them. They are almost always a victim.  They are always blaming other people when something bad happens to them. 

The moon is too bright. The sun is not bright enough. They complain about their work, their family, their church. They always seem to speak negatively about other people.

They simply are not pleasant to be around…have you ever met somebody like that?

Look—if you struggle with bitterness, I want you to know that you can change. God can change you, and God can help you become a better person.  If you struggle with any hurt, habit or hangup, Celebrate Recovery meets every Friday night at 6 PM in Adventure Beach, and can help you overcome bitterness and negativity.

Paul was arrested for telling other people about Jesus, but the arrest did not make him bitter. In fact, it made him better.  His confidence in the Lord grew.  It actually grew! He could have complained and said, 

“God – why did you let this happen to me?  I have been busy telling people about the good news of Jesus and now you let me get arrested.”

“Thanks a lot.”

But instead, his pain made him better.

Philippians 1:12-13 (NLT2) 

12  And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. 13  For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. 

When he said, “helped spread the Good News,” he was making it clear to the early church that this setback, this discouragement, this two-year imprisonment would not cause him to take a step backward in his faith. He said the pain actually helped him carry out his mission to spread the good news of Jesus…Now the whole palace guard had heard the good news about Jesus.

I love it.

He is chained to the wall of the house.  And smiling.  

He is confined and chained up for two years. And joyful.

He tells every one of the guards…you know why I am here?  Jesus.  Jesus sent me here to tell you about Jesus. He acknowledged that even though the people outside his window had wrong motives, the gospel was still being preached.  When people experience church hurt and see a church leader's selfish motives, they can begin to question whether or not God has been working through this pastor or church leader.  

If this person is so bad, how could God have been working in my life? If these things are true, was God ever really working in my life?  

If you have recently asked yourself questions like that, I understand.  These men outside Paul’s windows had selfish motives to make Paul’s imprisonment worse, so they preached hard and loud.  Paul said, as long as Jesus was being preached, that’s all that matters. Let me add this.  God can use the teachings of a selfish, self-centered, corrupt pastor to help you grow in your faith.

In Numbers 22:21-39. God spoke through a Donkey to get Balaam’s attention.  If God can speak through a donkey, God can speak through anybody. So, it’s understandable if you leave a church when you discover the truth about the church leader; just don’t doubt the work that God has been doing in your life.  

Paul’s arrest. His pain made him BETTER.  

What about you? Does your PAIN make you better?  

If you are not intentional about becoming better when you experience pain, by default, you will become bitter.  You have to be determined when you walk through hardship that you will not let this devastating event that has occurred to you make you a bitter person.

Rest assured, your…

ATTITUDE DETERMINES OUTCOME

Now, your ATTITUDE can not take away your diagnosis. Your ATTITUDE can not cure disease, but your attitude when facing pain and discouragement in your life can determine whether or not you become a better person.  

Those people outside Paul’s house wanted to make life miserable for Paul. In the streets, they were “mocking” the Good News of Jesus. Up and down the streets, they yelled that people needed to trust in Jesus for the forgiveness of sins. They thought that by doing so, they would make life more difficult for Paul. So, how did Paul say that their motives in preaching the Gospel did not matter in verse 18? We see HOW later in his letter in Chapter 4:8.

Philippians 4:8 (NKJV) 

8  Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things. 

Paul’s attitude was determined by focusing on the things that were excellent and worthy of praise. Anyone without Jesus can focus on the negative…but followers of Jesus have hope, and when we walk through pain, we must focus on the things that are just, pure, lovely, and full of virtue. As you focus on these things, it will become clear that…

YOUR PAIN CAN BE A DOORWAY TO LIFE-CHANGE FOR OTHERS

Paul said his pain actually was helping him in telling other people about Jesus.  The pain of his arrest gave him an opportunity to demonstrate LOVE and FORGIVENESS to the people guarding him. But Paul’s attitude was simple: He chose to use his PAIN to bring the life-changing good news of Jesus to other people.  If he had not been arrested, he may have never shared the good news with the prison guard. God has used the pain I experienced as a child as a doorway to life change for others.

Before I turned thirteen:

My dad sexually abused me.  He was an alcoholic with an Irish temper.

Night after night, he would holler, scream, and play loud country music.

My mom finally had enough; she left him, and we moved into a domestic violence shelter in Nashville, TN.

I ran away from there and went back to my dad.

My dad sent me back to the shelter and the shelter had me placed at a Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Hospital for three months.

Then, my mom couldn’t afford me, so I moved in with my nana for my High School years.

And, after I graduated from High School, I surrendered my life to Jesus.

For over 26 years, I have been transparent about my childhood and the pain I experienced, because I understand my pain can be a doorway of life change for other people. It’s uncomfortable, and sometimes, it makes others uncomfortable. But my pain is a doorway to sharing the life-changing good news of Jesus.  And so is yours.

I firmly believe in the power and the promise of Romans 8:28

Romans 8:28 (NLT2) 

28  And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Everything means everything.

Your cancer diagnosis is a doorway to sharing the life-changing message of Jesus with your medical team. Your Church-Hurt is a doorway to sharing the life-changing message of Jesus with others. Your child’s crazy behavior in school is a doorway to sharing the life-changing message of Jesus with his teachers. Every bit of pain God allows in your life can be redeemed to impact others if you are willing to allow the pain to make you better and amplify the message of Jesus.

So live Romans 8:28 like you really believe it.