Created For… - Family Worhsip

There is a bit of tension for a new believer in Jesus.  When a person surrenders their life to Jesus, unquestionably, they are transformed into a new person.  From the moment they surrender, they have the Holy Spirit of God living within them. They have DESIRES that are good.  They have a DESIRE to read the Bible. They have a desire to talk with God in prayer. They want to tell others about the FORGIVENESS they have found through Jesus.

Yet when they become a PARENT – they tend to PASS along the same PATTERNS they were raised with. If you were raised in a HOUSE where there was YELLING to correct behavior – chances are you fall back into that pattern when pressed. If you were raised in a HOUSE where your PARENTS fought every night – chances are – you fall back into that pattern.

It’s not because you were not born again – it’s because a PATTERN developed in your life – and you learned by EXAMPLE…just like your CHILDREN learn from you.

Kristy and I never taught Naomi to roll her eyes – but from the time she was a toddler – she rolled her eyes at whatever she thought was dumb or did not make sense.

 For example…In 2013 we were gathered together for a meal – the first time family had traveled from Sweden in a while – grandparents are there…I thought I would capture the moment quickly with a photo.  The girls were eating at the little kids' table – I said: “Girls…turn around, let me get a photo…” 

And there is Naomi rolling her eyes…

I thought – where did she learn how to do that…and I caught my reflection in the mirror and knew exactly where she learned to do that. It wasn’t something I taught – it was a behavior that was caught.

Our children CATCH patterns from us and those PATTERNS become part of who they are. 

Deuteronomy 6:1-7 (NLT2)
1  “These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you. You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy, 2  and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the LORD your God as long as you live. If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life. 3  Listen closely, Israel, and be careful to obey. Then all will go well with you, and you will have many children in the land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you. 4  “Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5  And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6  And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7  Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

At this point, Moses is roughly one month from his own death. He is standing on the edge of the promised land.  He is looking across a river he will never cross, and giving his farewell sermon.

Most of the people in front of him were children or not yet born when God used Moses to lead the Israelites out of Slavery.  Forty years had passed.  Many of their parents are buried in the desert behind them. And the people who lived in the promised land – were not Jewish.  They did not believe that there was only one God. They believed in a god for rain. A god for crops. A god for fertility.

They DID not believe that there was only ONE GOD. Moses knew that TRUST in the LORD ALONE could fade in ONE generation. And as BELIEVING parents – we recognize that truth. So, how do you pass along your faith in God to your children? 

First, it begins with the work God is doing in your own heart.  

Your HEART before their EARS
Deut. 6:5-7, Josh 24:15

 Love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. Commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands. Whose heart? YOURS. The parent's.

Your kids are going to learn more about your faith from watching you LIVE it than they will from listening to you TALK about it.

You can tell your kids that prayer matters…But they need to SEE you pray.
You can tell your kids that the Bible matters…But they need to SEE you read it.
You can tell your kids that worship matters…But they need to SEE you worship.
You can tell your kids that Jesus changes people…But eventually, they are going to ask…Has Jesus changed YOU?

Regardless of the age of our children, our children are watching us.

They are watching how we treat their mom or dad.
They are watching what happens when we get angry.
They are watching how we talk about people when those people are not around.
They are watching what we do when we mess up.

And just like Naomi learned to roll her eyes without me ever sitting her down and saying, “Naomi, today I am going to teach you how to roll your eyes”...Our kids are learning what it means to follow Jesus by watching us.

Joshua 24:15 (NLT2)
15  …But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD.”

 “As for ME...” Before I can lead MY FAMILY to follow Jesus, I have to follow Jesus. I cannot expect them to develop convictions I refuse to live. I cannot expect them to make Jesus the CENTER of their lives when He lives somewhere on the EDGE of mine.

My girls are teenagers now and moving into adulthood.  And I recognize I have passed along a FLAWED faith.  They have often seen me in the tension of being hurt by somebody – and not yet forgiving that person.  They have often heard me OUTWARDLY express resentment – but not seen the INWARD forgiveness given later.

I am not SATISFIED with the FAITH I have passed along to them. Are you?

And before you get too hard on yourself, remember, you can CHANGE. God starts with your HEART before their EARS. And as you place your heart before the Lord first and allow him to transform your parenting, Deut. 6:7 gives us a PATTERN we can follow. 

If you wear out tires driving your children back and forth to school, to practice, to recitals, to events, make the most of that time, because…

Worship HAPPENS in the EVERYDAY
Deut. 6:7

In Deut. 6:7, Moses describes a pattern of instruction: At home and on the road. Going to bed and getting up. Moses uses two pairs of opposites to describe EVERYTHING in between.

Home and road.
Morning and night.

Moses is describing a LIFE where God becomes part of the conversations you are already having with your children. Your children will spend far more time with you in the COMING and GOING than they will sitting through a family devotional.

The drive to practice counts.
The ride to school counts.
The tuck-in counts.
The conversation at dinner counts.

Sometimes passing on our faith is one sentence about God in an ordinary moment. It is recognizing TEACHABLE moments with our kids, regardless of how old they are.

We were watching a documentary this week that highlighted some excerpts from sermons. I heard statements that sounded familiar on the surface, but the spirit behind them was completely twisted. I looked at Sofie and said, 'This is what makes false teaching dangerous…it usually has enough truth in it to sound right.'

That became a teachable moment. I did not schedule it. I did not tell her, “Tonight at 7:00, we are having family devotional to discuss the importance of discernment.” We were watching television. Something came up. And we talked about Jesus. THAT is what I mean when I say worship happens in the EVERY DAY.

When you are at HOME.
When you are on the ROAD.
When you are going to BED.
When you are getting UP.

God is giving us moments to SHAPE our children’s faith. Family worship does not require a microphone, a guitar, or a thirty-minute Bible study. Family worship happens in the EVERY DAY…and in the yard…and at practice…and doing homework…

Worship and discipleship live in the ordinary minutes. But we often miss those ordinary minutes because we are BUSY in the BETWEEN. The schedule we try to keep…the pace. The frantic “where the heck are your cleats, your glove…your bible…”

We all know the frantic feeling of running late, choking down a granola bar and a cheese stick and calling it supper in the between…We know our houses are full.
Our plates are full.
Our schedules are full.
Our calendars are full.

And somewhere in all that FULLNESS, it becomes incredibly easy to FORGET what matters most.

Full Houses FORGET God, but not YOURS
Deut. 6:10-12

In verses 10 through 12, Moses looks across the Jordan at the good life coming. Houses they did not build. Wells they did not dig. Full stomachs. Then he says, be careful. Be careful not to forget the LORD. Not when you are struggling. When you are FULL.

When life gets FULL, we can start living like we do not NEED God. We continue to BELIEVE in GOD – but we CAN build a life where we RUSH and LIVE like we rarely NEED Him. And our children can CATCH that too.

They hear us tell them to TRUST God, but they watch us trust the paycheck.
They hear us tell them to PRAY, but they watch us solve every problem ourselves.
They hear us say Jesus is the CENTER of our family, but they watch everything else get scheduled FIRST.

Full houses forget God…but NOT yours.

I also recognize that, like me, some of you did not inherit FAITH from your parents. You inherited FISTS. You inherited ABUSE. You inherited a BOTTLE. You inherited patterns you promised yourself you would NEVER repeat. And then you became a parent.

And sometimes, under pressure, you hear your mom coming out of your mouth. You hear your dad. You respond the way somebody responded to you. The PATTERN can be broken. Jesus can begin something NEW with YOU.

Maybe you never saw Christian parenting modeled. You do not have to figure this out alone. Get into a LifeGroup. Get around some parents who are a few steps ahead of you. Watch them. Learn from them. Ask questions.

And then go home and build a NEW pattern.

Let your kids CATCH you praying.
Let them CATCH you reading God’s Word.
Let them CATCH you apologizing when you are wrong.
Let them CATCH you forgiving.
Let them CATCH you trusting God when you do not know what happens next.
Let them CATCH you worshiping Jesus when life is GOOD and when life is HARD.

And – a great opportunity to lead your family today – would be to lead those in your family who have not yet been baptized to be baptized today at the Beach.

Lead them by example.  If you have not yet been baptized since trusting Christ as your Savior – be baptized today. Open up the Beach Church app – go to “Events” and register to be baptized today.  Lead your family by your example.  Show them what is important and what matters. 

Celebrate your faith publicly, live for Jesus privately in your home, and as you go – keep pointing your children to Jesus.

You do not get to choose the PATTERN that was handed to you. But you get to choose the PATTERN you hand to them.