Beach Life: Transparent Living

Throughout this “Beach Life” journey, we will explore Jesus' mission and values, and how he calls us to follow him and make them our own. Today, we are talking about the importance of transparent living.  

 We believe that God desires us to be real, open, and honest about who we are, and allow others the freedom to do the same. But, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are transparent about everything. In fact, there are times when you should not be transparent about everything.

In the last five years of his life, my dad lived in a nudist colony in Florida.  In my teenage years, I imagined that all people who lived in these places were young…fit…and attractive. Boy…was I in for a surprise when I went to share the life-changing message of Jesus with my dad!

 It was my second year of college.  My sister and I drove about 10 hours…We made it through the vine-covered gate and through security…And I quickly realized that the vibe there was not young, fit, and attractive…they were mostly senior adults, overweight, and not physically fit.  And…they were everywhere.

I gripped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead.  My eyes did not scan to the right or the left. Then my sister said, “Oh, look.  They are playing volleyball.”

 There are some things in life that SHOULD NOT be transparent… I know the Bible says that…

Hebrews 4:13 (NLT2)
13  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes…

But … I’m not the Lord…and my eyes did not need to see that…

But, when we have enough wisdom to know what should be transparent in our lives, all of our relationships will be strengthened and will grow deeper.

1 John 1:7-9 (NLT2)
7  But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. 8  If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 9  But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 

Followers of Jesus do not have to pretend to be perfect.

 Maybe you grew up in a church that practiced “privacy” rather than “transparency.” Maybe you were encouraged not to talk about real life and real problems at church. Maybe your experience was to sing from a book of songs, listen quietly to the sermon, and leave just at the end of the last song to get to the restaurant first. Maybe your experience in church has leaned toward “pretending to be perfect.”

Today, you will discover that here at Beach Church, you get to be real, open, and honest about who you are – AND you allow others to do the same. 

I am allowed to be a real Pastor, a real person, a real husband, and a real daddy. If I get to be transparent,  if you get to be transparent, then others are allowed to be transparent, too.

When you come to church, it's okay if you wear mismatched socks, have baby vomit on your shirt, and toothpaste on your chin. 

 In this passage, a follower of Jesus named John describes what it is like to live “in the light” and to “live in the truth.” John is writing to believers in Jesus. He describes what happens when believers in Jesus are serious about living in the light and following Jesus.  

 If you have had a moment when you gave your life to Jesus, you are living in the light. But you didn’t always live in the light. Before you gave your life to Jesus, you lived in darkness. I did, too.

 And, there is a vast difference between living in darkness and the light. Thanks to the light outside, every one of us followed a predictable pattern when we arrived at church today.

You parked your car.
You and your crew got out of your car.
You walked through the parking lot.
You entered the lobby.
Maybe you stopped to use the restroom.
Maybe you picked up a cup of coffee.
Then, you finally entered the worship center and sat in your seat.

I imagine you will do that in reverse when it is time to leave.

 Getting into the building and making your way to the seat wasn't difficult because you were “living in the light.”

 However, imagine that after parking the car, the parking lot team put on blindfolds, spun you around, and let you find the worship center.  Just simply finding the entrance would be hard enough. Parked cars, moving cars, bushes, curbs…Some of us would still be wandering around outside.

 In the same way, when you “live in the light,” you are the “real you.”  Being authentic removes barriers and allows you to really connect with other people and even GOD in a meaningful way… 

Transparent Living DEVELOPS meaningful CONNECTIONS

 In verse 7, John uses a word to describe this type of connection with other people.  He uses the word “Fellowship.”  It’s a churchy sounding word that could truly change your life if you experience it.

 The word Fellowship describes a deep friendship with other people who believe in Jesus…and that deep friendship is a result of exchanging your lives with others. “Exchanging” means giving and receiving. Others share their wins and struggles with you, and you share yours with them. That is what people are looking for in this world.

 You may not have a problem with people sharing their real lives with you, but you may struggle to open up to others. Maybe you aren’t sure what others would think about you if they knew what you really struggled with, so you remain private.  You listen to others but do not share your life with them. Maybe you pretend everything is ok when everything is not ok. Maybe you smile and nod and tell people everything is okay, but your heart cries out for somebody to listen to you. Maybe you are too guarded to allow anyone else to know about the struggles you are having at work or with your family, or with your character. Maybe you are slowly becoming a person you don’t want to be, but you are too guarded to invite others in to that part of your life.

You might think, “If people knew the real me, they wouldn’t like me.”

 The truth is, when you first begin to practice transparent living, it can be scary, but it gets better.   

Transparent Living requires VULNERABILITY

1 John 1:8 (NLT2)
8  If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth.

Being open and honest about who you are means you are vulnerable. And, when we are vulnerable, we can be hurt. When we are vulnerable to others, we can be rejected. When we are vulnerable, we give people power with areas of our lives we keep secret for a reason. And, if other people view you as a leader, vulnerability is even more difficult.

You are the leader in your family, and your family looks to you for protection and provision.
You are the leader at work, and your coworkers turn to you for advice and solutions.
You are a leader in your neighborhood, and your neighbors may bring their complaints to you to solve them.
You are a leader in your life group, and people look up to you as a role model…

 You may be tempted to think, “I can’t live transparently because people expect me to be strong.”

If I am vulnerable, people will turn on me.
If I am vulnerable, people will reject me.
If I am vulnerable, others will think I am too weak to lead and find another leader.
If I am vulnerable with my spouse, they will find somebody else.
If I am vulnerable with my children, they won’t respect me.
If I am vulnerable at work, I will never get that promotion.

Those thoughts are simply not true.

When we demonstrate appropriate vulnerablitiy, we strengthen one another.

 I have never kept it a secret that I battle with depression – and over the last few years depression has become worse.  The myth about depression is that you feel sad.  But for me – it grew to where I didn’t “feel” anything.  I was numb. I rarely laughed  (a real laugh), and I never cut up at home.  Everything became life or death serious.

 In 2022, I was forced to resign from my church in Arizona because the Pastor I was called to replace changed his mind about retiring. We live with life and death battles every single day with three of my daughters who live with Type One Diabetes. Betrayal, losing friends, financial loss, and family struggles are enough to create depression in anybody, but when you layer that on top of a childhood of abuse and dysfunction…

 Well, I went numb.

 So I knew I needed help, and I reached out. In December, I received TMS therapy, five days a week, designed to stimulate my frontal lobe and help the pathways in my brain get moving again…And now, I really laugh.  I cut up with my daughters and wife at the house.  The cloud of numbness is gone, and I am enjoying life.

 Men and women, if you are stuck in a dark place, reach out for help.  The place I reached out to was “Radial,” formerly known as Living Waters.  It is a Christian-based mental health practice here in Myrtle Beach.  

So, why did I share that information with you? 

 Because being vulnerable strengthens others! Sharing our weaknesses makes us all stronger. This was me, stepping out of the darkness, admitting I needed help, and stepping into the light. The version of you that you hide, is the version that will never be healed.

Paul, was a church planting, missionary in the New Testament, and he wrote this.

2 Corinthians 12:10 (NLT2)
10  That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So, trust others. Be vulnerable. 

When God works in our lives, the stories must be shared. Some share the story of God’s work in their lives through baptism. Some share their stories in lifegroups. And sometimes, stories need to be shared with the church. 

Transparent Living leads to freedom!

 If you really want to be FREE…When real connections are made, we live in freedom. When real friendships are made, we live in freedom. We can confess our struggles, our victories, and our journey as followers of Jesus—and that type of living leads to freedom! You can be yourself.  You are free from trying to manage an IMAGE.

If you have been attending church for a while and still feel like you do not know people, you are probably correct. If you love the worship and are engaged with the message but are still missing friendships with other believers, it may be because you have not yet taken the initiative to join a life group or serve on a ministry team.

 Transparent Living does not mean everybody in the church knows you. The power of transparent living is best experienced within a life group. A life group commits to confidentiality, shares life experiences, and develops meaningful friendships.

Maybe you tried out a lifegroup, and it wasn’t a good fit. Try again. Sign up this fall when Lifegroups begin again.

Your people are here.