Upside Down - The Power of Words: Living with Integrity
I remember we were working with our youngest on LYING. One night after dinner, for desert the girls ate two miniature strawberry cupcakes. Later, Jessie asked if she could have another one and said, “I only got one.”
“Jessie, is that true?”
“Yes. I only got one.”
“Well, let me check with your mom.”
Jessie paused. Looked down at the floor. Looked back up with a bright smile and said, “Just kidding!”
Truth. Even as little children, we know that there is a difference between truth and deception.
I have asked Caleb our videographer to use AI to create a few videos of me doing or saying things I haven’t said…but it looks and sounds like me…
These are funny videos – but if a person wanted to, they could generate something that looked like me, talked like me, and have me do anything they wanted me to do. And if a person did not know me, they would believe what they saw was indeed true.
What a person perceives to be the truth has become more accepted than what is really the truth. If a person believes something about themselves that is not biologically true, they expect you to believe it too. How do we engage a culture that values perception over reality?
Listen to what Jesus said in:
Matthew 5:33-37 (NLT2)
“You have also heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the LORD.’ 34 But I say, do not make any vows! Do not say, ‘By heaven!’ because heaven is God’s throne. 35 And do not say, ‘By the earth!’ because the earth is his footstool. And do not say, ‘By Jerusalem!’ for Jerusalem is the city of the great King. 36 Do not even say, ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black. 37 Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.
This passage is about BEING genuine. It’s about integrity and character. This passage is about being the genuine article. The real deal. It's about living with integrity because integrity means we don’t pretend to be something we are not. You say what you mean. You mean what you say. And, you don’t have to try to convince people you are telling the truth.
A person with integrity never pinky-promises
When Jesus said, “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t’” He meant your words should be enough. You don’t need to make an extra promise. You don’t need to swear on your momma’s life… Just yes or no. Kids “Pinky-promise” because they want you to believe what they’re saying. They don’t think their words alone are strong enough, so they add something extra.
Jessie didn’t pinky-promise. She flat-out lied, then tried to cover it with, “Just kidding.” Adults do the same thing. We just dress it up in grown-up language. We say things like, “I’ll be there at 7,” but show up at 7:30 with a coffee in our hand like that makes it better. Or we say, “I’ll pray for you,” and what we mean is, “I’ll think about praying for you when I remember later.” Or we say, “I’ll call you back,” but we never make the call. That’s adult pinky-promising.
Jesus calls His followers to live differently; a life where your yes is enough and your no is enough. You don’t need to swear on something bigger than yourself. You don’t need to convince people you mean it. People know your word is good because your life proves it. When you live with integrity, people can trust your words.
Words aren’t just sounds that come out of our mouths. Words reflect our character. Words build trust or break it. And…
Your words create worlds, so create yours
Genesis 1 begins with God speaking. “Then God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” God created the world with His words. We are made in His image. That partly means our words carry creative power too. We don’t create galaxies, but we do create environments. We shape relationships. We build trust or destroy it by what comes out of our mouths.
Proverbs 18:21 (NLT2)
The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Your words either breathe life into someone, or they drain it out of them. There’s no neutral. Every word you speak is doing one or the other.
I’ll never forget the words that Marcine Butts spoke to me in 7th grade when she was sent to tell me Rebecca Bumpus was breaking up with me. I asked, “Why is she breaking up with me?” Marcine said, “Joe…You’re ugly.”
Her words stayed in my head for a long time. Whenever I approached a girl in high school or college to flirt with them, I would hear Marcine’s words in my head. Her words lingered and created a world in which I believed I was ugly. That’s the power of words. Words can shape someone’s identity. Words can create a world of insecurity or fear.
Or they can create a world of confidence and hope.
And your words are shaping someone’s world right now. The way you speak to your spouse.
The way you speak to your kids. Words also create worlds in your home. If your words are filled with sarcasm, criticism, and harshness, your home feels heavy. If your words are filled with encouragement, patience, and truth, your home feels safe.
Luke 6:45b (NLT2)
… What you say flows from what is in your heart.
Words don’t just appear out of nowhere. If you blurt something out, you have been thinking about it for a while. Your words reveal your character. That’s why they matter so much.
So, what kind of world are your words creating? Ask your children. Ask your spouse. Ask your coworkers. When people hear you speak, do they walk away lifted or crushed? Do they see Jesus in the way you talk, or do they hear something else?
After I surrendered my life to Jesus and began to grow in my relationship with the Lord, one of my favorite passages of scripture was also one of the most convicting passages I had ever read. It was from James 3, and James was writing about the power of the tongue.
James 3:9-12 (NLT2)
Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. 10 And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 11 Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? 12 Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.
The passage taught me that…
Bitter mouths cannot bless, pick a stream (James 3:9-12)
This is one of the most honest and practical passages in the entire New Testament. James does not mince words. He is confronting the tension we all feel. On one hand, we use our mouths to praise God. We worship with passion, we pray with sincerity, and we say all the right things.
But with the same mouth, we can also curse, criticize, gossip, and tear people down. James reminds us that those people we speak against are not just random faces in a crowd, they are men and women made in the image of God. When we cut down another person, we are speaking against someone who reflects the very God we claim to worship.
James then gives us two vivid pictures. He asks, “Does a spring bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?” Of course not. A spring has one source. What flows from it tells you what is happening at the source. If fresh water is flowing, the source is pure. If bitter water is flowing, the source is corrupted.
The same is true of our mouths. What flows out of your mouth reveals the condition of your heart. Our words are not accidental. They come from somewhere. They come from the well of our soul. If our words are harsh, bitter, and cutting, that’s not just a slip of the tongue; that’s a revelation of what’s going on in our hearts.
If your heart is poisoned with bitterness, your words will be poisoned too. You can try to mask it. You can try to say the right things when people are watching. But eventually, what is really inside will come out. And this takes us right back to what Jesus was teaching in Matthew 5:33-37. Jesus said, “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.”
We all struggle with this. We all overpromise. We all use words casually sometimes. But Jesus is saying your yes should be enough. Your no should be enough. That’s integrity. That’s dependability.
So, if you tell your kids you’ll be at their game, be there. If you tell your spouse you will stop a certain behavior, follow through. If you tell a friend you’ll pray for them, stop right then and pray. That’s what it looks like when your words and your life match.
James says bitter and fresh water cannot flow from the same stream. Jesus says your words should be simple and dependable. Both point us back to the same truth: your words reveal your character. Integrity isn’t perfection; it’s consistency. It’s living in such a way that people trust what you say because your life backs it up.
That’s what Jesus was getting at in Matthew 5. The world says you’ve got to add more to prove you’re telling the truth. But Jesus flips it upside down. He says integrity is when your simple yes or no is enough. It’s when your words and your life are the same stream, flowing with truth, dependability, and character.
If we are going to live on mission and lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus, we must be men and women of character and truth.