Meeting Jesus - Pretendinitus
When I was a Student Pastor at an inner city church in Louisville, KY, Kristy and I had been married for about three years. We had a friend we had known for over ten years who was also a student pastor in a nearby state. He was dating a young woman from the church he was serving, and over the years, we would speak at each other’s church, and occasionally combined our youth groups for retreats.
It was during a combined winter retreat in 2002 that I learned my friend was not an honest person. At separate moments, two of his 18-year-old female students went to my wife for prayer and counseling at separate times. During that time, they shared that they had had a secret intimate and physical relationship with my friend. They kept the relationship hidden from the church, and hidden from his girlfriend.
When Kristy shared this with me, I was shocked. I confronted my friend with the truth. He admitted it was true. I was devastated. After more conversations that weekend, I learned the web of deception was so deep, and what he had done to these two young ladies was so harmful, his Senior Pastor needed to know.
When we returned from the retreat, I filled in the Lead Pastor on what my wife and I had discovered. When the pastor privately met with the girls, he told them that he would not tell the church what the youth pastor had done to them because he did not want the church to know “what kind of girls they were.”
When the youth pastor resigned from the church, he read a letter claiming it was to “focus on his education.” The church was never told, and the girls lived with significant hurt and confusion for the next 17 years.
My friend pretended to be transparent and honest, but he wasn’t. The struggle with transparency and honesty is more widespread inside the church than we want to acknowledge. I am working on it, but I deceive people every single day.
“Hey Pastor, how are you?”
“Great!” I reply.
Most days I am not great.
Most days I am burdened, my heart is heavy, and I feel worn down to a nub. But Jesus loves me, so I answer, “Great.” But that is not the whole truth.
Today, in our passage of scripture, a group of men pretend to be honest so they could hurt Jesus.
Let’s read together.
Luke 20:20-26 (NLT2)
20 Watching for their opportunity, the leaders sent spies pretending to be honest men. They tried to get Jesus to say something that could be reported to the Roman governor so he would arrest Jesus. 21 “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you speak and teach what is right and are not influenced by what others think. You teach the way of God truthfully. 22 Now tell us—is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” 23 He saw through their trickery and said, 24 “Show me a Roman coin. Whose picture and title are stamped on it?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. 25 “Well then,” he said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.” 26 So they failed to trap him by what he said in front of the people. Instead, they were amazed by his answer, and they became silent.
In this passage, religious leaders use deception by sending spies pretending to be honest men to trap Jesus with his words. And then, the spies made comments to Jesus to get Jesus to say something wrong so he could get arrested.
They wanted to involve Jesus in political controversy.
My Nana would send politicians or people from churches away from her door without hearing one word from them and she would say, “we do not talk about religion or politics.”And around the Holidays anytime a relative wanted to discuss politics or religion, she would shut them down and say the same thing. These men were eager to get Jesus' thoughts about politics and religion, hoping he would make a politically charged comment so the Roman government might be willing to put Jesus to death as a Rebel. So they ask Jesus a “Yes” or “No” question about paying taxes. “Is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?”
If Jesus opposes paying taxes, he risks being arrested by Rome and possibly killed. If he is for taxing the Jewish people, then the Jewish people may turn on him.
So, the first takeaway is this:
SEEK GENUINE TRANSPARENCY OVER THE APPEARANCE OF TRANSPARENCY
Luke 20:20 (NLT2)
20 Watching for their opportunity, the leaders sent spies pretending to be honest men. They tried to get Jesus to say something that could be reported to the Roman governor so he would arrest Jesus.
These men had a condition called “Pretendinitus.”
Pretendinitus is a condition in which somebody pretends to be something they are not. These men pretended to be honest men, but they were liars. They chose to appear transparent rather than actually be transparent. We all struggle with letting others know the real “us.”
One evening, I was leading an outreach night at our church. Driving to the church, I listened to country music on the radio. When I pulled into the parking lot at the church, I switched it to Worship music.
Why did I pretend?
I listen to worship music all the time. Why was I afraid to pull into the parking lot at church with Zach Brown singing about “Cold beer on a Friday night?” So silly.
But maybe you too, have hidden something about you because you weren’t sure what other people would think of you. Maybe you don’t tell others about the doubts and fears you live through daily. Maybe you don’t tell others about the struggle you are having with your spouse. Maybe you smile and nod and tell people everything is okay, but on the inside, your heart cries out for somebody to listen to you.
Many of us have pretendinitus. We pretend everything is ok, when everything is not ok. One of our Guiding Values here at Beach Church is Transparent Living. We believe God desires us to be real, open, and honest about who we are and allow others the freedom to do the same. Living transparently means we are honest about our struggles and wins to demonstrate God’s grace in our lives. So, one of the ways you can demonstrate transparent living is this:
SHOOT STRAIGHT; BUTTERING PEOPLE UP IS A FORM OF MANIPULATION.
Luke 20:21-24 (NLT2)
21 “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you speak and teach what is right and are not influenced by what others think. You teach the way of God truthfully. 22 Now tell us—is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” 23 He saw through their trickery…
These men, pretending to be honest, now looked at Jesus and buttered him up because they believed if they flattered Jesus, he would let his guard down, and they would trick him. Most of us know when somebody is flattering us because they want something. When my children were toddlers, they were perfect at this.
Sofia would stretch her arms to me and say, “I want to hold you.” I would scoop her up and hold her, and she would say, “You’re the best daddy in the world,” followed by, “Can I have some more ice cream?”
It's cute as toddlers, but as we mature into adults and followers of Jesus, we must be honest and sincere in communicating with others. You don’t have to be Jesus to know when somebody is buttering you up and flattering you to manipulate you or gain their trust…If you spend too much at Starbucks, you may be tempted to tell your spouse how awesome they are before you tell them two special coffees and coffee cakes cost $40.
It happens!
It is so important that we shoot straight with people and stop flattering others to get what we want. Now, if you think shooting straight with other people gives you an excuse to give your spouse a piece of your mind…I have to disappoint you.
Shooting straight with others does not mean you get to give somebody a piece of your mind. It doesn’t mean we get to tear down and damage others. “Shooting straight” means you are honest, not harmful. It means we give helpful feedback, not destructive criticism. Paul was a follower of Jesus and wrote a lot about how we speak to others.
Ephesians 4:29 (NLT2)
29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
Colossians 4:6 (NLT2)
6 Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
Ephesians 4:15 (NLT2)
15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
When we shoot straight with others, our love for God and others is evident in our words. God is honored when we choose honesty and transparency with others rather than “buttering them up” to get something we want.
And the second way you can experience transparent living is to:
LIVE TRANSPARENTLY IN A LIFE GROUP TO BE A BETTER YOU!
Live transparently in a life group to be a better you. Sermon-Based Life Groups will begin next year. The most meaningful friendships I have ever had are from the small groups of people I have lived transparently with. In life groups, we grow together. We share our lives. We talk about personal struggles and our wins and learn from each other. We pray for each other. We cheer each other on. When you are willing to open your life up to others, others will open their life up to you. When you are genuine, open, and honest about who you are, others will be open and honest about who they are. You will build real friendships and develop genuine relationships with other followers of Jesus.
You cannot live transparently with the whole church, but you can choose to do life with a small group of people in the same season of life as you.