Guardrails - Do Not commit adultery
No Other Gods.
Do Not Have Idols
Do not misuse God’s name.
Rest on the Sabbath.
Honor your Father and Mother.
Do not Murder.
Do not Commit Adultery.
Do Not Steal.
Do Not Lie.
Do Not Covet.
Today, we look at the sixth commandment, “Do not commit adultery.”
God placed “Do not murder” right before “Do not commit adultery” just in case your spouse cheats; you know it is wrong to murder them. In the Old Testament, it was commonly accepted that the only reason a couple could be divorced was because of adultery. Frankly put, “Adultery” is “having sex with someone who is not your spouse” when one or both participants are married to someone else. So, that means that both parties are guilty of adultery. Even if they are not married, the married person and the other person they sleep with.
Today, people might refer to that non-married party as a “home wrecker.”
I know that this topic is going to hit close to home for many, so let me say this:
“God demonstrates his love for us in this: while we were sinners, Christ died for us.”
If your spouse has cheated on you, if you have cheated on your spouse, or if you were the outside person, God still loves you. We still love you. Like Paul, I often feel like I am the chief of sinners, and you are welcome here. This message may stir up some unresolved junk in your life. Let me encourage you to talk with somebody about it if it does. A therapist, a counselor, or get involved in Celebrate Recovery. CR meets every Friday at 6 PM. If you struggle with any “Hurt, Habit, or Hang-up,” Celebrate Recovery is a great place to begin the healing process.
Exodus 20:14 (NLT2)
14 “You must not commit adultery. “
Spouses who have been cheated on often describe feeling:
• deeply hurt
• emotionally shattered
• a deep loss of trust
• a sense of abandonment
• they begin to question their self-worth
• and wonder if they were ever really loved.
And the reason it did so much damage is because:
ADULTERY WRECKS RELATIONSHIPS
Adultery wrecks relationships. Remember, just like God desires us to be faithful to Him, God also wants us to be loyal to our spouse. The 10 Commandments are Guardrails to “bless and protect us and keep our lives from crashing.”
And the sin of Adultery wrecks people and relationships. The Book of Proverbs offers practical advice about adultery. Solomon writes:
Proverbs 6:27-32 (NLT2)
27 Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? 28 Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? 29 So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished. 30 Excuses might be found for a thief who steals because he is starving. 31 But if he is caught, he must pay back seven times what he stole, even if he has to sell everything in his house. 32 But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself.
“If you play with fire, you are going to get burned”
“Sex” is being compared to a fire. A fire in your fireplace can heat the room. But a fire outside the fireplace will burn down the house. Within Marriage, a child finds security, love, and support because Parents are deeply committed to and love one another. Parents, your marriage keeps the whole family warm! But, if you are unfaithful to your spouse, you can burn the whole house down and destroy every single relationship, including your children’s.
Your kids may blame themselves for your affair.
They may blame your spouse for the affair.
Their grades may suffer.
Their emotions may suffer.
Or, as adults, your children may have trust issues and bounce from one relationship to the next. When the foundation of TRUST is gone from the family, the whole family is wrecked. Adultery wrecks relationships between children, parents, in-laws, and grandchildren. Family and friends may take sides. On all sides, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, and bitterness take root and have the potential to destroy every relationship. So, if adultery is so damaging, why do people cheat? Why does it appear so appealing?
Sometimes, they are deceived by the…
THE BLACK ICE OF DECEIT
During the winter, sometimes we get “black ice.” The roads freeze over, but the streets look normal. The thin layer of ice is hard to see, so the roads look OK to drive on. If you drive on black ice unknowingly, you could run off the road and spiral out of control. Many people do not intend to commit adultery, but they get sucked into the black ice of deceit. In John 8:44, Jesus described the Devil as “a liar and the Father of Lies.” Lies deceive people because lies are designed to look like the truth. People begin to believe that cheating on their spouse is the RIGHT thing to do!
In John 10:10, Jesus said:
John 10:10 (NLT2)
10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
If you are married, God wants your marriage to be rich and satisfying. But the Devil seeks to destroy it. The Devil’s purpose is to STEAL, KILL, and DESTROY your marriage. The Devil wants to steal your happiness, kill your joy, and destroy your family.
The Devil is going to whisper into your ear…
The devil is going to tempt you with your eyes…
The Devil is going to put people in your life that you may fantasize about…
The Devil wants to steal, kill, and destroy your life.
First, the Devil is going to try to make you feel…
DISCONTENT
He will whisper that you are just not happy in your marriage. He whispers that you are lonely and sad, and your spouse is not meeting your needs. He tells you once were happy, but your spouse has changed. He begins to whisper that it may be time to find somebody else. Then, the Devil will begin to whisper in your ear about…
ENTITLEMENT
He tells you that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with somebody who will laugh at your jokes, have sex whenever you want, and keep the house clean. If you are a woman, you may hear the whisper that your husband is not “manly” enough for you. If you are a man, you may hear the whisper that your wife is not “hot” anymore. Then, the Devil leads you to think you can cheat on your spouse and get away with it. He lets you believe that you can…
CONCEAL the truth.
He whispers that you will be able to keep the affair secret. He leads you to think that you can cover up your sin and nobody will ever find out.
You change the passcode on your phone. Delete messages. Maybe you buy a burner phone. The whole time, you know the affair is wrong, but you believe you can get away with it. And now, you have bought into the lies and the trap of the Devil. You don’t realize it, but your clothes and your house are burning down because of the affair. And now you are living in the land of…
EVASION
You are minimizing the sin of adultery. The Devil has warped your mind into believing that adultery is not as bad as people say it is. You evade the truth that you have already gone too far. Your family is burning down around you, but you fail to see the truth. You have given into the whispers of the Devil who desires to steal, kill, and destroy your life…and if you are a follower of Jesus, somewhere along the line, the Devil began to use the truth as a weapon against you, and you start to believe that an affair was…
INEVITABLE
Because you understand the biblical truth that “all have sinned,” you begin to listen to the twisted deception of the devil and tell yourself, “I’m a sinner. I’m weak. I may as well give in…but God says,
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT2)
13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
Hebrews 2:18 (NLT2)
18 Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested.
Adultery is not inevitable. You are not strong enough to resist, but God is strong enough to help you. And all along the way, the Devil has been taking the TRUTH and…
TWISTING it.
Every scripture passage you read, the Devil twists the meaning. Every sermon you hear, the Devil twists the meaning. The Devil wants to steal, kill, and destroy your life – and he will resort to using the Word of God to do it.
He will take the truth of scripture, twist it, and tempt you to cheat on your spouse.nHe will whisper things like:
“You are already forgiven.”
“Nothing can separate you from God’s Love…”
But, as followers of Jesus, we are called to live a changed life.
So, avoid the damage that adultery will do and…
Steer your HEART, MIND, and BODY away from danger. (Proverbs 4:23, 2 Tim 2:22, Matt 5:27-28)
HEART:
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT2)
23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
You steer your heart away from danger by choosing to love your spouse. Refuse to give in to the whispers of the Devil that tell you, “You are not content with your spouse and deserve something better.” Guard your heart and call it a lie. Then, ask God to help you see the truth about your spouse that you have missed. Guard your heart by embracing the truth about your spouse. Take note of the way they serve, their faithfulness, and their loyalty to you. And steer your mind away from danger! Jesus raised the bar on what it meant to be unfaithful to our spouse.
He said:
Matthew 5:27-28 (NLT2)
27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Men and women, I know you do not intend to commit adultery. But Jesus said, if you lust, you have already committed adultery IN YOUR HEART. Keep the thoughts of your mind from veering out of control into adultery as well. Steer your mind as far away from adultery as you can get.
That means:
Stop wondering what your old college or high school flame has been doing.
Don’t send friend requests to old boyfriends or girlfriends.
Stop looking them up on social media to see how their life turned out.
Stop fantasizing about what it would be like to be with somebody else.
Those are simple ways to steer your mind away from temptation.
And steer your BODY away from temptation:
2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT2)
22 Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.
Run away from anything that stimulates youthful lusts!
Practically, that means:
If you can’t wait to get to the gym because you are attracted to a person who works out there, find another gym. If you can’t wait to play pickleball because a certain somebody will be there, stop playing pickleball. Stop sending signals that you are available; don’t remove your wedding ring if you go out with the guys and the girls.
To strengthen your marriage this week, begin attending Celebrate Recovery. If you struggle with hurt, habit, or hang-up, get involved with CR. They meet every Friday at 6 PM in Adventure Beach. Celebrate Recovery is for anybody with any struggle. And if flirting is your hang-up, get involved with CR. The Devil wants to steal, kill, and destroy your marriage through deceit, but God wants to bless your marriage and give you a long and satisfying life.